Straight Guys

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  Sep 06, 2014 2:51 PM GMT

  My question is - why is there such an obsession with straight men in the gay community? If we are happy with ourselves and confident that we are what we are meant to be, why don't we obsess with each other? I'm not gonna lie and say I don't recognize attractive straight men but, them being straight doesn't add any hotness points. I love gay men cause they love to kiss and cuddle and do it all. What do you think?

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  Sep 06, 2014 3:53 PM GMT

  I think it two part with one being the more commonly accepted notion of our attraction to masculinity which many gay man have.
  
  Part two is my own theory, though others might have thought of it too, of course--not that I've read others express it--that we sexualize acceptance.
  
  Growing up, most if not all of our friends are str8 while we have at least some conflict within us as to our own place in their world. So it seems a pretty natural thought that if your str8 friend will have sex with you, then what better proof that he accepts you?
  
  And then something that can be sexualized can be fetishized, even obsessed. So while it can create its own conflicts, I think the initiation of it is a pretty natural aspect of socialization.

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• Destinharbor
  
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  Sep 06, 2014 5:56 PM GMT

  theantijock saidI think it two part with one being the more commonly accepted notion of our attraction to masculinity which many gay man have.
  
  Part two is my own theory, though others might have thought of it too, of course--not that I've read others express it--that we sexualize acceptance.
  
  Growing up, most if not all of our friends are str8 while we have at least some conflict within us as to our own place in their world. So it seems a pretty natural thought that if your str8 friend will have sex with you, then what better proof that he accepts you?
  
  And then something that can be sexualized can be fetishized, even obsessed. So while it can create its own conflicts, I think the initiation of it is a pretty natural aspect of socialization.

  
  Interesting theory. Some truth in that. I did have sex with my best straight friend in eighth grade. After an experimental period for him, he decided he didn't care for it. Told his girlfriend who was also a friend of mine. She was crazy cruel. But after that I put up a wall so high not even I could get over it. Never ever let myself develop any sexual interest in a straight friend again. To this day, if a straight friend announced he was gay, I would have zero sexual interest. Now a guy who I thought was straight but not a friend? No problem.

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  Sep 06, 2014 6:01 PM GMT

  People want forbidden fruit

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  Sep 06, 2014 6:03 PM GMT

  It's not even about the challenge.
  
  I have a simpler theory - validation. Successfully seducing a straight man validates one's hotness and powers of persuasion.

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  Sep 06, 2014 6:39 PM GMT

  Huh. I think all of you have some good points. I did mess around with a lot of my straight friends growing up but that was just because we were horny teenagers and there were no other gay guys that I was aware of in my town. I always felt there was something lacking. They always wanted you to suck their dick with no reciprocation. No kissing. No touching. None of the stuff that really turns me on.

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• chrislove923
  
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  Sep 06, 2014 8:06 PM GMT

  I personally am usually completely unattracted to straight guys. Even if they're pleasing to the eye, I know that at the end of the day it would never work out. Plus we usually have very little in common. And there's the fact that dicks that fuck pussy STINK. #tHaTsaLL

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  Sep 06, 2014 8:09 PM GMT

  because a straight guy will not want to get me in bed and flirt with me, only thing straight guy wants is an emotional bond

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  Sep 06, 2014 8:10 PM GMT

  Because they associate heterosexuality with masculinity and gay men are obsessed with masculinity. Also, they want something they can't have.

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  Sep 07, 2014 12:11 AM GMT

  The masculinity.

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  Sep 07, 2014 12:16 AM GMT

  silver_phoenix said

  TopOfTheWorld saidMy question is - why is there such an obsession with straight men in the gay community? If we are happy with ourselves and confident that we are what we are meant to be, why don't we obsess with each other? I'm not gonna lie and say I don't recognize attractive straight men but, them being straight doesn't add any hotness points. I love gay men cause they love to kiss and cuddle and do it all. What do you think?

  
  
  Str8 guys are hotter. I have decades of sauna experience, and whenever a down low str8 hottie enters the venue, it is like an electrical charge sweeps through the crowd.
  
  Even in the half light gloom of the sauna I can immediately detect that str8 hottie - the way he moves, posture, just the vibe he emanates - and the line of fairies following behind him, LOL.
  
  HOTNESS!

  
  
  Yes.
  
  We ALL believe that when a Straight Man walks into a sauna and sees you He immediately changes His tune.
  
  yes.
  
  We REALLY believe that.
  
  We DO.
  
  

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  Sep 07, 2014 12:35 AM GMT

  Haha totally agree with you Cash. I'm sure there are a ton of straight guys wandering into gay saunas. That is his fantasy.

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  Sep 07, 2014 1:39 AM GMT

  Many gay men act like women so it's no surprise we have an obsession with straight men. Almost every time I see a stranger on the street I'm attracted to, he turns out to be straight. And yet I'm repulsed at knowing he sticks his dick in a pussy, so I'm definitely not attracted to them because they are straight.

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  Sep 07, 2014 4:05 AM GMT

  TopOfTheWorld saidMy question is - why is there such an obsession with straight men in the gay community?

  Because they're way hotter than gay dudes. Didn't yo momma learn you nuthin?

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  Sep 07, 2014 4:22 AM GMT

  I'm the same.
  I've never quite understood how people come to develop some intense crushes on straight guys.
  They won't like you back and it's time wasted.
  
  One reason is that I think it's partly due to how men are portrayed in media today. The whole muscular, scruffy, semi-trendy and 'masculine' I feel is what media tells society attractive men look like.
  Therefore women and gay men feed into it.
  
  Also not to mention there is a huge avenue of 'straight fetish' in gay porn.
  
  That and because there are so many gay men who find any trace of effeminate nuances too "gay" and therefore want a guy who is everything 'straight' and manly except for his sexual orientation.
  
  For me, I feel life is too short to waste that amount of time and energy on someone who won't like you in any way more than just friends.
  Be friends because that's totally fine, but learn to just leave it there and take control of your thought life.

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  Sep 07, 2014 4:32 AM GMT

  TopOfTheWorld saidMy question is - why is there such an obsession with straight men in the gay community? If we are happy with ourselves and confident that we are what we are meant to be, why don't we obsess with each other? I'm not gonna lie and say I don't recognize attractive straight men but, them being straight doesn't add any hotness points. I love gay men cause they love to kiss and cuddle and do it all. What do you think?

  
  It's a form of self loathing.

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  Sep 07, 2014 4:48 AM GMT

  Could it be the smell of pussy on their dicks?
  
  Personally, I like my dick smelling and tasting fresh whether it be of pussy or ass.

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  Sep 07, 2014 4:51 AM GMT

  I think it's about wanting what you can't really have. To some extent, everyone wants something they can't have and when it comes to sexuality, it's alluring and a turn on to go after something that you cannot reach.

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  Sep 09, 2014 6:02 AM GMT

  To answer your question based on my past experience: because most gay guys are gay because their first sexual experience with anyone was with probably a "straight" guy. They were both exploring. The sex was so intense and pleasurable because it was an early experience for both of them and the guy who is now only gay wants to experience that again. Just my guess.

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  Sep 09, 2014 6:22 AM GMT

  I'm attracted to masculinity and gender bending androgyny combined (glam rock days) woah mumma so hot. If i find anyone oozing sexual energy I will sop that shit up like a biscuit and idolise you like a god haha.
  
  I would like to try being in a polygamist relationship with a woman and a man and the man likes the woman, the woman likes me and I like the man and we need each other as pillars to sustain the relationship and we always sleep together in the same bed.
  Over time the man falls in love with me and the woman falls for the man and I fall for the woman and we all just love each other kind of thing.
  
  

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• JockPunkBohem...
  
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  Mar 28, 2015 6:29 PM GMT

  I guess it depends where you are and what finds you
  
  I am attracted to masculine energy
  
  Which means too often I have been a closet case magnet
  
  I could write a book…
  
  Or it would make great standup
  

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• jo2hotbod
  
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  Mar 28, 2015 7:33 PM GMT

  Jay1922 saidPeople want forbidden fruit

  
  
  ^+1 as simple as that

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  Mar 28, 2015 8:09 PM GMT

  Most gay men want *Masculine perfect body guys. Sometimes, gay men appear to be not super fit or femme or not in that type of Frat Bro Jock body type, then gay men just automatically cross them off as partners. Furthermore, people want what they can't have and some gay men want to *convert straight men, they see them as a conquest. And it goes back to your *straight crush either in your teen years or college/high school.

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• SilverRRCloud
  
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  Mar 29, 2015 5:49 AM GMT

  On a more practical level, unless you know the guy very well, you only have his word that he is str8. Believing him may very well be your right, but without any means of checking the truth, this statement has to be taken with a huge lump of salt.
  
  Quite a few guys are being perceived as being str8 because of their lifestyle, not so much because of their sexual proclivities and the established pattern of their sexual behavior.
  
  Unless we are talking about the situational homosexuality here, there is little chance that a genuinely str8 dude would really have any interest in messing around with another dude. Rightly so, str8 guys do not just define themselves as being solely attracted by the females but very much so as being opposed to having anything sexual with other males.
  
  No doubt, a number of gay men are very keen on having sex with a guy they perceive as being str8. First and foremost, this is a huge self-validation, an ego boost if you will. "I am so irresistible that even str8 guys cannot resist my advances..."
  
  The stigma associated with having sex with other men has largely subsided over the last few years. Hence, a few apparently str8 men perceive themselves as being open to the down on the low phenomenon. If no female is readily available, and there is this guy willing to help him get his rocks off, and no one will really know...
  
  If it works for you, what's the harm in trying? If you have better means of getting where you want to be, by all means, take the path of lesser resistance, and save yourself the work...
  
  
  SC
  
  

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• wesv
  
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  Mar 29, 2015 7:15 AM GMT

  TopOfTheWorld saidMy question is - why is there such an obsession with straight men in the gay community? If we are happy with ourselves and confident that we are what we are meant to be, why don't we obsess with each other? I'm not gonna lie and say I don't recognize attractive straight men but, them being straight doesn't add any hotness points. I love gay men cause they love to kiss and cuddle and do it all. What do you think?

  
  I'm on the same page with you. I find it appalling when gay men have to worship straight guys and have these ridiculous fantasies about seducing them. I don't watch gay porn anymore mainly because of the amount of straight actors and the stupid scenes about straight guys doing gay shit. It's almost like we're affirming that homosexuality isn't a real thing. Straight guys being curious behind their girlfriends? Is that homosexuality? I'm proud to be a part of the gay community, but this attitude among gay men make me feel embarrassed.
  
  I say we should look at each as potential intimate partners. And when I say "each other" I mean gay men.

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