Ever been to a straight male friend's bachelor party?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 19, 2014 12:40 PM GMT
    Just out of curiosity, how many of you guys have straight friends who've had bachelor parties before getting married that you were invited to? What did you guys do/where did you go? Were you uncomfortable? And were you out to your friend prior to being invited?
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    Aug 19, 2014 6:27 PM GMT
    No one?
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Aug 19, 2014 8:23 PM GMT
    I've been to a few. No, I wasn't out at the time but that made it worse. Once the guys ganged up on me and had the stripper all over me. She knew I wasn't at all excited and whispered in my ear to not worry, she had my secret and would keep it. She did, too. I find it pretty unpleasant at those things but if you're out to your friends, as I am now, I could see going and just standing back to laugh. Went to one that ended up in a brawl with the whole room going at it. Now that was fun! I got a perfect blood stain on my fedora, smack in the middle of the front. I wore that hat for years.
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    Aug 19, 2014 8:27 PM GMT
    Pretty tame. All of my friends are nerds.
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    Aug 19, 2014 8:28 PM GMT
    Yes, more than one, but it was pretty mild, did not involve strippers or anything.

    I have been told on a few occasions that they wanted to invite me but didn't because that's what they were doing and they assumed it would be uncomfortable for me. The last time, I said I would rather be invited and make that decision myself. The groom felt bad and we ended up having another, tamer celebration with just a few of us. I'm good friends with his wife and have heard that just getting to know us (my BF and me) has been a real evolution for him.
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    Aug 19, 2014 11:53 PM GMT
    My circle of friends is very well-behaved and mild-mannered. So the bachelor parties I have been to are very tame. icon_smile.gif
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    Aug 20, 2014 12:09 AM GMT
    I remember giving the barebreasted stipper chick a dollar just to get the fuck away from me...
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    Aug 20, 2014 12:11 AM GMT
    How to deal with the strip club experience:

    Take fifty bucks in ONES and FIVES. Strippers don't judge you based on your sexuality but your generosity or lack of it.

  • Aleco_Graves

    Posts: 708

    Aug 20, 2014 12:27 AM GMT
    I know gay men aren't attracted to woman,
    but why does it sound like some of you guys were disgusted that the female stripper was on your lap?

    She's not asking for bump and grind, just the last part icon_lol.gif
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    Aug 20, 2014 12:46 AM GMT
    Only one that I can remember, early 90's, I was just out to family at that time and no one else. The bachelor was the son of the owner of the small business I worked for at the time. Pretty mild I guess, lots of alcohol, food, I think we played Euchre (as opposed to Poker), lesbian porn on a big screen TV (at that time, 60" projection TV's cost over $8,000!) icon_lol.gif

    This bachelor had a 24ft boat and lived near a marina. Just before midnight, most of the guys had left the party. The bachelor decided to take the rest of us 4 guys on a 1/2 hr boat ride to a local bar, one of those marina bars, you dock your boat in the marina and walk to the bar. It didn't end well when we left at 2am closing time.

    The boat had a single-engine inboard, typical no reverse! Docking was a pain, same with launching from the dock, we had to help maneuver out of the dock space to avoid hitting other boats, but we were all toasted, by the time we got out of the harbor, the coast guard had spotted us and pulled us over. The bachelor got ticked for drunk boating, had to stay and the 4 of us were sent home by other means. I don't remember how I got back to my car, I think by cab, I must have been sobered up by then, I didn't get home till 5-6am, Oh, his dad, the business owner, got him out of trouble. As far as crazy bachelor party stories, I gave this one an 8 icon_lol.gif


    very hard to maneuver this type with no reverse, add alcohol = disaster

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ22V6b2wrKHwKdGs5-MMQ
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    Aug 20, 2014 2:46 AM GMT
    ShiftyJK08 saidYes, more than one, but it was pretty mild, did not involve strippers or anything.

    I have been told on a few occasions that they wanted to invite me but didn't because that's what they were doing and they assumed it would be uncomfortable for me. The last time, I said I would rather be invited and make that decision myself. The groom felt bad and we ended up having another, tamer celebration with just a few of us. I'm good friends with his wife and have heard that just getting to know us (my BF and me) has been a real evolution for him.


    Well that was nice of him. But I definitely agree that you should have been invited and able to make the decision for yourself.

    The main reason I made this thread is because I can see a straight friend of mine getting married within the next few years, and I'm not out to him yet, but I wonder if I do come out if he would still invite me or not knowing that I'm attracted to men more than women...
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    Aug 20, 2014 3:10 AM GMT
    Went to a strip club. It was boring. I spent most of my time outside smoking cigarettes with some Russian dudes. Not sure if they were mobsters, but they were pretty chill. icon_lol.gif
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    Aug 20, 2014 12:59 PM GMT
    Have been to a few straight stag parties in the last 3 years. Full of debauchery. I like titty club hopping better than the hotel room parties. At one of the titty clubs we paid some dominatrices to abduct the groom, strip him down to his tighty whities and abuse him on stage while the rest of us cheered. In the hotel things can get too out of hand -- best to avoid. And yes, am out to everyone.
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    Aug 20, 2014 1:19 PM GMT
    signseller said
    ShiftyJK08 saidYes, more than one, but it was pretty mild, did not involve strippers or anything.

    I have been told on a few occasions that they wanted to invite me but didn't because that's what they were doing and they assumed it would be uncomfortable for me. The last time, I said I would rather be invited and make that decision myself. The groom felt bad and we ended up having another, tamer celebration with just a few of us. I'm good friends with his wife and have heard that just getting to know us (my BF and me) has been a real evolution for him.


    Well that was nice of him. But I definitely agree that you should have been invited and able to make the decision for yourself.

    The main reason I made this thread is because I can see a straight friend of mine getting married within the next few years, and I'm not out to him yet, but I wonder if I do come out if he would still invite me or not knowing that I'm attracted to men more than women...


    It's a good question. Some straight guys feel like they have to "protect" you or show how progressive they are by treating you like a chick. One guy started apologizing for swearing in front of me (seriously?). That kind of guy might not ask you and -- when pressed -- will say he didn't want to make you uncomfortable. I would tell him that you appreciate it, but you are still the same friend he knows and not suddenly some delicate flower.

    Others absorb this info and go right back to treating you the same way, possibly just using it for new ammo for good-natured ribbing. This guy would expect you to suck it up and be one of the guys on his big night, rather than making it about you. You would have to decide if you were comfortable with that.

    I strongly suspect that most straight guys -- unless they are the type that frequent places like strip clubs -- are secretly just as uncomfortable at such things as you might be, albeit for different reasons.

    Oh amusingly, I just remembered that I have at least one straight "friend" who treats my boyfriend and me very differently. In his head, I am clearly "the guy" who he feels like he can let his hair down with, roughhouse with, and teasingly flirt with. He's much more reserved toward my boyfriend, even though he met us at the same time. I wonder what signals we give off that triggers this; I do not perceive my guy to be more fem than me.

    Does your friend have other friends who are gay/out? How he is towards them is a pretty indication of how he'll be towards you.
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    Aug 20, 2014 5:18 PM GMT
    Several, all of which were totally raucous blasts, and as Best Man for one, I put on a good show! I've always enjoyed straight stag events and so has everyone else whose ever attended one w/ me. Oh, and yes, everyone's known I'm gay and it's never been an impediment to my being invited to one or being asked to put one on as Best Man. Friendship's the thing, so if you feel you've got a solid one, go for it!
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    Aug 20, 2014 5:25 PM GMT
    Had a blast! Got the strippers to abuse my buddy on stage! :-)
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    Aug 20, 2014 5:33 PM GMT
    TomatoTomato saidHad a blast! Got the strippers to abuse my buddy on stage! :-)


    I think u have the right idea, if u buy a lap dance for the groom-to-be, keep the attention on him, you can have fun at his expense (well, and your wallet's) and hopefully avoid taking one for the team. Show no weakness! LOL
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    Aug 20, 2014 5:41 PM GMT
    Determinate saidHow to deal with the strip club experience:

    Take fifty bucks in ONES and FIVES. Strippers don't judge you based on your sexuality but your generosity or lack of it.



    Have a yuk and ask her for change for a dollar...icon_wink.gif
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    Aug 20, 2014 5:45 PM GMT
    My good straight friend invited me to his bachelor party which was being held at a titty bar. At first I wasn't sure what to expect but frankly...it wasn't about me. It was about showing him a good time and creating a memory! I had a freaking blast and got up and close with some boobies. The straight guys were hootin and hollerin when I went up and started placing dollars bills in bikinis and it meant a lot to my friend that I was there sharing this special occasion with him. Afterwards, I met up with the bachelorette party and brought them to a gay bar. Fun was had by all. LOL
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    Aug 20, 2014 9:23 PM GMT
    rugbyguyfl said...Afterwards, I met up with the bachelorette party and brought them to a gay bar. Fun was had by all. LOL


    So YOU'RE that guy! icon_evil.gif
  • daveindenver

    Posts: 314

    Aug 20, 2014 9:44 PM GMT
    If you get invited, OF COURSE you should go. This event is about your buddy and your friendship, not whether you are " turned on " or not. Wow.
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    Aug 21, 2014 1:56 AM GMT
    daveindenver saidIf you get invited, OF COURSE you should go. This event is about your buddy and your friendship, not whether you are " turned on " or not. Wow.


    I wasn't questioning whether I should go or not, I was questioning whether he would invite me in the first place if I were to come out to him.

    He doesn't have any other gay friends that I know of, but his brother is gay and so is his girlfriend's brother. One of his best friend's brothers is also gay. He is pretty open-minded and doesn't seem "bothered" by gay men at all. I just feel like he might be pretty shocked when I come out to him, because I'm not sure if he has any idea. icon_confused.gif
  • Sportsfan1

    Posts: 479

    Aug 21, 2014 2:28 AM GMT
    Only one. I was out but not to this group of guys. I was a little uncomfortable but not overly so. Lots of drinking, lots of "straight porn" that was not very good. Then finally the strippers showed up. I had to lick whipped cream off the stripper's nipple, for me very unpleasant but no one caught on not even the stripper! One of the strippers had us hide dollar bills on the groom's body and she had to locate each one. Seeing my friend the future groom in his underwear was the highlight of the evening for me. I did not attend my brother's bachelor party and I am glad I did not go.
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    Aug 21, 2014 3:05 AM GMT
    signseller said
    daveindenver saidIf you get invited, OF COURSE you should go. This event is about your buddy and your friendship, not whether you are " turned on " or not. Wow.


    I wasn't questioning whether I should go or not, I was questioning whether he would invite me in the first place if I were to come out to him.

    He doesn't have any other gay friends that I know of, but his brother is gay and so is his girlfriend's brother. One of his best friend's brothers is also gay. He is pretty open-minded and doesn't seem "bothered" by gay men at all. I just feel like he might be pretty shocked when I come out to him, because I'm not sure if he has any idea. icon_confused.gif


    Why don't you just go ahead and tell him right now? What's the hold up?
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    Aug 21, 2014 3:46 AM GMT
    I went to my brother in laws bachelor party and I'm still in the closet. I had a great time while we were skiing/snowboarding and partying in the house we rented. I didn't have so much fun when we went to the strip club LOL. It really sucked. I was so worried about trying to fit in, and pretending I was enjoying myself as a chick was giving me a lap dance. It was an awkward night for me to say the least