Is love enough?

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    Sep 07, 2014 1:44 AM GMT
    Do you think love is enough to make a relationship last? If not, what do you think the key to a long lasting relationship is?
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    Sep 07, 2014 1:53 AM GMT
    Compatibility and not fighting over money helps. That's what's destroyed a few relationships I've known of.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Sep 07, 2014 2:38 AM GMT
    what-is-love.jpg
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    Sep 07, 2014 2:44 AM GMT
    Actually liking the person first.
  • buddycat

    Posts: 1874

    Sep 07, 2014 2:52 AM GMT
    What's love got to do with it?
    Click Here
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    Sep 07, 2014 2:53 AM GMT
    HolyHex001 saidDo you think love is enough to make a relationship last? If not, what do you think the key to a long lasting relationship is?


    Love is the only thing that will make a relationship work. But all have to decide what the love is directed towards... Money, power, family, friends, or simply the simple journey that two people can go on with eachother? It can also be based upon love of sex. But when two people actually invest their hearts into eachother at the same time, it becomes a spiritual plane. You suddenly realize that you are souring the universe on a spinning planet, in a spinning solar system, in a spinning galaxy and you are united on that journey. That is what love is. Love is also the flower that has caught your eye when you rather wanted to fall into an earthly hole and just be buried. That same concept is what you are to another person that you truly love whether it be gay or straight, brotherly or sisterly. There are many people I know and who are my guidance throughout my life that love ALL people. It's a growth journey and with that growth your life will be filled with many more opportunities to love.
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    Sep 07, 2014 4:03 AM GMT
    Love makes Hallmark cards. Compatibility makes relationships last.
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    Sep 07, 2014 4:10 AM GMT
    I don't think there's just one thing that can make a relationship last.
    People are complex and relationships are too.

    Love is obviously (at least in my mind) a very important component. So is communication, compromise, honesty, kindness and commitment.
    Compatibility to a certain degree, although I believe even if people were polar opposites if they both worked hard at the relationship, it would be successful as well.

    It's when you learn how to balance all of those things within the relationship that I feel makes the relationship last.

    The problem is it seems nowadays people don't want to do that and the moment a relationship doesn't pique their interest they just move on to another person, or cheat, or make it open so they can't use the word 'cheat'.
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    Sep 07, 2014 7:36 AM GMT
    I don't think most gay men know what true love really is. Actually they probably did stare at it and not even realized it, but were too shallow to even truly see it. Such a shame really.
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    Sep 07, 2014 9:20 AM GMT
    Varus saidI don't think most gay men know what true love really is. Actually they probably did stare at it and not even realized it, but were too shallow to even truly see it. Such a shame really.


    I relate. Sex does not surround love. Sex is an instinct but love is a journey.
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    Sep 07, 2014 1:38 PM GMT
    Varus saidI don't think most gay men know what true love really is. Actually they probably did stare at it and not even realized it, but were too shallow to even truly see it. Such a shame really.


    Yes, and I really hope that one specific person on this planet will realize that. One day. And he'll remember me.
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    Sep 07, 2014 1:49 PM GMT
    Love is about sharing and caring, first and foremost.
    Building a life together works best when you enjoy spending time with each other equally. It helps a lot if you are sexually compatible and keep that flame burning during your entire relationship. Being there, hand and foot when the other needs you the most, without being co-dependent about it.
    Put the other one's needs first from time to time and being able to compromise some of your precious personal time for the health of the relationship.
    Relationships are work. It can be easy work or it can be hard.
    That's up to the players on your Team!
  • Markz0ne45

    Posts: 59

    Sep 07, 2014 2:06 PM GMT
    I've never been in love with a man, I have been with a woman but it never worked out for her since she didn't care for me. But love is an immaterial thing. As much as people in our culture love sex, sex is not what love it. Sex is something you GIVE to someone you love and care for.
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    Sep 07, 2014 4:02 PM GMT
    The key fits the lock. The two get each other without explanation. It's not just compatibility but understanding. Of my two 10-year relationships ending in death and even with my 2-year relationship which the other guy destroyed, there was nearly no arguing in all that time.

    Not that we didn't use arguments in debating ideas, but there was no arguing with each other. We never had to explain ourselves to each other. We got each other. When you get each other, you have each other.

    Some scumbag stalker, horse's ass abusive person who enjoys pissing on people he loves tried making a play for me, but as soon as he attempted to develop a friendship instead of merely showering me with his phoney as phuck phlattery, phell prey to his own personality disorder of trying to hurt the people he loves, destroying every ounce of trust and making every attempt of conversation a battle not worth the effort. You'll all notice the douchebag making stupid as shit comments towards my posts as he continually stalks and takes whatever I say out of context because he has no ability to view who he loves in good light. Love for him is pain. He doesn't know how to love.

    So his love for me is not enough, would never be enough. He disgusts me. I do not consider it love though I can see that this is how he expresses what he thinks is love. His love is perverted. He is a lost soul, sad to the world.

    A great love is grand but not necessary. I knew great love with my first 10-year guy but not with my 2nd 10-year guy, love yes, but not a great love. What we did have, which trumps love, is trust. Without trust, love means nothing.
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    Sep 07, 2014 4:11 PM GMT
    Markz0ne45 saidI've never been in love with a man, I have been with a woman but it never worked out for her since she didn't care for me. But love is an immaterial thing. As much as people in our culture love sex, sex is not what love it. Sex is something you GIVE to someone you love and care for.


    So proud of you. Wish I would have known that fifteen years ago when I caught HIV.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Sep 07, 2014 4:15 PM GMT
    Boy, a lot goes into it. Three things that have been mentioned are key in my mind. The first is the "you get the guy." Which to me means you understand the motivation for his thoughts and actions, whether you agree with them all or not. Especially if you don't. But you see the guy as a whole, not a collection of things. The next is you have to like who and what that whole person is, you must admire and respect him. You understand his values and sometimes feel you can learn how to be better just by watching him. Lastly he has to be beautiful in your eyes. Doesn't mean he has to be physically beautiful, you just have to feel a bit melting when you look at him. Something that both softens you inside but also raises your blood pressure a tick. And occasionally raises other parts of you as well.

    If you find these things in a guy, and he finds them in you, love is enough.
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    Sep 07, 2014 4:18 PM GMT
    Destinharbor saidBoy, a lot goes into it. Three things that have been mentioned are key in my mind. The first is the "you get the guy." Which to me means you understand the motivation for his thoughts and actions, whether you agree with them all or not. Especially if you don't. But you see the guy as a whole, not a collection of things. The next is you have to like who and what that whole person is, you must admire and respect him. You understand his values and sometimes feel you can learn how to be better just by watching him. Lastly he has to be beautiful in your eyes. Doesn't mean he has to be physically beautiful, you just have to feel a bit melting when you look at him. Something that both softens you inside but also raises your blood pressure a tick. And occasionally raises other parts of you as well.


    I like what you said but in my opinion a hard on does not constitutionalize love. Leave that out of it, fuck man, doesn't the straight communities mistakes teach you anything?
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Sep 07, 2014 4:32 PM GMT
    jerred said
    Destinharbor saidBoy, a lot goes into it. Three things that have been mentioned are key in my mind. The first is the "you get the guy." Which to me means you understand the motivation for his thoughts and actions, whether you agree with them all or not. Especially if you don't. But you see the guy as a whole, not a collection of things. The next is you have to like who and what that whole person is, you must admire and respect him. You understand his values and sometimes feel you can learn how to be better just by watching him. Lastly he has to be beautiful in your eyes. Doesn't mean he has to be physically beautiful, you just have to feel a bit melting when you look at him. Something that both softens you inside but also raises your blood pressure a tick. And occasionally raises other parts of you as well.


    I like what you said but in my opinion a hard on does not constitutionalize love. Leave that out of it, fuck man, doesn't the straight communities mistakes teach you anything?


    Sorry, I see nothing wrong and everything right that in a loving relationship, there should be sexual attraction. Doesn't mean that in time, the need to express it may not wane (or even become impossible for some reason), just that it does matter in the early days of falling in love.**

    **I am assuming we're talking about love in the sense of two guys committing to each other. If we're talking about my love for my two Setters, well, then, I totally agree with you.
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    Sep 07, 2014 4:40 PM GMT
    Destinharbor saidBoy, a lot goes into it. Three things that have been mentioned are key in my mind. The first is the "you get the guy." Which to me means you understand the motivation for his thoughts and actions, whether you agree with them all or not. Especially if you don't. But you see the guy as a whole, not a collection of things. The next is you have to like who and what that whole person is, you must admire and respect him. You understand his values and sometimes feel you can learn how to be better just by watching him. Lastly he has to be beautiful in your eyes. Doesn't mean he has to be physically beautiful, you just have to feel a bit melting when you look at him. Something that both softens you inside but also raises your blood pressure a tick. And occasionally raises other parts of you as well.

    If you find these things in a guy, and he finds them in you, love is enough.


    That is all quite correct and of course I love that you got my you get the guy which you expressed precisely as I meant it. The other two aspects you note also ring very true and bring immediately to my mind my past loves.

    I want all of that again so very much. I miss it.
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    Sep 07, 2014 5:09 PM GMT
    Destinharbor saidBoy, a lot goes into it. Three things that have been mentioned are key in my mind. The first is the "you get the guy." Which to me means you understand the motivation for his thoughts and actions, whether you agree with them all or not. Especially if you don't. But you see the guy as a whole, not a collection of things. The next is you have to like who and what that whole person is, you must admire and respect him. You understand his values and sometimes feel you can learn how to be better just by watching him. Lastly he has to be beautiful in your eyes. Doesn't mean he has to be physically beautiful, you just have to feel a bit melting when you look at him. Something that both softens you inside but also raises your blood pressure a tick. And occasionally raises other parts of you as well.

    If you find these things in a guy, and he finds them in you, love is enough.


    I am not sure if this was your intention, but I found this post very moving and powerful. thank you for your response.
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    Sep 07, 2014 5:20 PM GMT
    Destinharbor said
    jerred said
    Destinharbor saidBoy, a lot goes into it. Three things that have been mentioned are key in my mind. The first is the "you get the guy." Which to me means you understand the motivation for his thoughts and actions, whether you agree with them all or not. Especially if you don't. But you see the guy as a whole, not a collection of things. The next is you have to like who and what that whole person is, you must admire and respect him. You understand his values and sometimes feel you can learn how to be better just by watching him. Lastly he has to be beautiful in your eyes. Doesn't mean he has to be physically beautiful, you just have to feel a bit melting when you look at him. Something that both softens you inside but also raises your blood pressure a tick. And occasionally raises other parts of you as well.


    I like what you said but in my opinion a hard on does not constitutionalize love. Leave that out of it, fuck man, doesn't the straight communities mistakes teach you anything?


    Sorry, I see nothing wrong and everything right that in a loving relationship, there should be sexual attraction. Doesn't mean that in time, the need to express it may not wane (or even become impossible for some reason), just that it does matter in the early days of falling in love.**

    **I am assuming we're talking about love in the sense of two guys committing to each other. If we're talking about my love for my two Setters, well, then, I totally agree with you.


    My personal agenda mistake. My agenda is not perfect. I have reservations I still don't even know myself. I have never MADE LOVE before. There, I am admitting the dark truth. But I am closed off for the rest of this lifetime from ever experiencing that between a man or a woman. Sorry I just can't pull the cards out of a hat on this one. My whole search right now is to find God. Damn that sounds drastic but how the FUCK would any God love me for what I am?
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    Sep 07, 2014 5:27 PM GMT
    Destinharbor saidBoy, a lot goes into it. Three things that have been mentioned are key in my mind. The first is the "you get the guy." Which to me means you understand the motivation for his thoughts and actions, whether you agree with them all or not. Especially if you don't. But you see the guy as a whole, not a collection of things. The next is you have to like who and what that whole person is, you must admire and respect him. You understand his values and sometimes feel you can learn how to be better just by watching him. Lastly he has to be beautiful in your eyes. Doesn't mean he has to be physically beautiful, you just have to feel a bit melting when you look at him. Something that both softens you inside but also raises your blood pressure a tick. And occasionally raises other parts of you as well.

    If you find these things in a guy, and he finds them in you, love is enough.

    Bingo!
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    Sep 07, 2014 7:13 PM GMT
    It depends on what sort of relationship you're talking about.
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    Sep 07, 2014 7:17 PM GMT
    sf_swimmer saidIt depends on what sort of relationship you're talking about.

    I think he's talking about a traditional Loving relationship vs. a "kept" realtionship or booty call.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Sep 07, 2014 11:24 PM GMT
    HolyHex001 saidDo you think love is enough to make a relationship last? If not, what do you think the key to a long lasting relationship is?



    I thought it was, but apparently guys disagree...