Reality check, I guess..

  • kemperakantaa

    Posts: 8

    Sep 07, 2014 6:36 PM GMT
    Yes guys, I really am sorry, but this would be actually just another "is he gay" thread and you don't really have to read it it is just important to me, because I really am in love with this person and I'm really lost.
    Unfortunately...my condolences haha

    The story is pretty long so whoever's not interested please don't critique me...I'm still new to this and am really not making anyone deal with my sh*t as I'm being weak-willed...I would love to get some honest OPINIONS!

    To start off I was his best friend back in high school especially senior year. I'm saying mainly his because he started copying many of the things I used to do, say, music to listen to etc. We both had girlfriends at the time and even his girlfriend was making the awkward jokes that would always imply that he's actually my boyfriend and she was asking for advice the gay guy in class that came out. So anyway when I started noticing him actually, because I used to be better at making friends and had a lot, so when I started noticing him in general and some stuff for which his girlfriend was jealous about, that's when my feelings started to generate. After a few signs from his side I decided to tell him...after senior year and when we were about to leave for college (we live in a small country and typically everybody's going somewhere out around the world to study). So yeah, I told him and he asked of we could stay friends. That was all via facebook...sadly...but I'm a pu**y. I then stopped talking to him and contacting him on purpose and wanted to wait a year for the summer to come and to see him and see how he's going to act in person. He did confront me once during this year about not talking to him and how he wanted us to be the same friends to which I said that I can't promise and probably not, because some things we've done together made me fall for him and that they don't seem like only friendship things to do, to me. So anyway, I saw him when we all went back for the summer and we talked in person. His answer pretty much was - "I can't picture this happening ", "I don't know, at this point no.". So yeah, I told him about a bunch of stuff that he's doing that seem like signs to me and like flirting. After the talk he kept doing a lot of them or more like he added new stuff. Like at the beach he wouldn't ask any of the girls from our crew to put sun lotion on him, he'd ask me, he slept with me on the same bed and was teasing me, sometimes trying to massage me but then pull back(because probably got scared or something I don't know), he would fold my clothes when we were leaving from the hotel, he would make lots of eye contact, he would call me to sleep next to him without actually saying it, because I guess it was hard for him...and after every bunch of things that he would do, I would think to myself that maybe that's how he's showing that he wants to be with me, but then every time I try to seek explanation and have a convo about those things - he'd be like "oh well I wasn't realizing I was doing them that way", "I told you at this point no". And then after each conversation things like those above would happen again...then at the end he was really contradicting himself in our last conversation about the situation for the summer. He said things like - "well there's next year...we'll be back here again...there's skype, you've said so many times that time and distance don't matter to you when it comes to relationships" etc. combined with "if next year things are the same then we'll stop being friends". So yeah, that was the last day of last summer. I came to the US again and was supposed to wait one more year till I see him again it was awful so I decided to see where we were standing at, because this last conversation was so full of different meanings like every other one too, but this one the most, so I wanted to see what was going on. So I facebooked him and it was crazy. He started denying everything he did, telling me that I've seen it through my eyes and that's not correct..and that he has done all those things to save our friendship...
    When I told him what he should have said if here were to be straight and he was like " well that's exactly what I said" and blah blah which I assure you is not.true and no I'm not lying to just make you tell me what I want to hear. So yeah...I stopped every single contact with him until this summer when he was more distant, but he was still showing signs and we ended up again sleeping in the same bed when we were at this hotel, he would tease me so that I could bite him, he would allow me to give him hour long massages, I would always push my feet next to his under the cover when we're falling asleep and he wouldn't even try to move, he would get jealous and look really sad whenever I dance with these two hot girls that I actually do kind of like...just because they really are hot (nothing serious) and things like that...and then on my last night when my friends set up - "the going away for another year party", we started giving each other, again, signs like last year and he would make eye contact, so I was like OMG this is happening I can't believe it, because he was trying to be so distant during the summer, but then at the end he started showing me signs again with the beachside hotel and this last night during which I went to lay in bed next to him and we cuddled a lot and I was touching him underneath his t shirt, our feet were clenched together...so yeah it was amazing and I was thinking to myself that it's finally happening and I was so happy...I even heard from friends that later on that day when I was on my flight that he's said that the summer is now over..starting today - and that was the 24th of July...they had like 2 more months left, but anyway..so yeah... at this point I have no idea what's going on between us again, because one of my best friends tried to confront him a few days ago, and he pretty much said that he hasn't changed his mind or anything and he didn't want to be rude to tell me to not sleep with him in the hotel room, or that he didn't want to be rude to tell me to stop biting him and stuff like that...he hadn't mentioned anything about the cuddling to her though he probably thinks she doesn't know but yeah. That's pretty much it...I have no idea what to do...or if he really has feelings for me...my friends (the ones that know about my crush on him) and I think that he might be in love but...we're too puzzled at this point and I can't take it anymore soon I decided to ask you guys. I really apologize for the long post...you could even remove it if you think it's necessary..
    I just wanted to talk to someone about this... (I'm not completely out yet)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2014 6:52 PM GMT
    There's only one way to find out if he's gay.

    Ask him this one simple question:

    h3C11D672
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2014 6:59 PM GMT
    You need to summarize that a bit more lol.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2014 7:01 PM GMT
    HolyHex001 saidYou need to summarize that a bit more lol.
    And it should be in essay format, double-spaced, and have references and citations listed.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2014 7:06 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    HolyHex001 saidYou need to summarize that a bit more lol.
    And it should be in essay format, double-spaced, and have references and citations listed.


    personal first person anecdote don't need citations.

    but yeah, spacing plz. hit the enter keys in the right places
  • kemperakantaa

    Posts: 8

    Sep 07, 2014 7:26 PM GMT
    Yes, I tried to correct it, I'm sorry, I typed it on my phone last night hahaha desperate prick and I guess auto-correct didn't do its job very well.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2014 8:01 PM GMT
    One of the youthful delusions you must store away as you progress into adulthood.

    E.M. Forster said it best...

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwJvqjTJW10


    And it hurts. I know it does. I've experienced it myself. But life moves on and so will you and, in time, you will find a man who loves you as you do him.
  • kemperakantaa

    Posts: 8

    Sep 07, 2014 10:02 PM GMT
    Why do you think I'm being delusional? I'm not saying you're wrong, just wondering, after all I did write this to get opinions icon_smile.gif
  • kemperakantaa

    Posts: 8

    Sep 08, 2014 3:09 AM GMT
    Come on guys it can't be that hard to just shoot out an opinion and help a brother out :/
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 14, 2014 2:08 PM GMT
    kemperakantaa saidCome on guys it can't be that hard to just shoot out an opinion and help a brother out :/



    I need to see what you look like to give an opinion icon_smile.gif