The forgotten guy...what do you call him?

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    Sep 11, 2014 7:03 PM GMT
    So this sparked from a forum post about the definition of 'straight acting" which made me think why there are hetero-gender roles placed on gay men when some women (mostly the one's I know) break the typical stereotypical norm of being a girly girl female.

    So my question is, what about that guy who is neither feminine flaming queen or butch masculine macho?


    I don't see myself as the typical masculine guy who will try to be the alpha of the room but I'm not the kind of guy to show too much of my feminine side either.

    I can do things that a "straight manly" and a "masculine man" can do such as change a tire, play sports, make my presence known in a powerful way etc. and just like a "female" or an "effeminate" male I appreciate the beauty of things, sharing emotions, etc. However you define being efeminate I guess without overdoing it. I usually think of myself who is just a guy who likes guys.

    Thoughts... Is this type of guy more balanced would you say without saying something like "normal acting"?
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    Sep 11, 2014 7:09 PM GMT
    It's called "being yourself"...something that a lot of people should learn how to do.
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    Sep 11, 2014 7:37 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidIt's called "being yourself"...something that a lot of people should learn how to do.

    But you say that being an individual is an oxymoron. A individual like everyone else.
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    Sep 11, 2014 7:40 PM GMT
    An actual normal person. They are rare among gay people
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    Sep 11, 2014 8:56 PM GMT
    Why does that person even need a label?
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    Sep 11, 2014 8:57 PM GMT
    ACRO_Slim saidWhy does that person even need a label?
    Right? I think a "sell by" date would be more appropriate.
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    Sep 11, 2014 9:00 PM GMT
    pazzy said
    paulflexes saidIt's called "being yourself"...something that a lot of people should learn how to do.


    +1. all these labels instead of people just being who they are.


    YUPPpPpPPp


    ZERO LABELS! You are you in fact why do we like you??? stay tuned!
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    Sep 11, 2014 9:23 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    ACRO_Slim saidWhy does that person even need a label?
    Right? I think a "sell by" date would be more appropriate.


    Well when you word it a certain way, it's a label. My wording isn't that and shouldn't be taken offensively.

    I'm not thinking in terms of calling someone this or categorizing someone as that. What do you tell someone when you're describing someone else. Masculine or effeminate can be adjectives in describing someone?

    The point of this post is basically there is all this talk of a guy being masculine or feminine and they are judged mostly on either or and never considered the middle.
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    Sep 11, 2014 9:30 PM GMT
    LoneStar_Ro said
    Well when you word it a certain way, it's a label. My wording isn't that and shouldn't be taken offensively.

    I'm not thinking in terms of calling someone this or categorizing someone as that. What do you tell someone when you're describing someone else. Masculine or effeminate can be adjectives in describing someone?

    The point of this post is basically there is all this talk of a guy being masculine or feminine and they are judged mostly on either or and never considered the middle.


    That's the point. Masculine, Feminine and "Straight Acting" are all just labels too. Labels that people shouldn't have to revert to.

    So you ask, what we would call someone who didn't fit any of these labels? I'd call them by their name.
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    Sep 11, 2014 9:33 PM GMT
    Okay seriously not meant to be a big deal, I just wanted to hear other peoples opinions and thoughts not have an argument. But I guess I should have chosen my word choice more carefully.

    How would you describe them or one's self then is what I'm asking.
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    Sep 12, 2014 3:00 AM GMT
    Soft butch, androgynous,?
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3516

    Sep 12, 2014 3:41 AM GMT
    Nondescript
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    Sep 12, 2014 3:42 AM GMT
    Yeah, you should embrace all your qualities, those perceived to be masculine and those perceived as feminine exist as a whole.
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    Sep 12, 2014 3:45 AM GMT
    LoneStar_Ro saidOkay seriously not meant to be a big deal, I just wanted to hear other peoples opinions and thoughts not have an argument. But I guess I should have chosen my word choice more carefully.

    How would you describe them or one's self then is what I'm asking.




    lol Dude, asking a question on this site is like walking into a pack of wolves. People here get butthurt and angry about anything and everything.
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    Sep 12, 2014 1:58 PM GMT
    I think it's fair to say that most people might actually fit in the middle.
    They might have a few particular traits in both ends of the spectrum.
    Nowadays though effeminacy is judged not really based on personality but for most people is purely based on an audial level.

    Just for the sake of an example.
    You could have a guy who's into cars, loves beer, handy with tools, listens only to rock, has chest hair and grows his beard, and whatever else stereotype there is for a "masculine" man, but if he spoke in an effeminate manner (i.e. not in a typical deep masculine voice) he would immediately just be branded as "gay" or what some "effeminate-phobes" call 'woman-acting'.

    Maybe it's just my own small little bit of bitterness taking over, but as a child being effeminate was one of the major things I was made fun of right up into high school.
    I eventually just accepted it as something I am unable to change about myself.
    I came to learn that being a man is more about integrity than it is about the inflection of your voice or about having 'masculine-branded' interests.

    I mean don't get me wrong, there are still so many things I'd change about myself in a heart beat but this is one of the very few things I've come to be okay with about myself.

    Just my own effeminate two cents.
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    Sep 12, 2014 6:17 PM GMT
    Mainly they announce themselves as Str8 Actin Masc, Lookin for same-NO FEMS! so you could try that
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    Sep 12, 2014 6:47 PM GMT
    Phoenyx saidMainly they announce themselves as Str8 Actin Masc, Lookin for same-NO FEMS! so you could try that


    Again guys, not asking what I would call myself I am completely fine without labels. I was thinking of more of a way of DESCRIBING one's self who wouldn't consider themselves as either masculine or feminine.
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    Sep 12, 2014 8:37 PM GMT
    wave saidAn actual normal person. They are rare among gay people


    Define "normal".
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    Sep 12, 2014 8:56 PM GMT
    Guy101 said
    wave saidAn actual normal person. They are rare among gay people


    Define "normal".



    Normal is a setting on a dryer. lol!
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    Sep 12, 2014 9:09 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidIt's called "being yourself"...something that a lot of people should learn how to do.

    3021307-inline-fb-thumbsup-printpackagin
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    Sep 13, 2014 3:17 AM GMT
    I've often said of myself, "I'm not the butchest knife in the drawer, but I like being a man and, well, nellie would be a big waste of 6'6"..." (I had a physical earlier this year and learned that I'm now 6'4.75", so I round up to 6'5" and now add, "it's like I'm the incredible shrinking man".)
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    Sep 13, 2014 1:51 PM GMT
    I love the kind of gay man that can just be himself. My current celebrity crush is Mo Rocca. He's just so natural and funny, and gay in his own kind of way. *Dreamy lol