Gay clubs / social groups / interest groups

  • Markoni

    Posts: 17

    Sep 15, 2014 12:09 AM GMT
    Hey,

    In order to get to know more gay people you would probably say get a SOCIAL hobby, for example I like cycling, so you would say go find a gay cycling group or whatever. Or some gay sports group in general for that matter.

    While that would be one idea to get to know more gay people, what is according to YOUR EXPERIENCE happening in such groups, and how should one behave?

    What a silly question, but this stigmatization of specifically going to a gay group doesn't motivate me much to go there. On the other hand there's no doubt that someone there is gay, in contrast to the rest of the world.

    Also: what if that is no age-limited group. It'd really turn me off thinking all the 50+ yo (sorry, no offense) are looking at my ass all the time. I'm not into children and I wouldn't want people that could be my dad be into me.

    Anyway I wouldn't want to have anything to do with all the clichés happening in the locker room.

    Oh what the hell, am I just imagining things so I don't have to go out. Or what's going on in my head?

    Ok maybe no sports but music. At least no need to run around in shorts and provocate (yeah I'm that gooood looking pffff....)

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    Sep 15, 2014 2:37 AM GMT
    Gay sports league if available or social hobby is the way to go. People are gonna look, who gives a crap. Have fun, socialize, and make friends.
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    Sep 15, 2014 3:57 AM GMT
    Markoni saidHey,

    In order to get to know more gay people you would probably say get a SOCIAL hobby, for example I like cycling, so you would say go find a gay cycling group or whatever. Or some gay sports group in general for that matter.

    While that would be one idea to get to know more gay people, what is according to YOUR EXPERIENCE happening in such groups, and how should one behave?

    What a silly question, but this stigmatization of specifically going to a gay group doesn't motivate me much to go there. On the other hand there's no doubt that someone there is gay, in contrast to the rest of the world.

    Also: what if that is no age-limited group. It'd really turn me off thinking all the 50+ yo (sorry, no offense) are looking at my ass all the time. I'm not into children and I wouldn't want people that could be my dad be into me.

    Anyway I wouldn't want to have anything to do with all the clichés happening in the locker room.

    Oh what the hell, am I just imagining things so I don't have to go out. Or what's going on in my head?

    Ok maybe no sports but music. At least no need to run around in shorts and provocate (yeah I'm that gooood looking pffff....)

    icon_question.gif

    I think you need to let go of the stereotypes. You'll have better luck meeting people.
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    Sep 15, 2014 4:02 AM GMT
    Markoni saidHey,

    In order to get to know more gay people you would probably say get a SOCIAL hobby, for example I like cycling, so you would say go find a gay cycling group or whatever. Or some gay sports group in general for that matter.

    While that would be one idea to get to know more gay people, what is according to YOUR EXPERIENCE happening in such groups, and how should one behave?

    What a silly question, but this stigmatization of specifically going to a gay group doesn't motivate me much to go there. On the other hand there's no doubt that someone there is gay, in contrast to the rest of the world.

    Also: what if that is no age-limited group. It'd really turn me off thinking all the 50+ yo (sorry, no offense) are looking at my ass all the time. I'm not into children and I wouldn't want people that could be my dad be into me.

    Anyway I wouldn't want to have anything to do with all the clichés happening in the locker room.

    Oh what the hell, am I just imagining things so I don't have to go out. Or what's going on in my head?

    Ok maybe no sports but music. At least no need to run around in shorts and provocate (yeah I'm that gooood looking pffff....)

    icon_question.gif


    You're an ageist douchebag and no one is going to be looking at your stupid ass. Besides, you're fucking THIRTY FIVE. If that's even your real age that is.
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    Sep 15, 2014 4:13 AM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    Markoni saidHey,

    In order to get to know more gay people you would probably say get a SOCIAL hobby, for example I like cycling, so you would say go find a gay cycling group or whatever. Or some gay sports group in general for that matter.

    While that would be one idea to get to know more gay people, what is according to YOUR EXPERIENCE happening in such groups, and how should one behave?

    What a silly question, but this stigmatization of specifically going to a gay group doesn't motivate me much to go there. On the other hand there's no doubt that someone there is gay, in contrast to the rest of the world.

    Also: what if that is no age-limited group. It'd really turn me off thinking all the 50+ yo (sorry, no offense) are looking at my ass all the time. I'm not into children and I wouldn't want people that could be my dad be into me.

    Anyway I wouldn't want to have anything to do with all the clichés happening in the locker room.

    Oh what the hell, am I just imagining things so I don't have to go out. Or what's going on in my head?

    Ok maybe no sports but music. At least no need to run around in shorts and provocate (yeah I'm that gooood looking pffff....)

    icon_question.gif


    You're an ageist douchebag and no one is going to be looking at your stupid ass. Besides, you're fucking THIRTY FIVE. If that's even your real age that is.



    jmsumsc and your buddy David3k have said very ageist things yet you never call the out. Are you obsessed with teenagers and young men? You said that you went with a 21 year old to the movies? Do you have pedophilliac tendencies? Before pointing fingers, make sure your own hands are clean.
  • sideout

    Posts: 57

    Sep 15, 2014 11:37 AM GMT
    Guys let up.
    Guys who join social groups like that are looking for just that - social. They're there to meet people, not out on a manhunt. Some might be but is that any different than going to a gym, or being out at a bar where you may not even get a social aspect?
    I'd say they're worth checking out a few times then if not for you, moving on. It sounds like you want to meet guys to date though so just keep expectations for dating lower, and friends higher, and you will enjoy yourself a lot more.
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    Sep 15, 2014 12:01 PM GMT
    well that nose dived earlier then usual...We need some moderators
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    Sep 15, 2014 12:27 PM GMT
    I do theatre and everyone is pretty much gay, I would say even most of the str8 guys are way more over the top than the gays and thats saying lots coming from me, the amount of times I've rolled my eyes every time a straight guy had his diva moment in the theatre I'm surprised I'm not cross-eyed.

    I did sleep with a guy I was doing a show with he was 18 and I was 25 and I ended up hating him because he was at my house all the time and I never got any alone time so I freaked out one day as I do and got the message across to him and it was then that I realised I'm never fucking anyone from my social group ever again. We're still friends now though and everything is cleared.

    I was on a gay netball team once formed from the people who lived in my apartment, we had two maori, tranny goal shooters on our team and our team was called the Judgenots lol It was a hoot!….If I was going to join another gay sport team I would prefer to play with guys who have a sense of humour, i don't know what Id do if I was around serious people for too long.
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    Sep 15, 2014 3:09 PM GMT
    I don't see the point in seeking gay social groups. Dating is much easier using the internet to find prospects. And I tend to be happier if my friends have common interests. "Gay" is only one interest. If a person has other interests, or a range of interests, it is easier to find people to hang with if one does not limit oneself to their sexual orientation.
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    Sep 15, 2014 4:30 PM GMT
    Go ride your damn bike, meet other cyclists, enjoy riding with them, and be patient. Eventually one of them will be gay, attractive, and into you.
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    Sep 15, 2014 4:33 PM GMT
    Nivek saidI don't see the point in seeking gay social groups. Dating is much easier using the internet to find prospects. And I tend to be happier if my friends have common interests. "Gay" is only one interest. If a person has other interests, or a range of interests, it is easier to find people to hang with if one does not limit oneself to their sexual orientation.
    Same here. I'm not even sure what is meant by "social groups". There are no such groups in Toronto, at least none that I would know about. Not that I'm any good at socializing anyway, most of the time I don't even want to, find it mentally exhausting to be constantly appealing to everyone.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Sep 15, 2014 4:35 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidGo ride your damn bike, meet other cyclists, enjoy riding with them, and be patient. Eventually one of them will be gay, attractive, and into you.

    No, I doubt he will. He is so full of himself and his ridiculous prejudices that my guess is he will die alone blaming the world for being so mean to him.
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    Sep 15, 2014 4:42 PM GMT
    Destinharbor said
    paulflexes saidGo ride your damn bike, meet other cyclists, enjoy riding with them, and be patient. Eventually one of them will be gay, attractive, and into you.

    No, I doubt he will. He is so full of himself and his ridiculous prejudices that my guess is he will die alone blaming the world for being so mean to him.
    He's probably a road biker anyway. Those guys are fuckin' weird. icon_lol.gif
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Sep 15, 2014 4:47 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    Destinharbor said
    paulflexes saidGo ride your damn bike, meet other cyclists, enjoy riding with them, and be patient. Eventually one of them will be gay, attractive, and into you.

    No, I doubt he will. He is so full of himself and his ridiculous prejudices that my guess is he will die alone blaming the world for being so mean to him.
    He's probably a road biker anyway. Those guys are fuckin' weird. icon_lol.gif

    Boy, ya got that right. Except for Triathletes or Ironmen. That I respect. Funny thing is the guy is 35 and talks like a 14 year old girl. Who the hell would want that in any shape or form.
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    Sep 15, 2014 5:16 PM GMT
    Destinharbor said
    paulflexes said
    Destinharbor said
    paulflexes saidGo ride your damn bike, meet other cyclists, enjoy riding with them, and be patient. Eventually one of them will be gay, attractive, and into you.

    No, I doubt he will. He is so full of himself and his ridiculous prejudices that my guess is he will die alone blaming the world for being so mean to him.
    He's probably a road biker anyway. Those guys are fuckin' weird. icon_lol.gif

    Boy, ya got that right. Except for Triathletes or Ironmen. That I respect. Funny thing is the guy is 35 and talks like a 14 year old girl. Who the hell would want that in any shape or form.
    A 14 year old straight boy might like it.
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    Sep 15, 2014 5:38 PM GMT
    Markoni said...

    Oh what the hell, am I just imagining things so I don't have to go out. Or what's going on in my head?

    ...



    I'd say pretty much NOTHING!
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    Sep 15, 2014 6:06 PM GMT
    Destinharbor said
    paulflexes said
    Destinharbor said
    paulflexes saidGo ride your damn bike, meet other cyclists, enjoy riding with them, and be patient. Eventually one of them will be gay, attractive, and into you.

    No, I doubt he will. He is so full of himself and his ridiculous prejudices that my guess is he will die alone blaming the world for being so mean to him.
    He's probably a road biker anyway. Those guys are fuckin' weird. icon_lol.gif

    Boy, ya got that right. Except for Triathletes or Ironmen. That I respect. Funny thing is the guy is 35 and talks like a 14 year old girl. Who the hell would want that in any shape or form.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBFFrsvgu1Y

    This video is actually relevant. You'll laugh, promise.
  • Markoni

    Posts: 17

    Sep 15, 2014 7:16 PM GMT

    Just some comments to the harsher replies:

    "Ageist": maybe, and not without reason. When I'm online the majority of incoming messages are from people way older than me that mainly want XXX. I don't mind them asking. I hope they don't mind me ignoring them. While I like the mental maturity and experience of older people a lot (always have), way older guys wouldn't turn me on a lot. I like to fuck people in my age. You have your preferences, I have mine. Period.

    "Dying alone, blaming the world". Such macho bullshit wouldn't turn me on very much either ;-) I wonder who would fall for that macho crap. In case all the people you know are like that, probably you are very alone, and won't even realize it until it's too late anyway. But I don't care, just like with the age of other people I have my preferences concerning their character.

  • FRE0

    Posts: 4865

    Sep 15, 2014 7:27 PM GMT
    Yesterday I went to a meeting of the Prime Timers which is a national group for gay men over 55; it is a national organization. I was very disappointed. Although there are some very nice people who are obese, I find obesity very unattractive and most of the guys were very obese, including those younger than I. I cannot imagine any of them riding a bicycle or walking for more than a few blocks. That is not the result of age. Rather, it is the result of lack of self-discipline, i.e., the failure to have a good diet, keep one's weight under control, and get adequate exercise. Granted, it is harder for some people than others to remain fit while aging, but 30 years ago obesity was far less common so it cannot be blamed on genetics.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 15, 2014 7:29 PM GMT
    Just be yourself and be comfortable with who you are. You do not always have to try to conform and be like the other people. You want to associate with people that will appreciate you and respect you for who you are as a person.

    Try to remember to treat the other people the way you would like to be treated. If you do not want to associate with other people that is your choice.

    Accepting differences between people and having tolerance for one another can be difficult. Taking the time to learn about one another and understanding each other is important.

    It does not always hurt for you to get to know other people. Eventually over time they may become your acquaintances or friends.
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    Sep 15, 2014 8:13 PM GMT
    I went to a couple of clubs at the SF gay center a while back. It was fun but most of the guys there were just complaining too much about being single. ANother group I joined was the SFGO (outdoors activities group), they have an event each month like ice-skating, water-slide...etc. Guys were complaining about being single there too. Some of the guys went as couple lol. I guess just keep making new friends and putting yourself out there. I didn't really flirt or hook up with any guys from these clubs since I was with my ex at the time. After a while, I got bored and stopped going.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Sep 15, 2014 8:22 PM GMT
    Markoni said
    Just some comments to the harsher replies:

    "Ageist": maybe, and not without reason. When I'm online the majority of incoming messages are from people way older than me that mainly want XXX. I don't mind them asking. I hope they don't mind me ignoring them. While I like the mental maturity and experience of older people a lot (always have), way older guys wouldn't turn me on a lot. I like to fuck people in my age. You have your preferences, I have mine. Period.

    "Dying alone, blaming the world". Such macho bullshit wouldn't turn me on very much either ;-) I wonder who would fall for that macho crap. In case all the people you know are like that, probably you are very alone, and won't even realize it until it's too late anyway. But I don't care, just like with the age of other people I have my preferences concerning their character.


    "Dying alone, blaming the world". No macho bullshit there. It is descriptive of you. Funny how everyone here thinks you're a total prick. You are totally believing that everyone wants you but you can't find anyone. Newflash: No one wants you. Try acting decent and respectful of others and you might find the world is full of great guys.
  • Markoni

    Posts: 17

    Sep 15, 2014 8:35 PM GMT

    Destinharbor said
    Funny how everyone here thinks you're a total prick. You are totally believing that everyone wants you but you can't find anyone. Newflash: No one wants you. Try acting decent and respectful of others and you might find the world is full of great guys.


    Hahahaha, I don't expect anyone to want me. And I wouldn't know who would want you either. icon_biggrin.gif

    I have feelings, if that makes me a prick, so be it.

    I am acting respectful of others (maybe not of you anymore), I'm even trying not to kill the worms on the street after the rain with my fu**ing CYCLO-CROSS bike. There you go.


    pazzy said
    what are you really looking for? you claim you're looking for friends BUT here you are basically admitting that you're focused on sex and dating because you're noticing those people that want that. if you want friends, there's plenty of people that are out there. certainly don't hear you checking out for them or even trying to. stop projecting. you probably think that every guy that says hello to you wants to have sex with you. that is NOT always the case. you might want to stop looking at yourself as a sex object.


    So your question is "What would I be looking for by going to an expiclitely gay group" (be it sports or whatever)?

    Essentially I'm looking to feel well and not to be alone (who wouldn't), maybe meeting really cool people that I share more than just that special activity with. Preferably without having to endure that macho bullshit just like what we see currently here. I just don't have the energy to fight all that shit while they run around laughing all day thinking they are the greatest and the brightest in the world. Gladly on the PC, I can just close the window in such a case.

    I like sex, acquiantances, friends or relationships all the same. I don't care, they all have their pros and cons. However I can't have sex with someone I don't know (and therefore can't even like to the slightest extent). The relationship part (the part up to it) however seems to be full of that macho shit again. I have to play to be the greatest and the coolest and the brightest etc. otherwise noone is interested. I however tend to talk freely, and also about how I feel. But that doesn't seem to interest people. (yeah maybe also because I'm sick, go ahead, blah blah)

    Now from what i have seen, the people you meet online (gayromeo, grindr, whatever) probably are what's left over from the real world, and since they no longer get sex there, they desperately seek it online. And those who aren't looking for sex are waaay overweight or have other issues. (yeah like myself, blah blah)

    Ok, I admit there are exceptions, but they are so rare...

    Finally, when I by coincidence meet people that I like (IRL), they of course are straight and married. Of course, now the machos would say "turn them around". Sorry, not enough energy for those games icon_biggrin.gif
  • johnlyte

    Posts: 20

    Sep 16, 2014 4:04 PM GMT
    I wouldn't suggest joining any " Gay groups" at all. I've joined half of dozen and strongly disliked every one of them. I joined a gay running club and the main purpose of the group was really just to see who could wear the most revealing running outfit. The majority of the men just walked too.

    In all groups, everyone made everything into a sexual reference, they constantly and obviously checked each other and me out( including grabbing ass, pulling shorts and grabbing crotch!) They did nothing but gossip, most of the time talking shit on their own "friends." The main disappointment from all these groups was that it appeared everyone was trying very hard to purposely reinforce the gay stereotype; every single one of them had "the gay voice." It really made me hate gay men for a while. You asked for our own experiences, and this was mine. I don't mean to offend anyone in any way, and if I do, I apologize.

    To meet more gay men, I suggest just meeting more people in general. If you join a club that's accepting of gays, but not gay specific, you're more than likely going to meet gay men ( without having to deal with the bullshit and harassment of a gay group.)
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Nov 18, 2014 11:15 PM GMT
    This guy is the worst of the worst. Ugly inside and ugly outside. No wonder he's alone.