doing sex when u really didn't want it

  • meezo

    Posts: 117

    Sep 14, 2014 8:35 AM GMT
    Hey all,
    First sorry if my English is bad coz it is not my mother-tongue
    I just want your opinions in something that happened to me and I really regret it and I don,t know if it is my fault or not.
    I am a person that don,t do sex unless it is a part of LTR and in the frame of love,ie: the emotional part is very important for me and love has to be part of the relation coz I know I really need men emotionally maybe more than I need them sexually.
    There was a person that I really was interested in as a lover and as a long term partner,when we met after we talked and as the time passes we started smiling to each other and I requested from him to hug me not more than this.
    But after a while he started to touch my penis and kissing me and I was just worried and very afraid to request from him to stop coz I didn't want to hurt him,and I didn't want to appear stupid if I told him that all what I needed is hugs and things like this,and also I didn't want to appear as a selfish that who wanted something from somebody and will not give him what he wants in return,but deep inside I really didn't want to have sex and wht I really wanted is hugging, just something emotional.
    I know this sounds stupid but this what happened
    I really was in a situation that I really couldn't say no and maybe I should be more assertive but I really didn't control the situation.
    Now I really lose my self respect,I feel like slut and that I didn't save this thing(sex) for the right guy(coz this Guy isn't interested in LTRs) and I am depressed and always thinking about it.
    Is there something I can fix?what should I do?is it really my fault or I shouldn't push hard on myself??am I a slut?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 14, 2014 8:47 AM GMT
    Shalom ! I'm from the house of david as well! U sound like me my brother ! If the man only wanted a a hook up and he rammed u I would be sad
  • meezo

    Posts: 117

    Sep 14, 2014 8:56 AM GMT
    guido4life saidShalom ! I'm from the house of david as well! U sound like me my brother ! If the man only wanted a a hook up and he rammed u I would be sad

    Hi Guido,thanks for your reply,if u mean (rammed:fucked) no he didn't,but also having sex is having sex for me despite being soft or hard sex.
  • Nitro

    Posts: 22

    Sep 15, 2014 1:10 AM GMT
    What happened after, what was his reaction?

    Sometimes love happens after sex, as stupid as it might sound the guy could be nice and way more "realistic" after the act, if he walks away he just wanted a one nighter, if he was still nice he might be a good friend with benefits which could bring more!
  • meezo

    Posts: 117

    Sep 15, 2014 8:51 AM GMT
    Nitro saidWhat happened after, what was his reaction?

    Sometimes love happens after sex, as stupid as it might sound the guy could be nice and way more "realistic" after the act, if he walks away he just wanted a one nighter, if he was still nice he might be a good friend with benefits which could bring more!


    Hi Nitro,He was nice and everything,and asked me to keep in contact,but he didn't want LTR,he was interested in more of the same thing.But I won,t of course.
    I already feel regret of what happened and I feel really like sorry to say this''slut'',but I really didn't mean it.
    I feel like that I didn't save myself for the right one ,and then I say but I didn't do this intentionally,I don't know,I am confused that is why I asked for your help Guys.
  • Svnw688

    Posts: 3350

    Sep 15, 2014 3:31 PM GMT
    Meezo:

    (1). Calm down. You didn't do anything wrong.

    (2). The guy just wanted a hookup. Drop him.

    (3). You need to learn to say "No." If you continue being shy and meek, you could end up in a situation where you're being raped, and potentially without a condom. So speak your mind. If you want sex, ask for it. If he says yes, we've got a match. If EITHER party says no, then no. He won't listen? Fight him and escape. Call 911 (or whatever the police emergency number is in your city). No means no.

    (4). I feel like you're pretty new to dating/sex. That's fine, everyone starts somewhere. I'd recommend meeting other virgin or inexperienced guys. Don't get with the town slut who has years of experience on you. There's a reason why we intuitively shun a 40 year old player dating a 16 year old newbie. It's an unfair and unbalanced power dynamic.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Sep 15, 2014 4:56 PM GMT
    Look, fake pic (which you acknowledge but only after someone looks at the profile) and a virgin at 28. And terrified about what someone else will think or what your god will think. This is your life. And it is slipping away while you dither over what others think. Until you realize the power politics of the legions of people who love you being so docile and start to enjoy this life, you will be sad and confused. Stop being a pawn. Start being a man.