depression help

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 02, 2014 1:40 AM GMT
    Hey guys just turned 36 . Ive been going through a huge depression even though I dont want to acknowledge it. The only job I can find is a part time overnight 8.00/ hr job. its only 25 hrs a week. I am trying to pursue a dream but wo the money to pay my bills and tutition I cant get that done. Tonight i had to say no to an opportunity because I couldnt afford it . Time is ticking. i dont want to look back and regret . The only thing stopping me is money .nIf it wasnt for my new bf id prob be a wreck. Any advice on how to get through this.
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    Sep 02, 2014 2:00 PM GMT
    Sorry to hear this. My BF is quite poor and he has many problems(financial) which I know that he keeps to himself, not reveal them to me. I can support him, but didn't have the capacity and resources to support his whole family. So, I had never(and couldn't) asked how's his family doing and going through the difficulties.

    I often wonder how's he overcoming his difficulties and never get too depressed. He's spiritually a strong person; and I believe that's giving him the strength and support to withstand. Whenever he's depressed, he reads one of his spiritual books, sometimes for hours; and by the end of the day or the next day, he will be much better. I don't know if you're a believer or not; and I'm not asking you to be one. But if you are, keep your faith strong. It'll help you.

    Well, Atheist/theist, I suggest you to read biographies of some fascinating and incredible people, the strength and motivation that comes from reading their lives is priceless. I can recommend some great people if you're interested.

    That being said,
    Have you considered self employment? is that legal to start a small business without any legal documents? It's quite common here in India, at least half of population are below the poverty line. Many of the poor people are self employed, especially in the cities. I have no clue on how it works in America.

    Whatever your personal dreams are, I wish you all the best.
  • lvzhi

    Posts: 122

    Sep 03, 2014 3:14 PM GMT
    I didn't know some Americans are so poor.
  • Dystopia_

    Posts: 20

    Sep 03, 2014 8:31 PM GMT
    I'm going through the same thing but a younger age, and I know how you feel to a certain degree.

    There's nothing really anyone could write to you that can make you feel better right away. People will give you advice that you've probably already heard and know very well, and it still wouldn't make a difference. Do you know why? Because when you're depressed, there's a sort of twisted kind of 'comfort' that comes with it. It ties you up to a tiny comfort zone of repetitive thinking and contemplating wishing something would change. Anything you see/read/hear while you're depressed will sound the same, so here's what you need to do:

    1)You need to understand your fears. From an evolutionary psychology point of view, your body is just reacting to fear of not being able to survive. Your brain kicks in to lock down mode to help you focus on and solve your issues, blocking out normal functioning that might distract you from contemplation. So you need to know that depression is fear-based to a certain degree, no matter what life event (like not having enough money) triggered it. Ultimately, the root of the problem is you being afraid of not being 'successful' in what plans and dreams you had set out for yourself. Sit down and break down what you want/what scares you/worst case scenarios, face the truth instead of just letting it swirl in your subconscious. Which brings me to number 2.

    2) You need to find objectivity to your situation. A huge part of the depression cycle is getting stuck in the same pattern of feeling everything about you and your life is not going good. Try to step back, and think with a clear logical mind free from your own emotions. If your fear is with success and fulfilling dreams, remember that things are extremely subjective. The only one worrying about those things is you. The only one that will feel bad about them is you, so why are you doing this to yourself?

    3) Muster up some courage to fight what your own head is telling you. Sometimes talking or reading about someone who was in the same position as you can be inspiring, and can help you bring out some courage or will to get over your depression.

    4) Use your courage to consciously control what you do and how you think. Google exercises that are used in cognitive based therapy. Whenever you catch yourself thinking negatively, try to correct yourself and thinking of these thoughts from a different perspective. If there are situations where you feel your depression is preventing you from doing something, force yourself to do it. It's like sending your brain a signal that it needs to change its current thought process; and eventually the change does really happen.

    Sit down and give advice to yourself. What would your non-depressed self say to a friend in a similar situation? What things would you ask him to do that you ,yourself, are not doing right now? Write them down and get them done. Even if you're not successful after doing those things, you'll feel good enough about accomplishing something that you won't try to stand in your own way no longer.

    Well, that was long! Hope this helps...
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4913

    Sep 03, 2014 8:51 PM GMT
    Why can't you get a better job? Orlando is booming. What's your profession? What is going on with school?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 03, 2014 10:16 PM GMT
    Do what you really want to do, even if it means doing it for free for a nonprofit. This bolsters your resume with real world experience while you are "on the bench", it can equip you with newer higher value skills, and build professional network which might "tap you on the shoulder" for a dream job related opportunity.
  • conservativej...

    Posts: 2478

    Sep 03, 2014 11:11 PM GMT
    Some times it is best to just not comment. This is one of those times.

    Good luck.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2014 10:14 AM GMT
    Side hustle what u got to do never lose site about what u want and most importantly dont loose yourself 100 all the way to the grave
    Fuk dis corrupt foundation of civilisation