Are many of us doomed for Problematic sexual relationships is due to hyper-sexualised gay culture???

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 21, 2014 4:29 PM GMT
    Because gay men have been very sexualized throughout the years, forming healthy intimate relationships is problematic for many and near impossible for some. What do you think

    The 'gay scene' comes in many forms in both the real and virtual world. The common thread is sexually motivated so does this mean that we will ever see a time that same sex attracted men will view being gay as being hyper sexual as the norm
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    Aug 21, 2014 4:37 PM GMT
    It's weird but the first question I got asked about by another gay bloke in a gay club is "what are you looking for?" I was confused so said what do you mean (paraphrasing) so he asked me if I wanted to have sex with him. I would like to think I'm not the only person that finds that soooo awkward.

    I would like to think that that behaviour is not the norm though.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Aug 21, 2014 4:39 PM GMT
    Sydneyrugbyjock73 saidThe 'gay scene' comes in many forms in both the real and virtual world. The common thread is sexually motivated so does this mean that we will ever see a time that same sex attracted men will view being gay as being hyper sexual as the norm

    I'm confused, aren't you saying being "hyper sexual" is already the norm?
  • metta

    Posts: 39075

    Aug 21, 2014 4:42 PM GMT
    With the exception of hookup apps, I don't see it being that different than straight people. Look at how difficult it is for them to have a long term healthy relationship.
  • Eli_jah

    Posts: 1391

    Aug 21, 2014 4:43 PM GMT
    Yes, I agree.

    The Fiona Apple-esque title of this thread is kinda cool as well. icon_cool.gif
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    Aug 21, 2014 4:44 PM GMT
    What's funny about these dudes that say they want serious relationships and not hookups always surround themselves with dudes they find physically attractive and wouldn't dare go near someone of another race or body shape. Also, gays (including the monogamous ones) become more and more shallow. Now the gay world expects every dude to have a fucking beard. I mean really? A few years ago being clean shaven was the nrm now everybody has to be hairy if they want to get laid. Ughh the gay world keeps getting more annoying with time. If you look at their friend lists, it's full with dudes that all look alike. lol That's why I will never take anyone looking for "committed" and "monogamous relationships" hat are "down-to-earth" seriously. In the end, every gay man will see you as a possible mate and will want to fuck your brains out. They just use "monogamy" and "just friends" to hide that. Life is too short. I don't have time for this shit.
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    Aug 21, 2014 4:47 PM GMT
    metta8 saidWith the exception of hookup apps, I don't see it being that different than straight people. Look at how difficult it is for them to have a long term healthy relationship.


    This says it all.

    /thread.
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    Aug 21, 2014 5:17 PM GMT
    It's just sex everywhere. I go into this LGBT place in my city and I see condoms everywhere, a stack of magazines with a shirtless muscular man on the cover and I think "Why? This is so unnecessary." Then I realize that sex sells and I start thinking the world is stupid.

    If I could take a pill and become asexual I'd take it. Who needs this shit?
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    Aug 21, 2014 5:54 PM GMT
    Ravensong saidIt's just sex everywhere. I go into this LGBT place in my city and I see condoms everywhere, a stack of magazines with a shirtless muscular man on the cover and I think "Why? This is so unnecessary." Then I realize that sex sells and I start thinking the world is stupid.

    If I could take a pill and become asexual I'd take it. Who needs this shit?


    Ughh I want that pill too.
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    Aug 21, 2014 5:57 PM GMT
    silver_phoenix said
    metta8 saidWith the exception of hookup apps, I don't see it being that different than straight people. Look at how difficult it is for them to have a long term healthy relationship.


    Stop kidding yourself and face reality ( another trait commonly missing in gay men ).


    Exactly. Self-delusion has to be one of the most salient traits of gay men in the U.S. I think that the struggles and loneliness of being gay for so many men is just too difficult to look at head-on, so it is just denied with facile fantasies about how everyone is the "just the same."
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    Aug 21, 2014 6:07 PM GMT
    Sydneyrugbyjock73 saidThe 'gay scene' comes in many forms in both the real and virtual world. The common thread is sexually motivated so does this mean that we will ever see a time that same sex attracted men will view being gay as being hyper sexual as the norm


    I doubt it. It sells vids and mags. We do have some interpersonal issues to contend with, however...

    http://www.succeedsocially.com/gaylesbian
  • metta

    Posts: 39075

    Aug 21, 2014 6:14 PM GMT
    silver_phoenix said
    metta8 saidWith the exception of hookup apps, I don't see it being that different than straight people. Look at how difficult it is for them to have a long term healthy relationship.


    Stop kidding yourself and face reality ( another trait commonly missing in gay men ).


    Are you trying to tell me that straight men do not sexualize women as much as gay men sexualize other gay men? There is a large restaurant chain called Hooters. And my straight women friends are always sexualizing men. It goes all directions. It is part of human sexuality.

    There are a lot of gay couples out there...many with children and that trend has been growing as more people see it as an option for them.
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    Aug 21, 2014 6:21 PM GMT
    metta8 said
    silver_phoenix said
    metta8 saidWith the exception of hookup apps, I don't see it being that different than straight people. Look at how difficult it is for them to have a long term healthy relationship.


    Stop kidding yourself and face reality ( another trait commonly missing in gay men ).


    Are you trying to tell me that straight men do not sexualize women as much as gay men sexualize other gay men? There is a large restaurant chain called Hooters. And my straight women friends are always sexualizing men. It goes all directions. It is part of human sexuality.


    Exactly. I don't get this whole slut shaming thing. Every gender and orientation does it.
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    Aug 21, 2014 6:24 PM GMT
    metta8 said
    silver_phoenix said
    metta8 saidWith the exception of hookup apps, I don't see it being that different than straight people. Look at how difficult it is for them to have a long term healthy relationship.


    Stop kidding yourself and face reality ( another trait commonly missing in gay men ).


    Are you trying to tell me that straight men do not sexualize women as much as gay men sexualize other gay men? There is a large restaurant chain called Hooters. And my straight women friends are always sexualizing men. It goes all directions. It is part of human sexuality.

    There are a lot of gay couples out there...many with children and that trend has been growing as more people see it as an option for them.

    Gay men sexualize men more than straight men sexualize women imo. Just look at any Andrew Christian ad or video and compare it to, say Victoria's Secret. Both companies sexualize their models. However one emphasizes sexiness while the other sells pure smut.
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    Aug 21, 2014 6:24 PM GMT
    I don't think that the hookup culture is the only reason for gay men's problems to form LTRs. Coming out as adults plays a part, not having any role models, too. Lots of shame and guilt to overcome first don't help either. Hostilities from outside and inside mess things up too.

    Also, while you may not want to have sex with every gay man out there, every gay man out there is potential competition for the ones you do want to have sex with.

    I'd suggest to focus on making lots of friends first, that is way more important than having a boyfriend.
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    Aug 21, 2014 6:27 PM GMT
    Ravensong said
    metta8 said
    silver_phoenix said
    metta8 saidWith the exception of hookup apps, I don't see it being that different than straight people. Look at how difficult it is for them to have a long term healthy relationship.


    Stop kidding yourself and face reality ( another trait commonly missing in gay men ).


    Are you trying to tell me that straight men do not sexualize women as much as gay men sexualize other gay men? There is a large restaurant chain called Hooters. And my straight women friends are always sexualizing men. It goes all directions. It is part of human sexuality.

    There are a lot of gay couples out there...many with children and that trend has been growing as more people see it as an option for them.

    Gay men sexualize men more than straight men sexualize women imo. Just look at any Andrew Christian ad or video and compare it to, say Victoria's Secret. Both companies sexualize their models. However one emphasizes sexiness while the other sells pure smut.


    I think they're on par with each other . icon_lol.gif
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Aug 21, 2014 6:29 PM GMT
    "What do you think?"

    I think people who make these kinds of generalized statements are kidding themselves. Most of my rl gay friends have about the same luck with relationships as straight people... Many of them are in LTRs right now.

    I think living in a state with legal gay marriage makes a huge difference, because there are so many married couples that come out the woodwork.
  • HottJoe

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    Aug 21, 2014 6:30 PM GMT
    Why would anyone want to become asexual??? That would be like cutting your tongue out so you don't have to taste food.icon_confused.gif
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    Aug 21, 2014 6:34 PM GMT
    HottJoe said"What do you think?"

    I think people who make these kinds of generalized statements are kidding themselves. Most of my rl gay friends have about the same luck with relationships as straight people... Many of them are in LTRs right now.

    I think living in a state with legal gay marriage makes a huge difference, because there are so many married couples that come out the woodwork.



    I think it's because gay men on the internet are sexually frustrated. IRL, a few of my LGBT friends rarely whine about being single.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4432

    Aug 21, 2014 6:39 PM GMT
    I think it is sad that so many gay men are so unsuccessful at creating healthy environment for themselves that they constantly need to bitch about how bad gay men are. And the community. The only thing that settles sexuality down in the straight world, which I've lived in my entire life, is kids and work. And even then, guys still are constantly thinking about sex. Women, too. Just listen to the conversations at the gym. Especially if they think you are straight. And in my circle of friends, healthy, intimate relationships are the norm. If it isn't in your's, maybe it is you.
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    Aug 21, 2014 6:43 PM GMT
    Destinharbor saidI think it is sad that so many gay men are so unsuccessful at creating healthy environment for themselves that they constantly need to bitch about how bad gay men are. And the community. The only thing that settles sexuality down in the straight world, which I've lived in my entire life, is kids and work. And even then, guys still are constantly thinking about sex. Women, too. Just listen to the conversations at the gym. Especially if they think you are straight. And in my circle of friends, healthy, intimate relationships are the norm. If it isn't in your's, maybe it is you.


    Exactly. Take marriage and parenthood aside, straight people are as horny as the rest of us.
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    Aug 21, 2014 6:44 PM GMT
    kevex said
    Destinharbor saidI think it is sad that so many gay men are so unsuccessful at creating healthy environment for themselves that they constantly need to bitch about how bad gay men are. And the community. The only thing that settles sexuality down in the straight world, which I've lived in my entire life, is kids and work. And even then, guys still are constantly thinking about sex. Women, too. Just listen to the conversations at the gym. Especially if they think you are straight. And in my circle of friends, healthy, intimate relationships are the norm. If it isn't in your's, maybe it is you.


    Exactly. Take marriage and parenthood aside, straight people are as horny as the rest of us.

    But they don't prowl around as much as gay men do because they're tied down by marriage and parenthood.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 21, 2014 6:45 PM GMT
    I thought children had been very sexualized for years. (At least since Britney.) But that's another thread.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 21, 2014 6:46 PM GMT
    Just because some of you guys know a few gay couples doesn't mean this is the norm.
  • HottJoe

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    Aug 21, 2014 6:58 PM GMT
    Ravensong saidJust because some of you guys know a few gay couples doesn't mean this is the norm.

    Let me reiterate. I don't ANY single gay men right now (except for my friend's boyfriend's brother, but even he's dating someone at the moment).