Do You Know Your Neighbors?

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    Aug 20, 2014 3:34 PM GMT
    Or neighbours?

    A third of Canadians and half of Americans admitted in studies that they don’t know the names of any neighbors. In the UK, one in three people couldn’t pick their neighbors out of a police lineup.

    http://www.macleans.ca/society/the-end-of-neighbours/

    In my neighborhood I know at least 20 fellow dog owners(we usually do).
    I'm a gardener so that starts conversations too. I'm on a first name basis with at least 50 people in the surrounding blocks.

    BUT THERE'S NO SHAME IF YOU DON'T KNOW ANYONE. Some living arrangements are more difficult for connections than others.

    SO, DO YOU KNOW YOUR NEIGHBORS?
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    Aug 20, 2014 3:47 PM GMT
    Yup
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Aug 20, 2014 4:07 PM GMT
    I wave to them when I'm out front watering my garden... that's about it.icon_confused.gif
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Aug 20, 2014 4:09 PM GMT
    I live in a 12 unit condominium and yes, I know everyone. But because of close proximity, we all respect each other's privacy. So while we are friends by the pool or on the dock or see each other elsewhere, we don't socialize together or visit each other in the apartments. Before here, I lived in a big house on a large lot completely sheltered by hedges in all directions except the street. I hated that and barely knew my neighbors at all.
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    Aug 20, 2014 4:28 PM GMT
    As a matter fact yes , we are the original owners of the 6 flats that compose our small building . My neighbours and i moved on the same time 22 years ago .icon_smile.gif
    It might seem weird to Americans who are incessantly moving ..lol..
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    Aug 20, 2014 4:43 PM GMT
    I knew just about all my neighbors, probably 90% on my last block and in my new neighborhood I know even my neighbors who have been living next to each other for many years without having ever spoken to each other.

    I even have one neighbor, a lovely older lady who's become my lunch partner, smart, funny lady, who once tried telling me something I guess she thought only she knew about a neighbor and she was so surprised that I already knew about it that she commented on how odd it was that I seem to know all my neighbors already and their stories.

    Like hottjoe, I do a lot of gardening only I don't just wave. I talk to my neighbors. I say hi when making eye contact, I say hi to their doggies when they walk by. And people just come over to say hello and many stay for quite a while, interfering with my gardening. Sometimes ya gotsta cut it short to get work done, especially because often people walk at sunset when I'm trying to get in the last hour of light.

    I've even got one neighbor, so sad, I've never seen a single person visit him. But I chat with him and he seems a pretty nice guy. Terribly fat, he drives his garbage pails to the curb: I've never seen that before. I help him sometimes with stuff around his house and I've planted some trees for him at my cost, spruce his place up a little bit.

    I often get involved with community affairs not just in my own neighborhood but at the town/civic level too though I haven't done that here yet, just some volunteer work at one of the hospitals.

    The dog thang the OP mentions can be very fun actually. We had a group that used to get together with our dogs almost every night for a couple of years. That was not my neighborhood but I'd walk my dog there until he got too old. And I used to throw dog birthday parties "for him". I know that sounds crazy stupid. But it was fun and neighbors who attended loved them. I always got lots of good comments on that.
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    Aug 20, 2014 4:50 PM GMT
    neffa said...It might seem weird to Americans who are incessantly moving ..lol..


    That's a bit of a misnomer. It used to be more true than today and I forget the stats, I could look it up, but people move much less now than they once did. I looked at that within the last year and I recall being surprised by the long term trend as I thought it was what you just said.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 871

    Aug 20, 2014 4:51 PM GMT
    Nope.

    They are all old, rich folks.
    I have the money myself. What's wrong with some good looksicon_redface.gif

    SC
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    Aug 20, 2014 5:09 PM GMT
    I know the people on either side of us and we have (all three of us) gone in together on tree trimming and whatnot to save money, will clear snow from each other's sidewalks, etc., but we don't do anything socially. In 20+ years I was in one of their houses once, only to see a bathroom reno they did to decide if I wanted to use the same people.

    Years ago I was "say hi" friendly with two young guys on our street who were still living with their parents at that time, because I walk all over. They have both grown up and moved on.

    After 9-11 there was a brief flurry of "wow we really don't know each other, maybe we should be more social" but it didn't last long.
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    Aug 20, 2014 5:33 PM GMT
    I don't want to know my neighbors. They are loud and annoying.
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    Aug 20, 2014 5:59 PM GMT
    There was a guy lived across the street in his 70s. His wife had died a few years before and his only child, a daughter, lived in the next state.

    He was a nice man. Very lonely, too, I guessed. I could see his bedroom light from my front door...it was always on by eight or nine o'clock and off by the time I left for work in the morning....

    One morning I noticed it was still on. Sort of strange but nothing unusual. By the next day, I noticed something was up.
    I called his daughter. She came by the next morning. Yep. He had died in his sleep.

    He knew my schedule and always seemed to be in his front yard when I either left or came home from work. He always liked to engage me in conversation to the point where I thought it a bit of a nuisance...

    I'm so sorry. Give the people who are your neighbors a bit of a break and share a minute or two with them in conversation.
    You never know how much that might mean to them. For some of them, you are the only person they will talk to that day.
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    Aug 20, 2014 6:06 PM GMT
    " I used to throw dog birthday parties "for him". I know that sounds crazy stupid. "

    Dog People are either naturally more gregarious or we are forced to become so. Our little friends get us to join the pack.
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    Aug 20, 2014 6:16 PM GMT
    bon_pan saidThere was a guy lived across the street in his 70s. His wife had died a few years before and his only child, a daughter, lived in the next state.

    He was a nice man. Very lonely, too, I guessed. I could see his bedroom light from my front door...it was always on by eight or nine o'clock and off by the time I left for work in the morning....

    One morning I noticed it was still on. Sort of strange but nothing unusual. By the next day, I noticed something was up.
    I called his daughter. She came by the next morning. Yep. He had died in his sleep.

    He knew my schedule and always seemed to be in his front yard when I either left or came home from work. He always liked to engage me in conversation to the point where I thought it a bit of a nuisance...

    I'm so sorry. Give the people who are your neighbors a bit of a break and share a minute or two with them in conversation.
    You never know how much that might mean to them. For some of them, you are the only person they will talk to that day.


    We have one of those guys on the next block. I am too far away to know his patterns well but I do know when I catch him outside, my walk is going to be delayed a bit.
  • metta

    Posts: 39077

    Aug 20, 2014 6:29 PM GMT
    YES!!! More than know them...I'm friends of many of them.

    When we first moved in we created events which turned into a social committee to encourage a close knit community to develop. And it has worked well. We have 4 main community events for the entire development as well as block parties in various parts of it. We go out to dinner, concerts, parties, etc.

    One of the first neighbor parties we had, the neighbor had a karaoke machine and my best friend sang the first song and had everyone in the party join in. That song was the Yellow Submarine. When my best friend was in the hospital, several of them went to his hospital room. He was dying at the time. The day before I had to have him taken off the machines, they got together and sang the Yellow Submarine to him.

    After he past away, my neighbors got together and created the most amazing Irish wake for him. They got me this incredible 5' x 5' x 5' floral arrangement after he past.

    So..yeah...I know my neighbors....they are a pretty amazing group of people.

  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Aug 20, 2014 9:02 PM GMT
    No, and I don't have any desire to know them.
    I live in a building of 8 condos.
    I know the first names of 2 different neighbors.
    I wish I were more outgoing...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 21, 2014 12:06 AM GMT
    [quote] SO, DO YOU KNOW YOUR NEIGHBORS?[/quote]


    Oh what a nice pleasant topic.

    I do know my neighbors down my street and on both sides.

    I say hello often and hold genuine fondness for them. "love thy neighbor"

    is a good thing right? We have each others back when we travel and I help

    with some yard work when it's overwhelmingly difficult for some who are order.

    I live in a very religious area and very Mormon. They know I am different and have come

    to accept that and actually, I think they embrace it more now than I have ever known.

    Today, I did visit my neighbor who lived right next to me over some major pluming issues

    We talked for a long time because she seemed very stressed out with the mess of the construction.

    I think being there and being able to share burdens and problems can be a great neighborly thing to do.

    If the world would be more neighborly to each other we might just be able to coexist with love, peace and harmony.

    Side note:
    My town was rated the most conservative in the NATION. I live in a suburb 15 miles east of phoenix. MESA, AZ.
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    Aug 21, 2014 12:08 AM GMT
    I say hello when i see them, but aside from that no. I have never been one to feel because you are my neighbour I need to befriend you.
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    Aug 21, 2014 12:23 AM GMT
    I know my next door neighbor on one side but never get to interact with the ones on the other side.

    I can't stand this obnoxious neighbor. He's just so loud all the time. He can't talk normally and has to yell when he talks, plus he uses a lot of profanity constantly.

    He offered to maintain my yard (not for free, of course), which I accepted. He did a good job for a few years then got really lazy that my yard became a mess. I asked him about it and he just never did anything. So I "fired" him too.

    I wish he just moves away. icon_mad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 21, 2014 12:24 AM GMT
    "My town was rated the most conservative in the NATION. I live in a suburb 15 miles east of phoenix. MESA, AZ."

    My farm in upstate SC must be in the second most conservative area...and my neighbors there are perfectly accepting as well.

    But there is a difference in country living. Country people tend to socialize within their churches and not very much otherwise---simply because they don't have other options.
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    Aug 21, 2014 12:47 AM GMT
    Determinate said"My town was rated the most conservative in the NATION. I live in a suburb 15 miles east of phoenix. MESA, AZ."

    My farm in upstate SC must be in the second most conservative area...and my neighbors there are perfectly accepting as well.

    But there is a difference in country living. Country people tend to socialize within their churches and not very much otherwise---simply because they don't have other options.


    I say this:

    Stand tall wherever you are. Be at peace and share your light with others. Show your best side. Be real and share.
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    Aug 21, 2014 12:58 AM GMT
    Determinate said" I used to throw dog birthday parties "for him". I know that sounds crazy stupid. "

    Dog People are either naturally more gregarious or we are forced to become so. Our little friends get us to join the pack.

    This.
    If you have a dog you are out there 3 times a day or more. The dog is a license to talk. Even otherwise shy people will pet the dog and engage in a little banter.

    Thanks to the dog I know the names, and converse with, all the people on my block and a selection of other dog owners from around the neighborhood.
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    Aug 21, 2014 3:09 AM GMT
    No
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    Aug 21, 2014 3:27 AM GMT
    Determinate said" I used to throw dog birthday parties "for him". I know that sounds crazy stupid. "

    Dog People are either naturally more gregarious or we are forced to become so. Our little friends get us to join the pack.


    And it's fun to chase away the cat people.

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    Aug 21, 2014 2:08 PM GMT
    LionEyes saidBig city dwellers are less likely to know their neighbors, because you rarely bump into them in common areas of your building. You probably would if you have a pet for instance or you purposely want to. In general people are very into themselves, they don't even say good morning let alone make eye contact. Unless I'm in a rush or a bad mood I will say good morning in the elevator and will kindly reply any neighbor inquiry.


    QFT. There is a big condo building in a former hospital near us and the ground floor feels like a hotel lobby, with lounges and a game room for the residents. My friend and her husband were put off by the idea of socializing with their fellow residents. I actually think I would kind of like it... like being at a resort all the time.
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    Aug 25, 2014 7:58 AM GMT
    I have met, and chatted with, quite a few of my neighbors since I moved in a few months ago.

    My subdivision also has its own Facebook group which, though certainly not a replacement for actual human interaction, does serve to foster a sense of community in an age where people are more isolated in their own lives and homes. I think that for some there is a desire to recreate -- at least virtually -- a sense of neighborhood that was more common in decades past.

    I've had enjoyable in-person conversations with neighbors whom I had first "met" online, so in that sense the FB group can serve as an icebreaker. It has also revealed to me the presence of a number of other gay households here -- something of which I wouldn't necessarily have been aware otherwise.