My real Father just called me again tonight, we are having our first reunion in over 23 years very soon.

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    Sep 13, 2014 5:11 AM GMT
    I don't know my Dad very well as things were cut off from us when I was eight years old. I met him again at age 21 in Washington State and it was on an Indian Reserve on the coast. All the L.A. hippies were there that weekend and we were all drinking bloody mary's. My Dad and I walked down to the beach for the first time held eachother close and cried and cried and cried. All around us were these HUGE untouched sand dollars I will never forget. It was like God was reaching out to me but I had some difficulties at that age and flew back to California and left that most beautiful past behind. Well, he's about an hour away now near my birthplace and is coming out to visit me soon. It is going to be our first adventure since the last one. The FIRST adventure I remember with him was when I was eight years old and he took me horseback riding. Well, I was scared shitless of this horse and there I was all of a sudden without my Father around. I was alone on my horse. But I looked up on the top of this HUGE hill and saw a trail of dust as my Father soured on his horse down that steep hill. I will never forget that ever ever ever. He don't care about my sexual orientation, he loves me which is what a Father is suppose to do. But the descrepancies are too complicated to explain along the way and I am NOT bringing my Mother into this conversation as she has been a straight arrow all her life and deserves MAXIMUM respect. But my Dad has loved me like a crevice of light in all the dark cracks of this universe. Yes, it is confirmed now, I come from Scottish royalty... Mary Stuart to be exact. Doubt me and I will explain the details of it... But just know that is a BIG part of my heritage. HOW THE FUCK WOULD GOD SHOW ME LOVE LIKE THIS OVER AND OVER AGAIN WHILE I THREW IT AWAY ON DRUGS??? The Truth is... I am an image of God. It is ONLY by God's love that I can take another fucking breath.
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    Sep 13, 2014 7:30 AM GMT
    He is your biological father but if he has been absent from your life for a significant length of time then you just be cautious of entering in to your meeting with him with fantasies. Just my advice. Accept him for who he really is and you be who you really are and let the chips fall where they may.
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    Sep 13, 2014 7:40 AM GMT
    declansloan saidHe is your biological father but if he has been absent from your life for a significant length of time then you just be cautious of entering in to your meeting with him with fantasies. Just my advice. Accept him for who he really is and you be who you really are and let the chips fall where they may.


    I appreciate that brother. For your consolation as you carry a true heart just know a lot of our absence of time was because of my speculation. But I see he is nolonger on the drugs now and realize this is part of my spirit I cannot deny because God never put a man into my life that would abuse me. I would be just like you if it were anyone else but in my situation, this is truly a spiritual reuniting with who I am.
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    Sep 13, 2014 1:13 PM GMT
    After an absence of six or seven years, I called my father when I was 21. His woman answered the phone...said "let me see if he wants to talk to you." After a minute or two she came back and told me "he doesn't want to talk to you."

    When I was 50 I found his place of burial on the internet.

    Hopefully, prizes are given out for being stubborn.
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    Sep 13, 2014 5:14 PM GMT
    bon_pan saidAfter an absence of six or seven years, I called my father when I was 21. His woman answered the phone...said "let me see if he wants to talk to you." After a minute or two she came back and told me "he doesn't want to talk to you."

    When I was 50 I found his place of burial on the internet.

    Hopefully, prizes are given out for being stubborn.


    Man, that is TRULY sad. My condolences. Is it at all possible that the woman who answered the phone was lying? I had an aunt like that who was a gold digger and didn't want family barging in on her territory.
  • ursa_minor

    Posts: 566

    Sep 13, 2014 6:01 PM GMT
    Good for you.

    Enjoy your blessings!

    Being an expat, I live continents away from my dad, who has lung cancer, and I have to be here to send remittances to the family. Tough choice eh?
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    Sep 13, 2014 8:42 PM GMT
    hope things work out
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    Sep 13, 2014 8:45 PM GMT
    Thanks guys. I have no more harsh judgemental heart. All I know is I connect with this man on a mental level and of course my heart does get into it. I just want to know who and what I am.
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    Sep 13, 2014 8:49 PM GMT
    Good. Hope everything goes fine. Good luck.
  • ASHDOD

    Posts: 1057

    Sep 13, 2014 9:31 PM GMT
    whats god got to do with it?

    good luck for your renewd connection with your father,but you have to be carfull not to''fall in love'' with your father too quick , i think you need time to know him as a man, his good and his bad parts...
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    Sep 13, 2014 9:38 PM GMT
    Ashdod saidwhats god got to do with it?

    good lucj for your renewd connection with your father,but you have to be carfull not to''fall in love'' with your father to quick , i think you need time to know him as a man, his good and his bad parts...


    Thanks brother. I will let my heart go where it may but I will let my mind do the trick. He has dumped out everything unsaid and is still telling me more. He never says a THING about my Mother and I respect him for that. He even asked me in this last conversation whether I want to be called the name my Mother gave me or the name I was named after which was him. I know this man has nothing but good intentions. I know in my heart that God never gave me more than I could handle.
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    Sep 14, 2014 5:01 AM GMT
    Jerred said
    declansloan saidHe is your biological father but if he has been absent from your life for a significant length of time then you just be cautious of entering in to your meeting with him with fantasies. Just my advice. Accept him for who he really is and you be who you really are and let the chips fall where they may.


    I appreciate that brother. For your consolation as you carry a true heart just know a lot of our absence of time was because of my speculation. But I see he is nolonger on the drugs now and realize this is part of my spirit I cannot deny because God never put a man into my life that would abuse me. I would be just like you if it were anyone else but in my situation, this is truly a spiritual reuniting with who I am.
    Well the one thing I heard you say hear in your post that is very important is that you recognize this is about you. Just make sure that you remember that and keep it in mind when you meet him. You and I will discuss the God thing at another time after we've gotten to know each other a little better okay buddy.
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    Sep 14, 2014 5:05 AM GMT
    declansloan said
    Jerred said
    declansloan saidHe is your biological father but if he has been absent from your life for a significant length of time then you just be cautious of entering in to your meeting with him with fantasies. Just my advice. Accept him for who he really is and you be who you really are and let the chips fall where they may.


    I appreciate that brother. For your consolation as you carry a true heart just know a lot of our absence of time was because of my speculation. But I see he is nolonger on the drugs now and realize this is part of my spirit I cannot deny because God never put a man into my life that would abuse me. I would be just like you if it were anyone else but in my situation, this is truly a spiritual reuniting with who I am.
    Well the one thing I heard you say hear in your post that is very important is that you recognize this is about you. Just make sure that you remember that and keep it in mind when you meet him. You and I will discuss the God thing at another time after we've gotten to know each other a little better okay buddy.


    Sounds good. :-)
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    Sep 14, 2014 5:08 AM GMT
    Awesome! I hope y'all have a great time together. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 14, 2014 5:13 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidAwesome! I hope y'all have a great time together. icon_biggrin.gif


    Love ya Paul and thanks brother.
  • venue35

    Posts: 4644

    Sep 14, 2014 5:13 AM GMT
    bon_pan saidAfter an absence of six or seven years, I called my father when I was 21. His woman answered the phone...said "let me see if he wants to talk to you." After a minute or two she came back and told me "he doesn't want to talk to you."

    When I was 50 I found his place of burial on the internet.

    Hopefully, prizes are given out for being stubborn.

    That is so sad *hug*
    Well when i was 21 i found out my dad was cheating on my mom so i tried to
    blackmail him for cash. He still hates me for that...
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    Sep 14, 2014 11:40 AM GMT
    This is truly and amazing gift you have been given. Enjoy every moment with you Dad. You both deserve to be happy. Nothing will ever change the past, but you can change your future. Make it the best for you and your Dad.
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    Sep 14, 2014 7:45 PM GMT
    boone saidThis is truly and amazing gift you have been given. Enjoy every moment with you Dad. You both deserve to be happy. Nothing will ever change the past, but you can change your future. Make it the best for you and your Dad.


    What you just wrote is right on target. It's really like a uniting of the soul. I'm just very grateful for it.

    Can't remember if I mentioned it but the reason he contacted me was he found out from my Facebook account that I have chronic kidney disease and he wanted to let me know he will offer me one if I need it. NOW THAT IS FUCKING LOVE.icon_biggrin.gif