Are you too easy?

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    Jan 13, 2009 3:32 PM GMT
    I was talking to a straight friend of mine at work. Now I have to say that he is a beautiful man and the women at work swoon over him. He is married and has been for 20 years. I was asking him what about his wife made him settle down with her since he is such a ladies man.

    He explains that ever since he was 16 years old he has had woman literally come after him and throw themselves sexually at him. He says he rarely had to go after anyone. Even though he said he would sleep with alot of them to get off, he said they were "to easy" meaning he didnt even have to try.

    He met his wife and she didnt swoon over him and go gaga. He said it took him 5 months to get her to go out with him. He admitted that he likes the attn he gets from women and even gay men but he said he would rather have someone that didnt make it so "easy".

    What do you think or feel about guys that come onto you and want to sleep with you so easily? I know it would depend on if you just wanted a sex thing or more but It always makes me wonder who or what they have been doing before they were throwing themselves at me?

    Are you to easy? And are you put off by guys that make it to easy?
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    Jan 13, 2009 5:34 PM GMT
    I can't say from experience, but thinking on it perhaps there is an unconscious element to it.

    You know the saying 'you get what you pay for'? Well I believe there is a prevalent and deep belief that the harder something is to achieve or accomplish, the more worth it inherently has. Value is determined and found in the effort required to attain or accomplish, and if something is so easy to accomplish or attain, what is there to value?

    It isn't that simple in the matters of the heart, but I can see how it would have an effect.
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    Jan 14, 2009 12:18 AM GMT
    Good answer ..When i was single the date rule was if you went to bed on the first date they were easy. Thus not getting a 2nd date, unless i was bored and needed something we would meet again. icon_smile.gif
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    Jan 14, 2009 12:27 AM GMT
    Aw crap, this thread just outed me to myself as a slut
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    Jan 14, 2009 12:47 AM GMT
    Playing "hard to get" has been a tactic that women have used successfully with men for eons. How effective it is among gay men I don't know.

    I've seen it work with some of my gay friends, but for a few it led to their misery. The guy they wanted was someone who really didn't want them. He was hard to get because he truly didn't want to be "gotten."

    There's a fine line between persistence and obsession. Part of the art of love is knowing that difference.

    Personally, the degree of difficulty in romance does not motivate me either way. I either already want the guy, or I don't. His resistance does not make me want him more, but I will try harder, to a point.

    Yet there comes a time when I realize I have to cut my losses in the face of a doomed cause. Tragic perhaps, but my sadness doesn't alter the balance; he either likes me in turn, or he doesn't. Such is life, such is love.

    For my part, I have never deliberately played games with men. If he's the pursuer, and I like him, I let him know it. Why should I hide my feelings and play hard to get? I hate deception & deceit.

    I know lots about tactics; I taught the damn subject for over 20 years. In my private love life I play no games, I have no tactics. Either I like you, perhaps even love you, or I do not. We go to bed, or we don't. Is that so difficult?

    And I prefer other men to behave the same way.
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    Jan 14, 2009 2:29 AM GMT
    Hmm.. guys that come onto you and want to sleep with you so easily?

    I wish I had this problem. icon_lol.gif
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    Jan 14, 2009 2:43 AM GMT
    From my experience the more I pull back the more they want to follow. Unfortunately when I pull back it means I don't want them. I don't like wasting time beating around the bush as it were.
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    Jan 14, 2009 2:48 AM GMT
    there are two things (1) game playing which i don´t like and (2) some sort of "wait" before ramping up the relationship, which I do.

  • styrgan

    Posts: 2017

    Jan 14, 2009 3:13 AM GMT
    Lostboy76 saidthere are two things (1) game playing which i don´t like and (2) some sort of "wait" before ramping up the relationship, which I do.



    Hmmm.

    I think you can completely tell which types of guys each strategy is appropriate for.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2009 3:24 AM GMT
    Nothing is buzzkill to me like adoration, or insecurity. Totally wilts my lettuce.
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    Jan 14, 2009 3:35 AM GMT
    Jesus this is my pet peeve.
    It should read "are you TOO easy" not to easy.

    "To" is a preposition, introducing a noun ... went to the window; fell to the ground; travel to Paris; very occasionally an adv. ... come to;

    "Too" is an adv., meaning to a greater extent ... too large, too much, too loud; or extremely ... too kind; or also ... I'm coming too; or moreover ... we must consider, too, whether they should be invited.

    It is basic grade school english. icon_evil.gif
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    Jan 14, 2009 3:52 AM GMT
    mnjock2003 saidJesus this is my pet peeve.
    It should read "are you TOO easy" not to easy.


    Geez, watch you're problem!?

    Anyway, I could relate to what he goes for. I never get out of bed if a round-trip cab fare isn't provided for. icon_neutral.gif
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    Jan 14, 2009 3:56 AM GMT
    FBfugitive said

    Anyway, I could relate to what he goes for. I never get out of bed if a round-trip cab fare isn't provided for. icon_neutral.gif


    lol. It is certainly admirable to have standards..
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    Jan 14, 2009 4:04 AM GMT
    mnjock2003 saidJesus this is my pet peeve.
    It should read "are you TOO easy" not to easy.

    "To" is a preposition, introducing a noun ... went to the window; fell to the ground; travel to Paris; very occasionally an adv. ... come to;

    "Too" is an adv., meaning to a greater extent ... too large, too much, too loud; or extremely ... too kind; or also ... I'm coming too; or moreover ... we must consider, too, whether they should be invited.

    It is basic grade school english. icon_evil.gif


    A cop once told me: two ducks, to town, too far.

    He was hot but of course also an asshole.
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    Jan 14, 2009 4:11 AM GMT
    Buckwheet said

    A cop once told me: two ducks, to town, too far.

    He was hot but of course also an asshole.


    Well, thank God for assholes.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2009 4:16 AM GMT
    Anyone else find it ironic that an asshole is both a bad thing and a good thing?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2009 6:01 AM GMT
    if I like a guy I let him know but that doesn't mean he can have me, it means I like him... nothing more.

    I'm a whore in the sack, but I'm not available to just anyone and I wont be easily had, but you wont have to build me a house to get it.

    I gotta admit though, if the guy is interested in me, I really do like a good chase, its so much fun!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2009 8:09 PM GMT
    mnjock2003 saidJesus this is my pet peeve.
    It should read "are you TOO easy" not to easy.

    "To" is a preposition, introducing a noun ... went to the window; fell to the ground; travel to Paris; very occasionally an adv. ... come to;

    "Too" is an adv., meaning to a greater extent ... too large, too much, too loud; or extremely ... too kind; or also ... I'm coming too; or moreover ... we must consider, too, whether they should be invited.

    It is basic grade school english. icon_evil.gif



    there its TOO now are you fuckin happy now?? Oh wait did i spell that sentence to your approval? Jesus Christ....
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    Jan 14, 2009 8:15 PM GMT
    redbull said
    mnjock2003 saidJesus this is my pet peeve.
    It should read "are you TOO easy" not to easy.

    "To" is a preposition, introducing a noun ... went to the window; fell to the ground; travel to Paris; very occasionally an adv. ... come to;

    "Too" is an adv., meaning to a greater extent ... too large, too much, too loud; or extremely ... too kind; or also ... I'm coming too; or moreover ... we must consider, too, whether they should be invited.

    It is basic grade school english. icon_evil.gif



    there its TOO now are you fuckin happy now?? Oh wait did i spell that sentence to your approval? Jesus Christ....


    Just one more........you want to say *it's* in your sentence above - don't forget the apostrophe.
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    Jan 14, 2009 8:18 PM GMT
    I think someone should right a book "The Rules for Gay Men". Would answer so many of these forum questions
  • tas_515

    Posts: 133

    Jan 14, 2009 8:20 PM GMT
    mnjock2003 saidJesus this is my pet peeve.
    It should read "are you TOO easy" not to easy.

    "To" is a preposition, introducing a noun ... went to the window; fell to the ground; travel to Paris; very occasionally an adv. ... come to;

    "Too" is an adv., meaning to a greater extent ... too large, too much, too loud; or extremely ... too kind; or also ... I'm coming too; or moreover ... we must consider, too, whether they should be invited.

    It is basic grade school english. icon_evil.gif


    Grammar experts make me horny. icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2009 8:32 PM GMT
    if and when i'm interested in someone i definitely make them work for it. what i have to offer as a whole is a nice little package that i don't just let swing around for all the world to use!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2009 8:36 PM GMT
    I don't play hard to get but it's certainly hard to get what I want and when I want it.

    With that being said I don't think a person is necessarily easy if they have slept with someone on the first date. By saying that wouldn't you be judging yourself since in this case it takes two to have sex and clearly both parties wanted it. I always find it funny how people never judge themselves in situations like this.

    I wouldn't call the individual easy depending on the circumstances of the approach but then again that's just my opinion. I knwo if I have sex on a first date it's because I wanted to and nothing about that makes me easy. It just means I'm happy with the person or rather happy enough to sleep with them and if asnything happens afterwards then so be it I guess.

    (FYI...Never done a first date fling)
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    Jan 14, 2009 8:45 PM GMT
    i tend to be warm and inviting which i guess attracts unnecessarily forward attention but i'm turned off by availability. i want to work for a guy and feel like i've WON someone when i finally get a piece of his time. impossibly aloof isn't sexy but playfully coy is definitely a turn on.

    p.s. i make people work for me icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2009 8:53 PM GMT
    one of my girl friends says she always tells guys..."honey, you dont start of with this, you have to work your way up to it" haha I like that.