Why whenever a dude asks for dating advice here, he specifies that the guy must be good-looking and/or fit?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 17, 2014 7:46 PM GMT
    Isn't that the main reason he doesn't find a guy because he is obsessed with looks? Shallow much?
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    Aug 17, 2014 8:02 PM GMT
    kevex saidIsn't that the main reason he doesn't find a guy because he is obsessed with looks? Shallow much?


    By the thread title, I thought you were trying to insinuate that these guys who ask for dating advice are looking for guys far out of their league, that they have unrealistically high standards and should limit their choices. I could be mean and ask you why do you post pictures of guys that you yourself cannot attain because let's be real, even your own reflection must hate you, but I won't...

    (but I did.)
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    Aug 17, 2014 8:56 PM GMT
    Kuestion said
    kevex saidIsn't that the main reason he doesn't find a guy because he is obsessed with looks? Shallow much?


    By the thread title, I thought you were trying to insinuate that these guys who ask for dating advice are looking for guys far out of their league, that they have unrealistically high standards and should limit their choices. I could be mean and ask you why do you post pictures of guys that you yourself cannot attain because let's be real, even your own reflection must hate you, but I won't...

    (but I did.)


    What the fuck does that have to do with the topic? icon_confused.gif I'm talking about guys posting why they can't find a date but they make a list of requirements. THat shrinks the possibilities of ever finding a guy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 17, 2014 9:08 PM GMT
    Because, deep inside, they just want to hook up.
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    Aug 18, 2014 12:06 AM GMT
    lullaby666 saidBecause, deep inside, they just want to hook up.



    That's the irony of the gay world.
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    Aug 18, 2014 12:11 AM GMT
    Gotta admit though, we all want someone who's cute, fit and smart. But on the other hand, men think just cause they're fit, they don't want anyone who's less than they are look-wise. To sooner realize that how superficial they were to base a relationship on looks only. Life is one huge lesson that one should open their full eyes to see the bigger picture.
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    Aug 18, 2014 12:30 AM GMT
    a66a saidGotta admit though, we all want someone who's cute, fit and smart. But on the other hand, men think just cause they're fit, they don't want anyone who's less than they are look-wise. To sooner realize that how superficial they were to base a relationship on looks only. Life is one huge lesson that one should open their full eyes to see the bigger picture.


    I like the way you think icon_smile.gif
  • melloyello

    Posts: 149

    Aug 18, 2014 6:00 AM GMT
    I met a cute dude in his mid-twenties that goes to my gym a year or so ago, who (IMHO) has above average looks. We've seen each other on Grindr; his profile always read something like "Hopeless romantic wants special connection with someone above average." Now I have no reason to doubt this but whenever I see him in the gay scene, he's always with some member of the ripped, hot partyboy crowd. So basically he wants the above + a model physique.

    I've noticed the edges of bitterness creeping up, so I take it that its not working out so well so far...
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    Aug 18, 2014 6:37 AM GMT
    This is a popular question with a very common answer, People are shallow. You could say that in biology terms we look down for the best genes through the eyes, but, thats just scientific crap to justify guys that look boobs. Well, lullabybeastnumber is right, they put that standars, because no matter if the guy is brainless or a douche, if they are tasty looking they want it. Other idea is that people usually want to relate to people that looks like them, so they dont have deal in having things in common, but usually that is not always right. So lets say that the main reason for this is satisfying their own ego.
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    Aug 18, 2014 12:02 PM GMT
    kevex said
    Kuestion said
    kevex saidIsn't that the main reason he doesn't find a guy because he is obsessed with looks? Shallow much?


    By the thread title, I thought you were trying to insinuate that these guys who ask for dating advice are looking for guys far out of their league, that they have unrealistically high standards and should limit their choices. I could be mean and ask you why do you post pictures of guys that you yourself cannot attain because let's be real, even your own reflection must hate you, but I won't...

    (but I did.)


    What the fuck does that have to do with the topic? icon_confused.gif I'm talking about guys posting why they can't find a date but they make a list of requirements. THat shrinks the possibilities of ever finding a guy.


    So, as I said unrealistically high standards, blah, blah, blah icon_rolleyes.gificon_lol.gif

    I swear you are too impulsive.
  • ASHDOD

    Posts: 1057

    Aug 18, 2014 1:06 PM GMT
    kevex saidIsn't that the main reason he doesn't find a guy because he is obsessed with looks? Shallow much?


    becouse otherwise he would get messages from guys who he finds unattractive, and that a bit counterprudoctive.
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    Aug 18, 2014 2:42 PM GMT
    Ashdod said
    kevex saidIsn't that the main reason he doesn't find a guy because he is obsessed with looks? Shallow much?


    becouse otherwise he would get messages from guys who he finds unattractive, and that a bit counterprudoctive.



    Yes but by saying "good-looking", what do they mean? Hot, sexy, cute, handsome are all subjective terms.
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    Aug 18, 2014 2:56 PM GMT
    A friend of mine, a smooth talker about 60, unattractive, morbidly obese without two nickels to rub together but the trappings of wealth (rent stabilized apartment a third the market rent and biannual Fire Island beach house rental share), once explained to me around a table of three other tops what his type was and why he wasn't so picky. Which prompted me to say:

    "So let's be clear about this. Your type has to be young, muscular, good looking, well educated from an ivy league school, but he doesn't have to be blonde or rich?"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 18, 2014 3:07 PM GMT
    On a previous thread about why people cheat or relationships don't work or what have you, one of us said something to the effect of: Every 7 thinks he's a 9 and if he lands a 10 he'll be looking over the guy's shoulder for an 11.
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    Aug 18, 2014 3:16 PM GMT
    Because if he says he's looking for the opposite his inbox will be flooded with marriage proposals.
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    Aug 18, 2014 4:41 PM GMT
    We should be searching for guys who are "ugly and out of shape."
  • FRE0

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    Aug 18, 2014 6:05 PM GMT
    Generally, being fit is a choice that most people can make. Unfortunately we are having an obesity epidemic. Although some obese people are very nice, I do not find them attractive.

    People do not need to be exceedingly muscular to be attractive, but surely they can avoid being fat and look reasonably fit.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 18, 2014 6:07 PM GMT
    This reminds of me of online app profiles where guys would write- "I am only into fit, good looking, and hung guys".
    Isn't that what everyone is looking for? Do you really need to write the obvious?icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 18, 2014 6:57 PM GMT
    Ugly guys are like mopeds...everyone wants to ride one, but nobody wants their friends to see them on it.
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    Aug 18, 2014 7:25 PM GMT
    Luckily, good looking is subjective. Not everyone has the same definition of good looking and not everyone is capable of attaining their particular idea of good looking because they aren't that good looking themselves. Eventually people learn their limitations and wind up with someone that is comparable in looks to themselves, or if they don't, they end up old, uncoupled and alone.
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    Aug 18, 2014 9:00 PM GMT
    kevex said
    Ashdod said
    kevex saidIsn't that the main reason he doesn't find a guy because he is obsessed with looks? Shallow much?


    becouse otherwise he would get messages from guys who he finds unattractive, and that a bit counterprudoctive.



    Yes but by saying "good-looking", what do they mean? Hot, sexy, cute, handsome are all subjective terms.


    This. They want someone they find attractive. Which is stating the obvious. But hey, it's not lying. It doesn't necessarily mean that they are shallow.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Aug 19, 2014 6:04 AM GMT
    You raise a good question but this is why I really don't care if someone stats their preferences like I mentioned in the "Guys speaking their preference" thread. I mean, at least it's better to know if you stand a chance or not lol.

    I mean, I won't lie, I have my own preferences myself. I really like big beefy muscular type guys and I would love to be said guys little spoon. While I am working out and wanting to put a bit of mass on me, I'd never want to look like said type I really like as I like bean lean/smaller. When it comes to my preferences, I try to be polite with them and will still talk to a guy, even if I don't find him attractive.

    I do remember one time, I met a guy who wasn't initially my type but as we got to know each other, I slowly came around. Unfortunately, when we started to get to know each other in person, I started to see his other side which I didn't find all that pleasant. The point is, we all our preferences but sometimes, things can happen.

    As for the "good looking" and "fit", well, maybe they're idea of those terms is different? Again, when I say I like fit, I don't mind the beefy look but to others, that wouldn't be considered it. Again, this is why I think it's better if guys are a little specific in what they like. Does that mean they'll get said person? Who knows. But yeah. Good question.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 19, 2014 6:30 AM GMT
    kevex saidIsn't that the main reason he doesn't find a guy because he is obsessed with looks? Shallow much?

    You forgot to mention that these guys also refer to themselves as good looking, yet whine about not being able to find other good looking guys. icon_lol.gif
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    Aug 19, 2014 10:37 PM GMT
    Physical attraction is an important competent of any physical relationship. That doesn't mean that we don't grow older, gain a few pounds, etc, but, on a site like realjock.com, you would expect to find fit and good looking people. We are attracted to like minded folks.

    Not wanting to be with a fat ass, hairy smoker, who is inactive, and self labels as an animal name is not the guy I want to hang with non-stop, no matter how many times he tells me how hot I am, that doesn't change the fact that he's a fat, out of shape, slob. That doesn't make me shallow. That makes me honest.

    Being gay does not entitle you to my ass because you think I'm hot, etc. I hold you to the same social grace as other people.

    Nothing shallow about saying I want fit, well groomed, engaging, folks, with intelligence, in my inner circle.
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    Aug 20, 2014 1:57 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle said
    kevex saidIsn't that the main reason he doesn't find a guy because he is obsessed with looks? Shallow much?


    Why is someone else shallow when you apparently do absolutely nothing to maintain a physically fit build?

    Why are you on a site like realjock when you don't participate in any type of sport whatsoever (which is apparently obvious)?

    And my guess is you don't understand what a "defined" build means because that is how you labeled yourself in your profile. Judging from those sausage, buttery-smooth arms and double chin I beg to differ. And you're only twenty-one years old.

    You're single. What's your excuse for being single?



    lol By the simple fact that you're HIV+, you got yourself an ugly ass old boyfriend. And everyone you attract like that fat Canadian loser YOurname2000 are super ugly, just like you. Nobody wants a STD filled guy. icon_wink.gif