Fooling around with your best mate: a good idea?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 24, 2014 11:14 AM GMT
    I've got one really good friend at the moment where we are on the same page with everything (important) and I look forward to seeing him so much.

    We're just friends and he would never admit he was gay or bi. But I get the feeling that if I tried something he'd go along with me.

    Would that be the worst thing in the world and totally ruin our friendship? Or could it take us further and be something special? Ugh!

    Surely some of you guys must have been down this road already.
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    Aug 24, 2014 12:04 PM GMT
    NO!!
  • PRDGUY

    Posts: 641

    Aug 24, 2014 12:16 PM GMT
    yes I'm definitely been down this. My best friend saw some pictures on my computer as he was working onit which led me to explain the Kinsey scale end my bisexuality. He decided that he wanted to try it just once. then he want to try it again and the third time. he has moved away after 8 years of having the best suck and fuck but in the world. I look forward to him coming home to visit his mom in which she actually spends more time with me. I may be the rare case however it has strengthened our bond. but I don't think so as a Kappa Alpha I see it everyday in our fraternity brothers and their willingness to explore their bisexual side.
    best bet would be to have him discover some pictures or toys to open up the conversation. every year it seems more and more guys are willing to Explore new things especially in the sexual realm
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Aug 24, 2014 1:07 PM GMT
    PRDGUY saidyes I'm definitely been down this. My best friend saw some pictures on my computer as he was working onit which led me to explain the Kinsey scale end my bisexuality. He decided that he wanted to try it just once. then he want to try it again and the third time. he has moved away after 8 years of having the best suck and fuck but in the world. I look forward to him coming home to visit his mom in which she actually spends more time with me. I may be the rare case however it has strengthened our bond. but I don't think so as a Kappa Alpha I see it everyday in our fraternity brothers and their willingness to explore their bisexual side.
    best bet would be to have him discover some pictures or toys to open up the conversation. every year it seems more and more guys are willing to Explore new things especially in the sexual realm


    Oh, one can dream!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 24, 2014 1:55 PM GMT
    ^^ that sounds like a fictional story ^^^

    NOT A GOOD IDEA, especially if your friend is still figuring out his sexuality or experimenting. it will change everything, and bring up new thoughts/emotions that neither of you can anticipate or deal with (especially for the closeted one).
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Aug 24, 2014 3:07 PM GMT
    Worst idea ever. Leave it alone.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 875

    Aug 24, 2014 3:16 PM GMT
    The things largely depend on your social and cultural environment.

    If you and your friend take yourselves and your sex very seriously, you'll be running a very high risk that the things may go wrong.

    If you come from a very liberal environment, and see sex as something that is natural, happens, and no one sweats it afterwards, then go for it.

    I have had sex with some of my close college buddies. No one has made any issue out of this.

    One particular dude said, fine, he tried it. It was not his thing.

    Another guy said, he was not going to make part of his lifestyle, but yeah, if the occasion presented itself, he would not miss it.

    It is simply sex. Nothing to bang your head against the wall for.

    SC
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 24, 2014 3:56 PM GMT
    Don't do it.
    You'll both be nervous for different reasons. The sex will be marginal at best, and it WILL get weird.

    Better to stay friends and leave it alone.

    If you want to open up sexually and sexuality-wise with him., do it in words. That has a much better chance of bringing you closer... as friends

    Speaking from experience here! Just.... Don't!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 24, 2014 4:08 PM GMT
    tmac saidNO!!

    ^THIS
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 24, 2014 4:46 PM GMT
    At 16 you could have gotten drunk together and fooled around only to go into denial in the morning, nothing said, nothing lost.

    At 40, you owe a bit more conscientiousness to the circumstance.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 24, 2014 5:41 PM GMT
    I lost a couple of good buds back in my undergrad days ....... thinking I could fool around with straight guys who were good friends. I stupidly thought I was hot enough to 'turn' them or at least make them 'bi'. Guess what? Crashed & burned. Wish I'd had more sense back then!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 24, 2014 6:54 PM GMT
    Sorry to piggyback on this post, but I was literally just logging in to post an extremely similar question:

    So this guy I know through friends and myself have actually become great friends, via text/phone/facebook/etc. He says he is 100% straight, and I am a bit cocky and never hit on anyone - especially my straight friends. However, I've always told him how attractive he is and that if he ever decides he is coming out of the closet, I call dibs. He always welcomes my compliments, and is flirty back with me... never thought anything of it.

    Last night, while tipsy and texting back and forth, nude pics were brought up. I was messing with him telling him he knows he wants to send me some... then he sent one with his cock hard, showing through his undies... I sent back a selfie of me naked (edited out my hard dick), he followed with a fully erect live one, full on out of the underwear, laying on his bed.

    He said, "I can't believe I'm doing this, you better send some pics of hot chicks back. That will be our deal, I'll send pics if you send me chicks back, I don't care if you google them" I sent him a couple of myself back, instead, and he definitely didn't complain. He just said, "just don't get weird, I want to stay best bros."

    So... my question to you all is - Gay? Interested in me? Or do you think he's just curious/enjoys the attention. He lives across the country, currently, and is talking about coming to visit, as long as I "have a hot chick for him and I don't try anything." lol.

    Thoughts???
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 24, 2014 6:56 PM GMT
    Also, it's not like we are teens. I am 28, he is 29. (in case that makes a difference)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 24, 2014 7:57 PM GMT
    Why do gay men always seem to have this fantasy of getting or doing their hot, straight "friend"?

    It is a BAD idea to purposely hit on a known straight guy and expect that he is going to toss his entire orientation to the wind because it's "you" seducing him.icon_rolleyes.gif...BullShit!

    How would you react to having your best girlfriend seduce you, purposely strip down and put her muff on your face or force your cock into her pussy?...really?
    Not sure the friendship would survive too many of these episodes....

    Respect their "straightness" as much as you would expect them to respect your orientation. Really. If they are sending you signals of interest or curiosity....be adult about it and have an open discussion on the possibilities...if they are sincerely interested and you are too...then it is 2 consenting adults trying something new.

    It is easier to leave it alone and keep the friendship....because friendships are tough to make and keep....sex can be had on any day of the week.....never turn a friend into a one night stand, hook up....although I have made several GREAT friends from hook ups.
    Just remember that sex changes EVERYTHING in a relationship.....I don't know why...but common experience says it does....be careful and be smart.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 24, 2014 8:44 PM GMT
    If your friend doesn't already know you're gay and then you just randomly invite/try to coax him into a sexual situation then it's gonna end in disaster. Dude can't even admit his sexual standpoint so that right there should tell you "no". Stop trying to covert your straight friend.

    Why the fuck are so many dudes willing to ruin a perfectly good friendship just for sex?
  • OutdoorAdvent...

    Posts: 361

    Aug 24, 2014 9:11 PM GMT
    The obvious question, for me, is...are you out to him?
    If so, I'd say the ball is in his court.
    If not, from my perspective, that would be a good way to start. I'd guess you and he already converse in a comfortable, relaxed way, which suggests that he's already aware of your sexual orientation.
  • rac727

    Posts: 196

    Aug 24, 2014 9:37 PM GMT
    Hot! and would probably be fun honesty
    but 95% of the time thats a bad idea it will probably made your friendship REALLY awkward some can get past the awkwardness some can't depends on the people but kinda risky towards your friendship I wouldn't do it icon_confused.gif
  • FRE0

    Posts: 4865

    Aug 24, 2014 11:40 PM GMT
    You have nothing to gain and much to lose. It is impossible to predict the outcome, but the likelihood of a good outcome is too small to be worth the risk of losing a good friendship.

    I personally know of one case where that was done. The guy who succeeded in having sex with a non-gay friend told everyone about it afterward, apparently not knowing that a gentleman never tells. In addition to damaging his friendship, he lost the respect of other friends too.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 24, 2014 11:45 PM GMT
    Yep, been there before.


    Get straight with you head and decide which guy is for you.

    Chances are that you will make the right decision

    Tommy
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 25, 2014 1:42 AM GMT
    not a good idea, sex changes a friendship. Unless you want awkward tension afterwards.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 25, 2014 1:49 AM GMT
    If you need to think about it....no

    If it happens naturally, you will suddenly realise that it is happening.....
  • Behram

    Posts: 32

    Aug 25, 2014 3:39 AM GMT
    I lost my extremely good friend due to my foolishness. It was 13 years ago when we were 20. I tried everything but he never spoke with me again. I still feel very bad it pains a lot whenever I remember him I wish I would not have done that icon_sad.gif

    Keep the rare gem called friend
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 25, 2014 4:28 AM GMT
    I'm going for it with my guy... I'm pretty sure he's just waiting to come out of closet and he would be a great bf. If it ends in disaster, at least I gave it a shot! Byeeeeeeeeeeeee
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 25, 2014 4:43 AM GMT
    I only have sex with friends. I would have sex with what? An enemy? A total stranger? Ok, well I have had sex with a total stranger. Never mind.

    Just make sure your friend has a healthy attitude about sex. And by all means prime the pump with alcohol - copious amounts. That way you two can just blame it on the alcohol and agree to never speak of it again.
  • mladri

    Posts: 264

    Aug 25, 2014 9:03 AM GMT
    That's a bad idea!