Sep 13, 2014 5:11 AM GMT
I don't know my Dad very well as things were cut off from us when I was eight years old. I met him again at age 21 in Washington State and it was on an Indian Reserve on the coast. All the L.A. hippies were there that weekend and we were all drinking bloody mary's. My Dad and I walked down to the beach for the first time held eachother close and cried and cried and cried. All around us were these HUGE untouched sand dollars I will never forget. It was like God was reaching out to me but I had some difficulties at that age and flew back to California and left that most beautiful past behind. Well, he's about an hour away now near my birthplace and is coming out to visit me soon. It is going to be our first adventure since the last one. The FIRST adventure I remember with him was when I was eight years old and he took me horseback riding. Well, I was scared shitless of this horse and there I was all of a sudden without my Father around. I was alone on my horse. But I looked up on the top of this HUGE hill and saw a trail of dust as my Father soured on his horse down that steep hill. I will never forget that ever ever ever. He don't care about my sexual orientation, he loves me which is what a Father is suppose to do. But the descrepancies are too complicated to explain along the way and I am NOT bringing my Mother into this conversation as she has been a straight arrow all her life and deserves MAXIMUM respect. But my Dad has loved me like a crevice of light in all the dark cracks of this universe. Yes, it is confirmed now, I come from Scottish royalty... Mary Stuart to be exact. Doubt me and I will explain the details of it... But just know that is a BIG part of my heritage. HOW THE FUCK WOULD GOD SHOW ME LOVE LIKE THIS OVER AND OVER AGAIN WHILE I THREW IT AWAY ON DRUGS??? The Truth is... I am an image of God. It is ONLY by God's love that I can take another fucking breath.