The Fear of HIV cant allow me to enjoy myself to the fullest...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 14, 2014 1:39 PM GMT
    I found myself in a situation with a guy I have wanted like forever....very cute and gentle/warm.

    He wanted to fuck me but I did not allow him even though I kinda wanted him badly, just because of the fear of HIV. Due to the HIV prevalence in the country where I am, I feel even if we are using condoms, we should test first. We just had mutual wanking, never sucked.

    Am I unreasonable?

    I have been a HIV educator so please do not go there..It is just an obsession. Please if you are going to condemn me, do not comment. It is not what I need now.
  • tj85016

    Posts: 4123

    Sep 14, 2014 1:42 PM GMT
    who can argue logic, good for you (unless you wanna play Russian Roulette)
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    Sep 14, 2014 2:44 PM GMT
    Oral sex without cum is VERY low risk (or most people would have HIV). Now, I agree with anal even with a condom. I wouldn't worry about it, but you know, you gotta live your life. Where do you live?
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    Sep 14, 2014 2:49 PM GMT
    Hes in Lesotho and according to Wikipedia 40% of the population is HIV+, WTF?
    If I were you as a gay guy I would try to move away.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 14, 2014 2:50 PM GMT
    I think you are doing everything correctly and many could take an example from you
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    Sep 14, 2014 2:54 PM GMT
    Only 4% of the population in Lesotho have Internet access.

    This one is probably another sock account from any of our local trolls.
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    Sep 14, 2014 9:56 PM GMT
    Thanks all for the comments.

    I now live in South Africa, but even if I were living in Lesotho, isn’t it insulting to say what you have said? Please read your statements again and listen to yourself. Are you implying that if the Internet users (per 100 inhabitants) is 4, no one can have an account? I don’t quite get you on this. Sometimes you had better not comment on some posts. You did not offer anything that would further the topic, instead you just want to kill it.

    Kindly be more patient and kind with people from another end of the world to yours.

    Thanks to you too.
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    Sep 14, 2014 9:56 PM GMT
    Addressing David3k. Sorry everyone.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 14, 2014 9:59 PM GMT
    You can't be too safe. Keep playing the way you feel safe and don't let anyone fool you into doing more.
  • SuntoryTime

    Posts: 656

    Sep 14, 2014 10:17 PM GMT
    David3K saidHes in Lesotho and according to Wikipedia 40% of the population is HIV+, WTF?
    If I were you as a gay guy I would try to move away.


    The rate is actually around 23.1. You were looking at the 25–29 age group. Just wanted to clarify.
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    Sep 14, 2014 10:24 PM GMT
    Yes Suntory....That is pretty high. Thnx
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    Sep 14, 2014 10:26 PM GMT
    Goodlucklumu saidThanks all for the comments.

    I now live in South Africa, but even if I were living in Lesotho, isn’t it insulting to say what you have said? Please read your statements again and listen to yourself. Are you implying that if the Internet users (per 100 inhabitants) is 4, no one can have an account? I don’t quite get you on this. Sometimes you had better not comment on some posts. You did not offer anything that would further the topic, instead you just want to kill it.

    Kindly be more patient and kind with people from another end of the world to yours.

    Thanks to you too.


    I haven't said anything offensive. I actually gave you a wholeheartedly advice, told you to move away from a country with such big percentage of HIV infections. Specially if you're a gay man. Take it or leave it thats up to you.
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    Sep 14, 2014 10:43 PM GMT
    David...You are being arrogant over nothing. How do you advice someone to leave their country because of HIV prevalence??? I thought it was a slip of the tongue but now I have confirmed that you actually meant it. I officially leave it...the advice. Then you went ahead to say this is another sock account.....and you are not sorry.
    Thanks dear.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 14, 2014 10:43 PM GMT
    Thanks Pazzy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 14, 2014 10:47 PM GMT
    Goodlucklumu saidDavid...You are being arrogant over nothing. How do you advice someone to leave their country because of HIV prevalence??? I thought it was a slip of the tongue but now I have confirmed that you actually meant it. I officially leave it...the advice. Then you went ahead to say this is another sock account.....and you are not sorry.
    Thanks dear.

    Im not being arrogant, Im being realistic. You're GAY and live in a country where 39% of people in your are range are HIV+ -and Im sure the percentage among gays is even higher- so hell yeah I'm advising you to get the hell out of there as soon as possible!

    PS: now you say you live in South Africa but when I gave you the advice I thought you lived in Lesotho as you profile says..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 14, 2014 10:48 PM GMT
    I agree with you. I have been abstinent since 2006. I caught HIV in 1998 and I had only delved into sex for a year. I remember there were some guys fucking me and came a lot and when they pulled out the rubber was broken. I have no idea who I caught it from but there are a number I always felt could have been the ones. Maybe as an educator you can get rid of this particular teaching in college Health Science which is that you only have a one percent chance of getting it. What they DON'T teach is that in the gay community that percentage is EXTREMELY much higher. Wish I had known.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 14, 2014 10:51 PM GMT
    Its OK David. Sorry if I overreacted. No worries. Thnx man.
  • SuntoryTime

    Posts: 656

    Sep 14, 2014 10:51 PM GMT
    Goodlucklumu saidYes Suntory....That is pretty high. Thnx


    Welcomes. And no. You are not being unreasonable. If I were you, I would get you and your partner tested. It's very easy and there's no excuse to avoid it if you can. If he declines, then either kick him to the curb or continue your extremely low risk sessions. I would also continue using condoms after that point no matter the results.
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    Sep 14, 2014 10:53 PM GMT
    SuntoryTime said
    Goodlucklumu saidYes Suntory....That is pretty high. Thnx


    Welcomes. And no. You are not being unreasonable. If I were you, I would get you and your partner tested. It's very easy and there's no excuse to avoid it if you can. If he declines, then either kick him to the curb or continue your extremely low risk sessions. I would also continue using condoms after that point no matter the results.


    Also have in mind you both have to get tested once and then wait the window period to get tested again, to confirm you're both actually neg. And like this guy here say I would still be using condoms no matter what.
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    Sep 14, 2014 11:03 PM GMT
    Thanks guys. To be honest, I am just fearing him coz I know my status. I test regularly even though I do not engage in any sexual activity. Even though HIV is an inconvenience, it has cushioned me lol........at least I have a reason to hold back somehow if you know what I mean........the flip side is that I wank a little more than I normally should if I were having sex I guess mmmmmh!!!!!
  • carew28

    Posts: 660

    Sep 14, 2014 11:25 PM GMT
    There's nothing wrong with wanking-off and it's a good way to relieve your sexual tensions. Better to be safe than sorry.
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    Sep 18, 2014 12:47 AM GMT
    Goodlucklumu saidThanks guys. To be honest, I am just fearing him coz I know my status. I test regularly even though I do not engage in any sexual activity. Even though HIV is an inconvenience, it has cushioned me lol........at least I have a reason to hold back somehow if you know what I mean........the flip side is that I wank a little more than I normally should if I were having sex I guess mmmmmh!!!!!


    As an educator, you know the first step is to TEST. Whatever the outcome know the risks and limitations.
    Africa has had the highest HIV incidence in the world, BUT has also made some of the biggest strides in reductions! 41% reduction in new cases in SA and 71% in Botswana. Impressive!

    What would you do if he tested positive?
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    Sep 18, 2014 12:54 AM GMT
    David3K saidHes in Lesotho and according to Wikipedia 40% of the population is HIV+, WTF?
    If I were you as a gay guy I would try to move away.


    David you are always ever so helpful! (sarcasm)
    Back in the 80s if you told a Gay man in Minneapolis you were from San Francisco they would just clam up.
    "They have AIDS there!"

    HIV exists everywhere. It isn't where you live it's your behaviour.