So I'm finally meeting that guy..

  • Onemoresummer

    Posts: 106

    Sep 04, 2014 9:35 AM GMT
    Update from this post: http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/3900599/

    Messaged him.
    He has funds but he said work and study were leaving him with no free time and he didn't wanna screw me around but REALLY wanted to see me.

    Anyway, I said that I would make the hour trek out to him.

    I'm meeting him at his house on Sat afternoon and he said his housemates and him might have people over for drinks.

    Does this mean..
    I'm invited to this or am I meant to leave before this?
    Is this his idea of a date?

    He said he is hopeless at organising things (evidently).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2014 10:31 AM GMT
    Honestly, I wish you all the best.
    I keep getting a flakey vibe from what you've described of this guy so far.
    Maybe it's just me but I've always thought that if someone actually really wanted to see someone, they would make plans to make it happen, especially when it's a guy.
    Being busy isn't an excuse to be slack on the details, he wants to see you but hasn't clarified what it is exactly he's invited you to.

    Anyway it could be legit and he might be really busy and so I don't know what it is you'd actually get from him.
    If you're thinking it could become something serious, the fact that he hardly has time to see you let alone organise a date does not bode well for a future.

    If you are just looking for something like a hook up, then I don't know to be honest.
    Either way it doesn't sound like a date if he wants to meet you when there are other people over because he's going to have to entertain his other guests as well.

    Maybe I'm just a tad bit too cynical but this all sounds flakey and shifty to me. In this kind of situation I'd go with my gut feeling.

    Regardless, hope it turns out well for you whatever you decide to do.
  • Koaa2

    Posts: 1556

    Sep 04, 2014 12:56 PM GMT
    Seems like you need to be a little more assertive in what you would like the first meeting to be, lunch, drinks with friends, etc. You should know all the specifics before you make the trip otherwise sounds like you might be left hanging. If he is worth dating he will respond appropriately, if not let it go.
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    Sep 04, 2014 1:57 PM GMT
    Onemoresummer said... He said he is hopeless at organizing things
    you might be considerate in this area, offer to help out when you can.
  • theob

    Posts: 64

    Sep 04, 2014 2:59 PM GMT
    Maybe he just wants to sound like he's up to something fun. I do that. Actually it's better that you meet his friends. If you click with them, it's a really good sign.

    I wouldn't read too much into that. Then again, if he wants you to leave when his friends show up, I'd stop seeing him immediately.
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    Sep 04, 2014 3:20 PM GMT
    maybe their friends dont know about him icon_confused.gif
    good luck for being brave and taking the first step bro icon_smile.gif!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2014 3:24 PM GMT
    Sounds like a low pressure situation. Enjoy getting to know him and his friendd. If things are awesome then suggest heading out for drinks or food.
    Stop reading into everything. This is not an episode of Despreate Housewives.
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    Sep 04, 2014 4:30 PM GMT
    When he said that his housemates and HE might have people over for drinks you should have replied with: Are you inviting me? I certainly wouldn't make "an hour trek" out to someone if I weren't invited to the social. If you are invited bring a bottle of booze as it seems this guy is on a tight budget AND it is ALWAYS good manners to bring a token gift to the host.

    Easy peasy.

    Also sounds to me that if you want to pursue this guy you are going to be the one to take the initiative even if it means picking up the entire lunch/dinner date tab.
  • KaZT

    Posts: 52

    Sep 04, 2014 4:45 PM GMT
    If I were You, I would said I can't come on Sat (there will be his roommate and his friend - if You are invited) not very private. Ask him for Sunday lunch insteed. icon_smile.gif
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    Sep 04, 2014 8:17 PM GMT
    The money and distance issues....the possible being a third wheel at the house party with the roomies...doesn't bode well.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2014 8:57 PM GMT
    Do YOU want to go?
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    Sep 04, 2014 9:44 PM GMT
    You should probably suck him off like last and time then decide. That seems to be the only thing either of you two are actually committed to doing. Lol.

    When someone wants to meet you and be around you then they simply do it. You're being wishy-washy and "school girl indecisive" which I find hilarious because of you how guys met in the first place. It's hilarious because when it came to sex there was no hesitation but now when it comes to just treating someone like a normal person for the possibility of being a friend or more you're all "What do I do?" and "I don't know?" *twirls hair and bats eyes*. Ass backwards mind set, buddy.

    Man up, be assertive, go over there and quit over analyzing stuff or fucking move on to the next john for you to randomly hook up with from another bar. You already slept/fooled around with him so not treating him like a piece of meat should be easy. Get it together.
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    Sep 04, 2014 10:41 PM GMT
    Guy101 saidYou should probably suck him off like last and time then decide. That seems to be the only thing either of you two are actually committed to doing. Lol.

    When someone wants to meet you and be around you then they simply do it. You're being wishy-washy and "school girl indecisive" which I find hilarious because of you how guys met in the first place. It's hilarious because when it came to sex there was no hesitation but now when it comes to just treating someone like a normal person for the possibility of being a friend or more you're all "What do I do?" and "I don't know?" *twirls hair and bats eyes*. Ass backwards mind set, buddy.

    Man up, be assertive, go over there and quit over analyzing stuff or fucking move on to the next john for you to randomly hook up with from another bar. You already slept/fooled around with him so not treating him like a piece of meat should be easy. Get it together.


    That was a good read.
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    Sep 04, 2014 11:11 PM GMT
    bon_pan saidThe money and distance issues....the possible being a third wheel at the house party with the roomies...doesn't bode well.


    RedFlags.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2014 2:01 AM GMT
    You really never know how these things go. I hope in this instance it goes very well!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2014 2:44 AM GMT
    bon_pan saidThe money and distance issues....the possible being a third wheel at the house party with the roomies...doesn't bode well.

    (FULL STOP)
    -completely and totally relative to hotness and or penis size.

    Guy101 said
    ...Man up, be assertive, go over there and quit over analyzing stuff or fucking move on to the next john for you to randomly hook up with from another bar. You already slept/fooled around with him so not treating him like a piece of meat should be easy. Get it together.

    PREACH
    tumblr_nayup0iJsR1t95h1uo1_400.gif
  • xbuffed

    Posts: 41

    Sep 05, 2014 3:35 AM GMT
    Don't let this guy walk all over you, which is what you're doing. Show respect for yourself and he'll respect you.

    Say you'll meet him halfway there on a day where you can meet him alone no friends invited.

    If he serious, he will agree... otherwise Move on.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2014 4:19 AM GMT
    Onemoresummer saidUpdate from this post: http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/3900599/

    Messaged him.
    He has funds but he said work and study were leaving him with no free time and he didn't wanna screw me around but REALLY wanted to see me.

    Anyway, I said that I would make the hour trek out to him.

    I'm meeting him at his house on Sat afternoon and he said his housemates and him might have people over for drinks.

    Does this mean..
    I'm invited to this or am I meant to leave before this?
    Is this his idea of a date?

    He said he is hopeless at organising things (evidently).


    He sounds like a major fuckup.
  • Onemoresummer

    Posts: 106

    Sep 05, 2014 7:51 AM GMT
    I don't think his intentions are as bad as what It might seem.

    I think he is just
    a)inexperienced in dating
    b)probably feels comfortable having mates and a guy (me) just chilling and stuff.

    He even said when I originally suggested we can "hang at my house if money is an issue" that was more his style.

    So, I'll keep you posted.
  • Onemoresummer

    Posts: 106

    Sep 05, 2014 8:38 AM GMT
    He said I'm invited.
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    Sep 05, 2014 4:09 PM GMT
    Onemoresummer saidI don't think his intentions are as bad as what It might seem.

    I think he is just
    a)inexperienced in dating
    b)probably feels comfortable having mates and a guy (me) just chilling and stuff.

    He even said when I originally suggested we can "hang at my house if money is an issue" that was more his style.

    So, I'll keep you posted.


    Seems he's alright with getting a beej from someone he doesn't know yet from a 1st time meet. Sure. That's legit. Seems you're ok with giving a beej without knowing someone yet from a 1st time meet. Sure. Seems legit. Lol.

    It would appear neither of you are experienced at dating so it's funny for you to say that he's inexperienced when you're acting all bahgigity and unsure as well. Grrrrrl! Please.

    He probably wants to hang at house because a bed, kitchen and shower is readily available after he dicks you down. How did you two even hook up when you're both acting all skittish? Oh wait! Was there a bottle of Jack involved? You should bring one to help because it seem the only courage you have is found in a bottle.

    I'm just being facetious. Lighten up. icon_twisted.gif

    Seriously though....man the fuck up and take charge. Hesitation is Procrastination's ugly twin sister
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2014 4:30 PM GMT
    pellaz said
    Onemoresummer said... He said he is hopeless at organizing things
    you might be considerate in this area, offer to help out when you can.


    exactly!
  • KaZT

    Posts: 52

    Sep 05, 2014 5:27 PM GMT
    Good Luck mate;)
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    Sep 05, 2014 10:45 PM GMT
    KaZT saidGood Luck mate;)


    Yes ... and remember you owe us a postmortem. icon_evil.gif
  • Onemoresummer

    Posts: 106

    Sep 06, 2014 9:37 PM GMT
    Okay.
    Here I am waiting at the station to go home. He works at like 745am so very early.

    He had about 8 friends over, drinking etc.

    The night started as a disaster when I accidently texted a message to him being like "omg its a party gonna be neglected".
    Obviously that was meant to go to my friend, not him!

    Think I saved it, he said wouldn't be neglected. Got on really well with his friends.

    Night progressed to friends going clubbing, we elected to stay in and continue to drink, watch a movie.

    This led to some conversation about each other, our history etc that we couldn't have with a rowdy drunk crowd.

    Started to make out and eventually made our way to bedroom.
    Only hand jobs but a lot of cute intimacy cuddles.

    As he ordered pizza that night I suggested next time he come to mine and we make it. He said yes.

    The morning slightly awkward/hungover/tired.

    Drove ne to station. As he dropped me off I told him to let ne know when you wanna hang next, he mentioned how work/study is frustratingly taking up his time but he can find spare moments.

    Kissed on lips and that was that.

    Thoughts?