Flamboyant

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 12, 2014 5:02 PM GMT
    Ok, so we all have discussed this before etc. (Everyone has an opinion on flamboyant or bitchy gay men (they seem to go hand in hand)).

    Which of the following categories do you fit in?

    1) Have been told I am flamboyant.
    2) People assume I am straight until I make it clear.

    There might be in betweens (feel free to explain), but which would apply best to you? Also, do you workout (I want to see how many here are..uhh...'jocks', for lack of a better term, and how many chasers)?





  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 12, 2014 6:36 PM GMT
    - #2
    - not working out but my job makes me be somewhat in shape, at least build/maintain muscles (and to opposite belief no Im not chubby)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 12, 2014 7:05 PM GMT
    I am pretty in the middle. I like all types of music and movies. My tone is pretty normal.

    I work out regularly but i used to be overweight.

    Why are there so many threads here that dont have anything to do with fitness ? I have seem more useless posts and threads like "whats on your mind", and that short mexican pricks rantings, pokemon , and random shit.

    If you all arent here talking about dieting, exercise, eating right, and losing weight whats the point of this website ?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 12, 2014 7:51 PM GMT
    #2

    And even still, some people don't believe me until others who know me confirm it. icon_lol.gif
  • 0ne_Half

    Posts: 14

    Sep 12, 2014 8:48 PM GMT
    I personally believe, and have been told, that I'm not exactly an epitome of being flamboyant or masculine. I lie somewhere in between, perfectly content spending my day either shopping for clothes with my girls, or firing off some rounds at the range with my bros.

    If I absolutely had to align with one, I'd like to think I side more with masculine, purely because flamboyant is defined as being:
    "(of a person or their behavior) tending to attract attention because of their exuberance, confidence, and stylishness."

    I myself try to retain a more reserved and self-effacing composure, rather than one that radiates excess energy and confidence.
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    Sep 12, 2014 9:10 PM GMT
    Probably bang in between the 2.

    I'm not particularly flamboyant because I hate drawing attention to myself but I'm not overly masculine either.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 13, 2014 2:02 AM GMT
    I would say I'm in between too, leaning more to the masculine side, so #2 as well.
    As a child I used to be more feminine, but I grew out of that phase icon_smile.gif
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    Sep 13, 2014 12:35 PM GMT
    I'm neither flamboyant or masculine. I have my moments though....... I exercise everyday because I just want to be healthy. I don't like saying "I work out." Because people then are under the assumption that I should have the body of a gymnast!!!!
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    Sep 13, 2014 12:55 PM GMT
    Number 1 since primary school.
    People never really had to ask me my sexuality as they just assumed right off the bat I was.
    Nowadays people don't ask mostly to avoid the awkwardness of asking.

    I remember back at one of my old jobs a co-worker had asked me if I was gay. I assumed it was because of my 'effeminate-ness' but just out of curiosity I asked her why she asked me.
    She said it's because I'm always happy (which I have been told at work I come across quite enthusiastic) and because of my vocabulary.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 13, 2014 1:25 PM GMT
    #2 here. I do not meet the stereotype at all. When doing my retail job, I encounter hundreds of people a day, and many who talk to me about my voice, "manliness", and whether I have a girlfriend.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 13, 2014 1:39 PM GMT
    This question is a big deal for young gay men but means far less when you get older. I remember wondering where I fit when I was coming to terms with my sexuality in high school and college. I was a star athlete but I was also a little too pretty with my red curly hair that I didn't cut short enough. I had three older sisters which made me a bit too sensitive relative to the other boys. I see it now how young boys can appear kind of effeminate. I noticed it with my niece's husband when they first started dating in college. Now he is a dad of two beautiful kids, in his early 30s, and there is nothing remotely effeminate about him. I look at him and I understand myself. We were both tall lanky athletes with boyish qualities when we young.

    Men harden and become more rugged with age. As a result what ever effeminacy I may have had as a boy was washed out by the stereotypical masculine interest I have as an adult. I just love beer, sports, wild adventures and a good adrenaline rush that men are more predisposed to enjoy than women.

    But to the young effeminate guys being a bit effeminate does not make you less attractive to other gay men. First you will lose many of your effeminate qualities with age. Second gay men want you to look like a jock but actually being one scares a lot of them away. A lot of gay men have control issue and the misinterpret a take charge attitude for being controlling. And if you are into guy things then they will probably decide that you don't have enough in common.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 13, 2014 1:57 PM GMT
    friendormate saidThis question is a big deal for young gay men but means far less when you get older. I remember wondering where I fit when I was coming to terms with my sexuality in high school and college. I was a star athlete but I was also a little too pretty with my red curly hair that I didn't cut short enough. I had three older sisters which made me a bit too sensitive relative to the other boys. I see it now how young boys can appear kind of effeminate. I noticed it with my Nieces husband when they first started dating in college. Now he is a dad of two beautiful kids, in his early 30s, and there is nothing remotely effeminate about him. I look at him and I understand myself. We were both tall lanky athletes with boyish qualities when we young.

    Men harden and become more rugged with age. As a result what ever effeminacy I had as a boy washed out the stereotypical masculine interest I have as an adult. I would never ever consider myself macho but I have been accused of it by gay men and jokingly by a few straights. I just love beer, sports, wild adventures and a good adrenaline rush that men are more predisposed to enjoy than women.

    But to the young effeminate guys being a bit effeminate does not make you less attractive to other gay men. First you will lose many of your effeminate qualities with age. Second gay men want you to look like a jock but actually being one scares a lot of them away. A lot of gay men have control issue and the misinterpret a take charge attitude for being controlling.




    I'm pretty sure this may just have been the particular case for you because it has certainly not been so for me.
    To be honest, I was bullied from primary school right up through to university for being an effeminate guy.
    It is the major reason why I actually actively avoid straight men because most of the hostility I've faced in my life were from straight and/or homophobic men.
    I guess this is the reason why I've never related to liking straight men or wanting to be straight acting because I've always felt threatened by them.
    Maybe because 'straight acting' has become the major norm for gay men, I don't really have any gay friends because if I just naturally avoid communication from straight men out of a fear of it becoming confrontational, whether it be an actual straight guy or a straight-acting gay guy (I'd never tell the difference and wouldn't spend the time to try discover it).

    Over the course of time, I've not become anything macho, don't enjoy beer or any kind of alcohol, never been into sports or wild adventures, and certainly nothing of my appearance has become rugged in the slightest.

    I am also quite confident that those particular things won't change. I don't see myself reaching an age where all of a sudden I like beer, watching sports, growing facial hair (trust me it's not in my genes), and whatever else 'straight-branded' interests or hobbies there are.

    Overall I think this may have just been your experience.
    I'm sure there will be other gay men out there who will experience something similar, but there will also certainly be other men who will be labelled 'feminine' through out their adult life.

    That or I'm just a bad anomaly.
  • chadwick1985

    Posts: 391

    Sep 13, 2014 2:18 PM GMT
    #2 and I work out.
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    Sep 13, 2014 2:26 PM GMT
    I'm flamboyant have always been like a kid on ADHD pills with a short attention span, but its all kept in my smile. If you met me for the first time and I wasn't smiling you'd probably think I was a criminal.
    If I'm at work and I'm not smiling and in my own little world thinking people think theres something wrong with me haha
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 13, 2014 4:20 PM GMT
    What we have until now on a gay jock website, everyone is self described:

    Flamboyant 14%
    Masculine 57%
    Neutral 29%

    Bigger sample size would be lovely.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 13, 2014 5:06 PM GMT
    You better know many flamboyant, femmes or even guys 'in the middle' are in denial and see themselves as straight acting when they're really not.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 13, 2014 5:47 PM GMT
    Sweetooth saidWhat we have until now on a gay jock website, everyone is self described:

    Flamboyant 14%
    Masculine 57%
    Neutral 29%

    Bigger sample size would be lovely.


    Masculine but not like a dumb fuck jock. Even tho it is PC to believe we are born one way or the other I see both sides working on their acts. Especially fem guys.
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    Sep 13, 2014 5:56 PM GMT
    pazzy said
    David3K saidYou better know many flamboyant, femmes or even guys 'in the middle' are in denial and see themselves as straight acting when they're really not.


    real talk though. why does it matter or bother people so much? why do guys look down on that?

    i used to get irritated when i would see effeminate guys BUT now that i realized it, i wasn't really bothered at them being effeminate. more so about their traits or personality wise. they were being douchy or using being effeminate as an excuse to be that way.


    Dont be an hypocrite Pazzy you said yourself many times you used to be super feminine when you were younger and taught yourself to act straight.

    And about that other thing, same happens to me, Im not irritated by fem guys I even find some of them attractive, it's the personality of some of them that makes me sick. I just try not to put all femmeines in the same category.
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    Sep 13, 2014 6:03 PM GMT
    pazzy said
    David3K said
    pazzy said
    David3K saidYou better know many flamboyant, femmes or even guys 'in the middle' are in denial and see themselves as straight acting when they're really not.


    real talk though. why does it matter or bother people so much? why do guys look down on that?

    i used to get irritated when i would see effeminate guys BUT now that i realized it, i wasn't really bothered at them being effeminate. more so about their traits or personality wise. they were being douchy or using being effeminate as an excuse to be that way.

    Dont be an hypocrite Pazzy you said yourself many times you used to be super feminine when you were younger and taught yourself to act straight.

    And about that other thing, same happens to me, Im not irritated by fem guys I even find some of them attractive, it's the personality of some of them that makes me sick. I just try not to put all femmeines in the same category.


    see, i was a KID back then. i wasn't aware of how i was acting until i got into my preteens, became aware of my sexuality and shit.


    Well that's my point, once you realized you were acting feminine you forced yourself to change your behaviour to a straight acting one and never looked back.

    And now you're in shock wondering why people look down on fems, when you were the first one to look down on it and still does - because really, your behavior as a kid was your true behavior, after that it was all an act - probably directly related by the fact youre still in the closet. If you were gonna be 100% true with yourself you would resemble more to the 12 yo you were once .
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 13, 2014 6:04 PM GMT
    #2 in my case
    I dunno why but "flamboyant" guys tend to have particular traits.
    The most obvious is the style aka clothing and body shape lolz.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 13, 2014 6:13 PM GMT
    pazzy said
    David3K said
    pazzy said
    David3K said
    pazzy said
    David3K saidYou better know many flamboyant, femmes or even guys 'in the middle' are in denial and see themselves as straight acting when they're really not.


    real talk though. why does it matter or bother people so much? why do guys look down on that?

    i used to get irritated when i would see effeminate guys BUT now that i realized it, i wasn't really bothered at them being effeminate. more so about their traits or personality wise. they were being douchy or using being effeminate as an excuse to be that way.

    Dont be an hypocrite Pazzy you said yourself many times you used to be super feminine when you were younger and taught yourself to act straight.

    And about that other thing, same happens to me, Im not irritated by fem guys I even find some of them attractive, it's the personality of some of them that makes me sick. I just try not to put all femmeines in the same category.


    see, i was a KID back then. i wasn't aware of how i was acting until i got into my preteens, became aware of my sexuality and shit.


    Well that's my point, once you realized you were acting feminine you forced yourself to change your behaviour to a straight acting one and never looked back.

    And now you're in shock wondering why people look down on fems, when you were the first one to look down on it and still does - because really, your behaviour as a kid was your ture behavior, after that it was all an act - probably directly related by the fact youre still in the closet. If you were gonna be 100% true with yourself you would resamble more to the 12 yo you were once.


    you're not understanding me, breh. i was a KID. you're acting like i was an ADULT. you can't expect a kid to have the same understanding as an adult does where they get it. to expect such is irrational. i acted effeminate BUT @ the same time, i was into guy things. i was into power rangers, wrestling, and etc. i didn't wear dresses, had barbie dolls, was into my little pony and etc.

    it's like expecting a kid to fully understand sex. they can't.


    No, you're not getting me. A kid acts how a kid feels, they dont have boundaries or rules imposed by society. One could say kids are the most honest of all. Now once you grew up and realized how things worked in the real world and that your behaviour wasn't appreciated you changed it on purpose to fit your surroundings. It doesnt mean though that you're not still that kid, you just act different - on purpose, to avoid being a feme.
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    Sep 13, 2014 6:17 PM GMT
    David3K said
    No, you're not getting me. A kid acts how a kid feels, they dont have boundaries or rules imposed by society. One could say kids are the most honest of all. Now once you grew up and realized how things worked in the real world and that your behaviour wasn't appreciated you changed it on purpose to fit your surroundings. It doesnt mean though that you're not still that kid, you just act different - on purpose, to avoid being a feme.


    THIS, its totally makes sense
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    Sep 13, 2014 6:43 PM GMT
    wave said
    David3K said
    No, you're not getting me. A kid acts how a kid feels, they dont have boundaries or rules imposed by society. One could say kids are the most honest of all. Now once you grew up and realized how things worked in the real world and that your behaviour wasn't appreciated you changed it on purpose to fit your surroundings. It doesnt mean though that you're not still that kid, you just act different - on purpose, to avoid being a feme.


    THIS, its totally makes sense


    +1
    -----
    Also, I have no problems with how a guy acts. It's the bitchy fems who irk me, and I do not believe they are a minority within the realm of the flamboyant guys.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 13, 2014 7:01 PM GMT
    I'm def #2
    but i can also be the sweetest bitch you'll ever meet
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 13, 2014 7:09 PM GMT
    Gender roles are just social constructs. Humans are the only animals that have this type of shit which means that masculinity and femininity are just made up.