Guy cancelled date

  • Onemoresummer

    Posts: 106

    Aug 31, 2014 2:00 PM GMT
    I was meant to have a date tonight with a guy I hooked up with last week.
    I texted him to confirm but he said he has no money and wanted to know if we could do it another time.

    Anyways, he texted me today to see how my weekend went I just said had an awesome night clubbing etc
    He apologised for cancelling and said he for bad to which I replied "don't feel bad, no big deal deal, I have plans now anyway"
    He said after he cancelled he would see what days he has free this week but it's been 2 days since this and he hasn't actually given me a day, just general text chit chat.

    I'm not going to text him again unless he sets a date- thoughts?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 31, 2014 2:35 PM GMT
    Well if he cancelled that date because of money issue, it could be that he dare not ask you out on another date because of the same issue. Maybe he's too embarrassed to keep bringing up the $$ issue as it can make him feel cheap.

    At least he's still chitchatting with you. Why don't you invite him to go do something that doesn't cost much? That way you guys get to hang out, and it will not be financial burden for him.
  • Onemoresummer

    Posts: 106

    Aug 31, 2014 2:37 PM GMT
    I suggested we just make food here, so I've given him that option.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 31, 2014 2:41 PM GMT
    And he still turned that down?? Did he say why? icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 31, 2014 2:49 PM GMT
    Yeah let him text you with a date. But it sounds like he's not going to so you might as well go with your own plans.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 31, 2014 3:09 PM GMT
    He's not interested, or something is wrong (he can't see you or is not ready to).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 01, 2014 12:08 AM GMT
    Hooking up first rarely leads to dating.

  • Onemoresummer

    Posts: 106

    Sep 01, 2014 1:48 AM GMT
    One of his texts
    'Im keen tooicon_smile.gif. I'll figure out what days I'm free this week".

    And "just a bit worried about it until I get paid but cooking food at yours sounds awesome. That's more my style'.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Sep 01, 2014 1:52 AM GMT
    Sadly, if he truly doesn't have any extra money, this isn't going to work.
    Don't put yourself in a position where you always end up paying for everything for both of you.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Sep 01, 2014 1:57 AM GMT
    Onemoresummer saidOne of his texts
    'Im keen tooicon_smile.gif. I'll figure out what days I'm free this week".

    And "just a bit worried about it until I get paid but cooking food at yours sounds awesome. That's more my style'.



    This sounds good, but look at this situation realistically.
    It looks as if he won't ever have extra money to do anything with you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 01, 2014 2:28 AM GMT
    sf_swimmer saidHooking up first rarely leads to dating.



    It'll be a year September 26th since I first hooked up with my man.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 01, 2014 2:35 AM GMT
    sf_swimmer saidHooking up first rarely leads to dating.



    +1
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 01, 2014 2:42 AM GMT
    Webster666 said
    Onemoresummer saidOne of his texts
    'Im keen tooicon_smile.gif. I'll figure out what days I'm free this week".

    And "just a bit worried about it until I get paid but cooking food at yours sounds awesome. That's more my style'.



    This sounds good, but look at this situation realistically.
    It looks as if he won't ever have extra money to do anything with you.


    Thats not always true what if something just came up recently? I just shelled out over $4000 in the past week and a half and am completely broke right now. Doesn't mean I always will be just kinda got fucked over the past few weeks.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Sep 01, 2014 4:00 AM GMT
    Stop the texts..wait him out..if a week goes out without a message...Move on.
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    Sep 01, 2014 4:06 AM GMT
    mybud saidStop the texts..wait him out..if a week goes out without a message...Move on.

    I'd say move on NOW. This guy is a flake. There are better out there, and the OP is young & attractive. Enough time wasted on this dead-end.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 01, 2014 4:46 AM GMT
    sf_swimmer saidHooking up first rarely leads to dating.



    rarely, but there are times when it could lead to them wanting more. I can vouch from experience.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Sep 01, 2014 6:47 AM GMT
    MrAesthetic said
    Webster666 said
    Onemoresummer saidOne of his texts
    'Im keen tooicon_smile.gif. I'll figure out what days I'm free this week".

    And "just a bit worried about it until I get paid but cooking food at yours sounds awesome. That's more my style'.



    This sounds good, but look at this situation realistically.
    It looks as if he won't ever have extra money to do anything with you.


    Thats not always true what if something just came up recently? I just shelled out over $4000 in the past week and a half and am completely broke right now. Doesn't mean I always will be just kinda got fucked over the past few weeks.



    There's a big difference between getting hit with an unusual major expense that puts a crimp in your budget, and always having a tight budget.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 01, 2014 11:52 AM GMT
    You guys hooked up then date? Lol, ok, he may not be serious about you now. Move on date someone new, let him come to you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 01, 2014 12:07 PM GMT
    He must be blind icon_surprised.gif
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 875

    Sep 01, 2014 12:41 PM GMT
    It is hard to believe that someone who plans on dating (at least as in "sort of") does not have enough money for a soda or a shot of espresso at the neighboring Bucks?

    I doubt that the OP insisted on going out in grand style with an 8 course dinner at the Ritz:lolicon_confused.gif

    I'd move on...

    SC

  • Onemoresummer

    Posts: 106

    Sep 01, 2014 3:05 PM GMT
    I'm going to give it until Friday.
    If I hear nothing, he gets deleted from Facebook.

    Holding out hope as i found him REALLY cute.
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    Sep 01, 2014 5:07 PM GMT
    Who cares if he doesnt have money right now. Its amusing based off a guy being flakey and telling the trurh on.the first text that hes strapped almost e eryone has assumed he has no money.
    Ill lay dollars to donuts theres more going on than hes broke.
    Op, do u want to persue him becouse he truly intreasts u or are u intreasted becouse hes elusive?
    There are pleanty of couples who are long term and happy with a finantial onequity involved. Doesnt mean a guy is a deadbeat and doesnt take care of his shit and bring pleanty to the table without a large bankroll.
    Again the real issue is why does he seem to be dodging the date? Could it be something said in passing that is scaring him off?
    Who knows?
    Either ask for another date. If he says no in so many words mpve on. Dont villify him, move on.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 01, 2014 5:23 PM GMT
    People who are like ditch him because he might not have enough disposable income are a bit shallow and materialistic because to my mind I can have fun when I'm flush and when I'm skint.

    I have friends who earn way more than me and I have friends who earn way less than me and I enjoy their company equally. If I'm with a friend who earns minimum wage I will go to cheaper restaurants, buy one get one free bars or just watch a film at my place. I don't see how income is a barrier to compatability.

    If I want the finer things in life I will go out and earn those things I won't expect a partner to be flush enough to support me in those ambitions.
  • FRE0

    Posts: 4865

    Sep 01, 2014 7:27 PM GMT
    It is too easy to jump to conclusions on the basis of inadequate information. I suggest giving people plenty of rope to see what happens. Either they will hang themselves or show that they are honest and reasonable.
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    Sep 01, 2014 9:50 PM GMT
    Just this past Monday I was in a restaurant eating and this guy named Michael starts chatting with me. He tells me a lot of info about himself and how he is just out of the Marines due to damage from an IED and just arrived to So Cal from Tennessee. He tells me he's gay among other things and tell me he wants to take me out to dinner on Wednesday. As we are parting ways he tells me to give him a call in a few hours to check in with him since where we met is not the nicest neighborhood. Later I text him and say it was good meeting him. No response. So I call and his phone rings with no voicemail. Wednesday rolls around and still no word from him. I decided to call him yesterday and his phone's been disconnected.