Is it wrong to categorically exclude people from your dating pool?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2014 12:04 AM GMT
    I'm a never say never type of guy, but I tend to avoid dating conservative gay men. I just don't see how it would work so it's a situation I don't really place myself in.

    Perhaps I should work on this. Maybe it's for the best. IDK, just thinking out loud.
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    Sep 04, 2014 12:23 AM GMT
    Is this for another term paper of yours? And you don't want to influence the results, so you won't reply?

    Already married/partnered people should be excluded.
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    Sep 04, 2014 12:35 AM GMT
    <---waiting for someone to bring up color. icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2014 12:43 AM GMT
    Erik101 said<---waiting for someone to bring up color. icon_lol.gif


    are you saying most cons wouldn't want to date a minority? icon_twisted.gif
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    Sep 04, 2014 12:58 AM GMT
    " I tend to avoid dating conservative gay men."

    Don't avoid them but ask questions.

    If he describes himself as conservative find out how he defines that.

    If he thinks of himself as a Republican he is a tortured personality type. Offer him your prayers but it would be best to walk away.
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    Sep 04, 2014 1:00 AM GMT
    No, as long as that's how you genuinely feel then it shows self-insight. Were I to start dating seriously again I would prefer conservative men. I find the gay-activist types grating and would probably never be able to get along with one.
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    Sep 04, 2014 1:02 AM GMT
    JackBoneTX said
    Erik101 said<---waiting for someone to bring up color. icon_lol.gif


    are you saying most cons wouldn't want to date a minority? icon_twisted.gif


    It depends on who is considered a minority when it comes to cons. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2014 3:53 AM GMT
    I tend to exclude guys that place themselves into categories.
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    Sep 04, 2014 3:55 AM GMT
    JRcrIqX.gif
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    Sep 04, 2014 4:01 AM GMT
    I like to think of Myself as pretty open to everyone, but truth be told...I ONLY date Men.

    icon_redface.gificon_redface.gificon_redface.gif
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Sep 04, 2014 4:07 AM GMT
    "Is it wrong to categorically exclude people from your dating pool?"

    No.

    No to Axe murders, drug addicts, ...

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    Sep 04, 2014 10:32 AM GMT
    I don't think there's any moral charge to it, but it doest seem like a very good strategy. Gay men are a pretty small percentage of the population, anyway. You start discounting significant numbers of gay men, and your dating pool becomes a dating puddle.
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    Sep 04, 2014 10:57 AM GMT
    You know if they are really conservative, you don't even have to worry about excluding them because they already won't put themselves out there for that kind of stuff.

    #becausethatsmelol
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    Sep 04, 2014 2:39 PM GMT
    I could never date someone who defined their political allegiance as being right wing simply because of all the cruel things tory governments have done recently and in the past. That said left wing rent a gobs don't do it for me either. I like a lefty but I would draw the line somewhere before Owen Jones lol
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    Sep 04, 2014 4:13 PM GMT
    sf_swimmer saidNo, as long as that's how you genuinely feel then it shows self-insight. Were I to start dating seriously again I would prefer conservative men. I find the gay-activist types grating and would probably never be able to get along with one.


    You got that right, friend. If I want to be preached to, I'll go to church. My experience has been that gay lefties are MUCH more preachy - and just plain offensive - than gay conservatives, or moderates, or libertarians, or greens, or ...
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    Sep 04, 2014 4:15 PM GMT
    Determinate said" I tend to avoid dating conservative gay men."

    Don't avoid them but ask questions.

    If he describes himself as conservative find out how he defines that.

    If he thinks of himself as a Republican he is a tortured personality type. Offer him your prayers but it would be best to walk away.


    See what I mean? Preachy!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2014 4:40 PM GMT
    You are perfectly within your right to date whomever you want and exclude whomever you want. You owe no one an explanation; however, since you are questioning yourself and your narrow minded way of thinking, you may want to reconsider your position.

    There are many household with disparate ideological leanings. The key is respect and tolerance for other's view points. I personally prefer to have discussions with those who don't agree with me or have a different view point. It makes for a more interesting evening of conversation. Often times a heated discussion turns on the passions and the heat is transferred to the bedroom!
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Sep 04, 2014 5:04 PM GMT
    MGINSD said
    Determinate said" I tend to avoid dating conservative gay men."

    Don't avoid them but ask questions.

    If he describes himself as conservative find out how he defines that.

    If he thinks of himself as a Republican he is a tortured personality type. Offer him your prayers but it would be best to walk away.


    See what I mean? Preachy!

    Ya, and white/hetero/religious America is under siege and being discriminated against...
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    Sep 04, 2014 5:09 PM GMT
    Destinharbor said
    MGINSD said
    Determinate said" I tend to avoid dating conservative gay men."

    Don't avoid them but ask questions.

    If he describes himself as conservative find out how he defines that.

    If he thinks of himself as a Republican he is a tortured personality type. Offer him your prayers but it would be best to walk away.


    See what I mean? Preachy!

    Ya, and white/hetero/religious America is under siege and being discriminated against...


    Thanks for reaffirming my point.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2014 5:10 PM GMT
    If your rejection of someone is based solely on the category and not on the uniqueness of the individual, then I would say yes, it is wrong. Of course, this still happens all too often.

    However, I don't think that it's wrong for people to have a picture of their ideal person that is based on various categories. How strongly they commit to those categories might affect their ability to find a good partner. A smart person would allow for some flexibility, because saying you won't date a person because of one quality often leads to some incorrect assumptions.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Sep 04, 2014 5:11 PM GMT
    Of course you can. You say conservative guys are excluded and I agree. I exclude uneducated guys. How about guys with poor hygiene? I can't stand long hair on a guy. The list goes on. You're theoretically looking for someone who is a good fit. You've made choices about who you are and want to be. It's totally logical you'd put that into the mix in deciding who to date. The opposite would be to just date anyone. That isn't a good strategy. Just be prepared to be surprised and open minded when the someone interesting comes along that you hadn't really expected. Everyone is so much more than what is obvious from a glance.
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    Sep 04, 2014 5:20 PM GMT
    This is like saying, 'Is it wrong that I don't eat broccoli'? Do you like broccoli? If not, then you exclude it from your choices. I don't know why you wouldn't do the same for dating. Nothing wrong with having preferences. Would you be willing to be in a relationship with someone you really don't like? Makes no sense. No discrimination here, it's a preference choice. Oh and btw, eat your broccoli, it's good for you! icon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gif
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Sep 04, 2014 5:23 PM GMT
    MGINSD said
    Destinharbor said
    MGINSD said
    Determinate said" I tend to avoid dating conservative gay men."

    Don't avoid them but ask questions.

    If he describes himself as conservative find out how he defines that.

    If he thinks of himself as a Republican he is a tortured personality type. Offer him your prayers but it would be best to walk away.


    See what I mean? Preachy!

    Ya, and white/hetero/religious America is under siege and being discriminated against...


    Thanks for reaffirming my point.

    Boo hoo. White old conservatives have it so hard.
  • fitartistsf

    Posts: 638

    Sep 04, 2014 7:22 PM GMT
    If I'm not physically attracted to him, why would I date him?
    Personality and intelligence ARE important, yes, but are secondary to the physical for me... Oh, he might have the same likes and dislikes, the same hobbies, etc., but if he is not in shape, the rest becomes immaterial... I'm not interested…
  • metta

    Posts: 39112

    Sep 04, 2014 8:48 PM GMT
    DEKIRUMAN saidI'm a never say never type of guy, but I tend to avoid dating conservative gay men. I just don't see how it would work so it's a situation I don't really place myself in.

    Perhaps I should work on this. Maybe it's for the best. IDK, just thinking out loud.



    That's nothing...for starters...

    I wont date anyone that has murdered someone, with the exception of euthanasia.

    I wont date anyone that is trying to kill me, even if his last name is Underwood.

    I wont date anyone that abuses animals.

    I wont date anyone that is a sociopath.

    I wont date anyone that is dishonest with me.

    I wont date anyone that does not have integrity.

    I wont date anyone that is constantly complaining.

    I wont date anyone that wants an open relationship.

    I wont date anyone that try's to put meat in my food.

    I wont date anyone that does not care about the environment.

    I wont date someone that is drunk all of the time.

    I wont date someone that smokes.

    I wont date someone that is addicted to drugs and not taking care of that problem.