JonSpringon saidI know it's bitter and small of me to take a little bit of joy in her misfortune yesterday... but whatevs. I can't take the high road ALL the time... I'm only human.
And thanks disasterpiece, "schadenfreude" is a much better word to use.
At least I knew enough that, despite what music has taught me about rain on your wedding day, it's not really "ironic".
For the record, smiling inside was a whole lot nicer than the first plan of me and my BF crashing the wedding wearing body-painted tuxedos.
David3K got this one.
Being human or being a monster? Is your schadenfreude
justified on even its own unevolved level of self-awareness if what you call cheating on her part was merely her finding satisfaction rightful to claim which you as a gay man in hiding stole from her life by your so-called commitment to her?
Before you were hiding from being gay, and now you are avoiding the responsibility to be human and accept how others respond to you and your actions.
From what I've read of your story, it sounds like what you call her cheating is what allowed you to be who you are. If that's true, then you owe her wedding not just your blessing but your thanks. Assuming of course, that what you are is your happiness.