Study: People Think Same-Sex Couples Are Less 'In Love'

  • metta

    Posts: 39169

    Aug 23, 2014 7:42 AM GMT
    Study: People Think Same-Sex Couples Are Less 'In Love'

    Read more at http://www.bilerico.com/2014/08/study_people_think_same-sex_couples_are_less_in_lo.php
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    Aug 23, 2014 12:57 PM GMT
    It took a study to figure that out?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 23, 2014 2:30 PM GMT
    I was married to women twice. Conforming to what my parents, society, and my Army career expected. Then I married a gay guy (marriage in name only, it not being legal for gays)

    Only then did I finally discover what love is. I was MORE in love with a man than I'd ever been with women. I know the general public can't understand that. But that's the truth.
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    Aug 23, 2014 4:45 PM GMT
    People, in general, are stoopid.
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    Aug 23, 2014 6:18 PM GMT
    watever
  • FRE0

    Posts: 4865

    Aug 23, 2014 6:19 PM GMT
    As the article pointed out, there are important implications for action. Society would be more likely to respect same-sex couples if they were perceived to be just as much in love as opposite-sex couples are. Now that there is proof, rather than simply anecdotal evidence, that same-sex couples are perceived to be less in love, it is clear that it would be beneficial to change that perception.
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    Aug 23, 2014 6:45 PM GMT
    FRE0 saidAs the article pointed out, there are important implications for action. Society would be more likely to respect same-sex couples if they were perceived to be just as much in love as opposite-sex couples are. Now that there is proof, rather than simply anecdotal evidence, that same-sex couples are perceived to be less in love, it is clear that it would be beneficial to change that perception.

    My first partner contracted PML, a fatal AIDS disease. I was at his hospital bedside 14 hours a day, 7 days a week, feeding him myself, supervising every aspect of his care. The nurses and staff all said they had never seen married couples so devoted.

    Later I moved him to a nursing home. And spent every free hour of my day there, as well. I showed the staff how to feed him since some days I had to be at our attorneys, because he resisted eating, and you had to know the trick. I refused to let him waste away, which is common with PML.

    The nursing home staff said the same thing about me as the hospital staff did, being equally surprised that a gay couple would be so devoted. I guess they assume we're all fuck buddies, and nothing more. Maybe these were examples of the contradictory proof you suggest, to change that perception.

    Because the reality is quite a bit more. In fact, given the societal objections to our unions, the hurdles we must overcome, the exceptional nature of them, I can believe that our gay marriages are even STRONGER than straight ones. You partner with a gay guy because you WANT to, not because you must, or are expected to.
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    Aug 23, 2014 7:44 PM GMT
    article: "If you can somehow convince people that gay couples are just as loving, then it seems more likely that the movement will gain more support."

    Since when is the onus on us to correct their misperceptions. I have a better idea. How about we just tell str8 people to go fuck themselves.

    And, while we're at it, let's take back from the world all of our art, since they don't think we're capable of such deep feelings anyway.

    mona_lisa_by_leonardo_da_vinci_from_c2rm

    Just imagine what a shock for them to learn that their “our song” was really one of our songs.







    Str8 people inspired towards love by the artistic expressions of gay love? They are so queer!

    I say we leave them to their misperceptions. We'll work on ours, let them work on their own. Let them wallow in their own shit. Let them fix themselves if they are able or let them drown in their own shit if they are not. I am so tired of their hegemonic shit.
  • madsexy

    Posts: 4843

    Aug 23, 2014 8:14 PM GMT
    What's absurd is from the article:

    Doan pointed out that the average person usually has "different images in mind" for same-sex couples and straight couples. For example, they're a lot more likely to presume a romantic straight couple is married than a romantic gay or lesbian one (an infuriating double standard that I've written about at length). But by controlling for that disparity, Doan was able to determine that the differences in how "in love" couples are perceived to be are due to their sexual orientation rather than other factors like presumed marital status.

    I agree it needn't have taken a study to demonstrate this. There's a general perception by heterosexual people - and many of US too - that homosexual love is different - that drivers toward being mated and monogamy are different. I also agree we shouldn't work to change heteros' perceptions - we should work to attain equality. THEN we'll be seen as far more similar than while we have to act unnaturally either to conform or to act out to achieve our freedoms.

  • jaroslav123

    Posts: 600

    Aug 23, 2014 8:20 PM GMT
    Well now there's evidence to prove something I've been aware of for years. I can now use this in arguments. Yay.
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    Aug 23, 2014 8:22 PM GMT
    straights try to conform a bit within marriage and kids. That's why it seems like straight people do fal in love.
  • jaroslav123

    Posts: 600

    Aug 23, 2014 8:50 PM GMT
    Art_Deco said
    FRE0 saidAs the article pointed out, there are important implications for action. Society would be more likely to respect same-sex couples if they were perceived to be just as much in love as opposite-sex couples are. Now that there is proof, rather than simply anecdotal evidence, that same-sex couples are perceived to be less in love, it is clear that it would be beneficial to change that perception.

    My first partner contracted PML, a fatal AIDS disease. I was at his hospital bedside 14 hours a day, 7 days a week, feeding him myself, supervising every aspect of his care. The nurses and staff all said they had never seen married couples so devoted.

    Later I moved him to a nursing home. And spent every free hour of my day there, as well. I showed the staff how to feed him since some days I had to be at our attorneys, because he resisted eating, and you had to know the trick. I refused to let him waste away, which is common with PML.

    The nursing home staff said the same thing about me as the hospital staff did, being equally surprised that a gay couple would be so devoted. I guess they assume we're all fuck buddies, and nothing more. Maybe these were examples of the contradictory proof you suggest, to change that perception.

    Because the reality is quite a bit more. In fact, given the societal objections to our unions, the hurdles we must overcome, the exceptional nature of them, I can believe that our gay marriages are even STRONGER than straight ones. You partner with a gay guy because you WANT to, not because you must, or are expected to.


    Think I just welled up.
    Adorable. icon_redface.gif
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    Aug 23, 2014 9:06 PM GMT
    Not surprising or necessarily unjustified, given how gays generally are much more conflicted about monogomay, which is considered the gold standard among heterosexuals.
  • tazzari

    Posts: 2942

    Aug 23, 2014 11:46 PM GMT
    sf_swimmer saidNot surprising or necessarily unjustified, given how gays generally are much more conflicted about monogomay, which is considered the gold standard among heterosexuals.


    "Considered"is perhaps the key word, given the rate of divorce, non-married couples, and general pre-marriage playing around. Then add in wife-beating, child abuse...
  • FRE0

    Posts: 4865

    Aug 24, 2014 12:23 AM GMT
    theantijock saidarticle: "If you can somehow convince people that gay couples are just as loving, then it seems more likely that the movement will gain more support."

    Since when is the onus on us to correct their misperceptions. I have a better idea. How about we just tell str8 people to go fuck themselves.

    And, while we're at it, let's take back from the world all of our art, since they don't think we're capable of such deep feelings anyway.

    mona_lisa_by_leonardo_da_vinci_from_c2rm

    Just imagine what a shock for them to learn that their “our song” was really one of our songs.







    Str8 people inspired towards love by the artistic expressions of gay love? They are so queer!

    I say we leave them to their misperceptions. We'll work on ours, let them work on their own. Let them wallow in their own shit. Let them fix themselves if they are able or let them drown in their own shit if they are not. I am so tired of their hegemonic shit.


    I strongly disagree.

    Their attitudes affect the quality of our lives. We do not live in complete isolation from them. Therefore, by working towards changing their attitudes, we can improve the quality of our lives.
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    Aug 24, 2014 1:28 AM GMT
    jaroslav123 said
    Think I just welled up.
    Adorable. icon_redface.gif

    Thanks. But yah know, all gay couples of my acquaintance are just the same. Absolutely devoted to each other.

    But one time I faltered. I wrote about this here before.

    He was in the hospital, and I'd already been told he was terminal. It was January in Fargo, North Dakota, and I'd drive to the hospital before dawn, and I didn't go home until near midnight.

    I hadn't yet gotten an emergency court order making me his legal guardian, (because we had procrastinated about having documents drawn, and now it was too late with him in dementia), the hospital beginning to press me about my status.

    And one night around 12 as I drove away, when it was about 10 degrees below zero, it hit me: you can just leave him here and not return. You don't have any legal responsibility.

    He may be dying, but in the eyes of the law in North Dakota, he's just my roommate. I have no obligation, I can just walk away. He can be the hospital's problem. I just brought him in.

    To this day I'm ashamed that thought ever crossed my mind. And of course I didn't leave him, but stayed with him, put him into a home, when the hospital said as a terminal patient he had to leave. Where he died in my arms 5 weeks later.

    He was my husband, not legally but at least in my mind. If that's not love I don't know what is.
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    Aug 24, 2014 2:05 AM GMT
    FRE0 said

    I strongly disagree.

    Their attitudes affect the quality of our lives. We do not live in complete isolation from them. Therefore, by working towards changing their attitudes, we can improve the quality of our lives.


    As opposed to disagree or as opposed to agree? Stop trying to confuse me.

    Strongly huh? Not a problem. I don't give a rat's ass what anyone thinks of my opinion so we're good on that.

    My nephew came into the living room one night when he was a little kid and told an off-colored, colored joke he thought funny. I didn't say anything, though he probably read disapproval on my face by that dirty look I shot. My brother said something to his kid. He said "we don't want to hear that." That's all he said, that's all it took.

    In other words, you're welcomed to be a stupid asshole in life if that's what you want to be. It is, after all, your life. But you're not going to be a stupid asshole around us. That's our life and you are not welcomed to ruin it.

    We're not controlling who you are, we're not controlling how strongly you want to disagree. We're not controlling your opinion of us or what you think you feel. We don't give a rat's ass about any of that. That's your business and yours alone. We don't have to live in your shit. You do.

    So while the kid might learn to change his attitude about telling racial jokes on his own, while he might tell them among his friends who maybe are telling them too, he learns, all on his own, that we don't do that in our lives.

    My brother and I were raised by humanists, not by people who try to live vicariously though their children. My parents exposed us to a variety of thought, but never even told us their beliefs or even their politics when we were growing up. They left for us to develop as we figured out to do on our own. Maybe with some guidance, but not with instruction. But even an existentialist teaches simply by example. What we can't do is learn for someone by trying to live their life for them. Their life is sovereign as is ours. We're not out to influence them. We're just living our lives. Let them decide how they want to live theirs. That's sort of what freedom is all about.
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    Aug 24, 2014 3:36 AM GMT
    ^^^
    So rather than people imposing their views upon others you respond by imposing your views upon them. Whether implicitly or explicitly, every time you step out your door and into the world, you make a mark.

    After centuries of oppression, it seems only natural that we use the opportunities our new-found legal rights have afforded us to make our opinions heard, in no uncertain terms.

    I don't buy this "oh, I wouldn't wish to intrude upon yer right to be oblivious to anything going on...." Bullshit. No one gave us our rights by our remaining silent and "hoping" things might someday change for us for the better.
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    Aug 26, 2014 3:16 AM GMT
    Yes, because the >50% divorce rate among straight couples shows that they are way more in love then we are. icon_razz.gif