Think I just welled up.
Thanks. But yah know, all gay couples of my acquaintance are just the same. Absolutely devoted to each other.
But one time I faltered. I wrote about this here before.
He was in the hospital, and I'd already been told he was terminal. It was January in Fargo, North Dakota, and I'd drive to the hospital before dawn, and I didn't go home until near midnight.
I hadn't yet gotten an emergency court order making me his legal guardian, (because we had procrastinated about having documents drawn, and now it was too late with him in dementia), the hospital beginning to press me about my status.
And one night around 12 as I drove away, when it was about 10 degrees below zero, it hit me: you can just leave him here and not return. You don't have any legal responsibility.
He may be dying, but in the eyes of the law in North Dakota, he's just my roommate. I have no obligation, I can just walk away. He can be the hospital's problem. I just brought him in.
To this day I'm ashamed that thought ever crossed my mind. And of course I didn't leave him, but stayed with him, put him into a home, when the hospital said as a terminal patient he had to leave. Where he died in my arms 5 weeks later.
He was my husband, not legally but at least in my mind. If that's not love I don't know what is.