Starved For Attention

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    Sep 15, 2014 6:24 AM GMT
    So has anyone had this problem? You go for so long without anyone hitting on you or flirting with you or even complimenting you that when someone finally DOES do one (or more) of these things, you find yourself fighting the urge to become the creepy call-you-tomorrow person? Or even worse, if it was just in passing and then you have that crash when you come down from feeling awesome and sexy and are left with that empty feeling of "I guess I just wasn't awesome or sexy enough".
    I got complimented on my hair the other day at the coffee shop and it led to this long, slightly flirtatious conversation and then the guy left it with "I'll see you around" and was gone before I could get digits. Even though no digits, I still felt AWESOME for the rest of the day. The next morning I was back to "ugh, i'm hideous" (I know i'm not but you KNOW what I mean).
    Even though there's nothing wrong with being single, I guess its still nice to be hit on every once in a while.

    Any other experiences? Advice? Life mantras?
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    Sep 15, 2014 6:35 AM GMT
    I only get hit on by creepy pictureless profiles on gay apps. icon_confused.gif
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    Sep 15, 2014 6:48 AM GMT
    Humans love to feel desired and validated. It is good to get nice photo comments, hot lists or people from both sexes staring at you once in a while.
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    Sep 15, 2014 6:55 AM GMT
    Yes.

    Advice? Have faith that you are indeed good looking. (And you ARE indeed good looking!)
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    Sep 15, 2014 1:18 PM GMT
    xrichx saidI only get hit on by creepy pictureless profiles on gay apps. icon_confused.gif


    Me? Well...go into your app and find the most hideously obese guy on there, the guy with multiple chins and 400+ pounds to his name. That's the guy who hits on me.
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    Sep 19, 2014 10:33 PM GMT
    Life2Short said
    xrichx saidI only get hit on by creepy pictureless profiles on gay apps. icon_confused.gif


    Me? Well...go into your app and find the most hideously obese guy on there, the guy with multiple chins and 400+ pounds to his name. That's the guy who hits on me.
    Same here, to Both of you. NO ONE has ever hit on me in my life. I've hit on others before, though, to no avail.
    The feeling of being -genuinely- wanted, as opposed to just tolerated, is something I've never really known. Even in just the physical sense.

    If someone was ever excited or happy to see me, I would probably be so moved and break down crying.
  • KittenpasteCo...

    Posts: 245

    Sep 21, 2014 10:44 AM GMT
    I certainly get this way. It's not that I get no attention from people... just that I don't get attention from the people I want it from. Face to face, it's always from women, which has pushed me towards being more feminine (to push them away). I've never been flirted with, in person, by a man... or even complimented. Online, typically much older men (40's and up, ever since I was in my late teens) bother trying to talk to me. Nobody near my age range, with things I could possibly want to relate to. Over the years, this has led me to poisonous interpretations of other people's actions. If a guy is nice to me, I tend to misconstrue his reasons for doing so.
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    Sep 21, 2014 7:28 PM GMT
    Yes but I remind myself that I'm a catch, people have different taste. I'm special to somebody.
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    Sep 22, 2014 1:45 AM GMT
    Usually I just think that I'm just living in the wrong country because no one local has any interest in me.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3521

    Sep 22, 2014 1:53 AM GMT
    Life2Short said
    xrichx saidI only get hit on by creepy pictureless profiles on gay apps. icon_confused.gif


    Me? Well...go into your app and find the most hideously obese guy on there, the guy with multiple chins and 400+ pounds to his name. That's the guy who hits on me.


    hmm...all those negatives and he is STILL better at dating than you because he actually ASKED, what have YOU brought to the table? I believe the appropriate quote that applies, is: "if you are waiting for your ship to come in...make sure you sent one out."
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    Sep 22, 2014 4:04 AM GMT
    ISOMB87 saidUsually I just think that I'm just living in the wrong country because no one local has any interest in me.


    This.

    I get so much more attention (and better attention) when I'm traveling outside the United States.

    Also, Grindr seems to work much better outside the U.S. because guys actually want to meet for a drink, go out to a club, or just hang out. I stopped using Grindr here in the U.S. when I went to meet a guy and when he came to the door he was already naked and lubed up. Ick!
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    Sep 22, 2014 4:28 AM GMT
    GAMRican saidI get so much more attention (and better attention) when I'm traveling outside the United States.

    Also, Grindr seems to work much better outside the U.S. because guys actually want to meet for a drink, go out to a club, or just hang out. I stopped using Grindr here in the U.S. when I went to meet a guy and when he came to the door he was already naked and lubed up. Ick!


    yeah ew. and very interesting about the outside-the-U.S. difference.

    i think that, outside of a very few ridiculous good looking guys, most guys don't get constant attention/compliments. and i'm starting to get the feeling that most of the guys at my gym are more interested in looking at themselves than anyone else :p
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    Sep 22, 2014 8:17 AM GMT
    ISOMB87 saidUsually I just think that I'm just living in the wrong country because no one local has any interest in me.

    No, you aren't. It's just grass is always greener.
    Even in cities like Berlin, which is supposed to be far more tolerable and accepting, I come across profile with typical preference lines. One guy who sent me a message had on his profile NO ASIANS and WHORES. In Australia it is/was quite common to see NO RICE, NO CURRY.
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    Sep 22, 2014 11:46 AM GMT
    morphic said
    ISOMB87 saidUsually I just think that I'm just living in the wrong country because no one local has any interest in me.

    No, you aren't. It's just grass is always greener.
    Even in cities like Berlin, which is supposed to be far more tolerable and accepting, I come across profile with typical preference lines. One guy who sent me a message had on his profile NO ASIANS and WHORES. In Australia it is/was quite common to see NO RICE, NO CURRY.


    That's interesting on what you said about Australia. I have read several blogs on how difficult it is for many gay Asian Australians to find a date. I would love to visit Australia but the gay scene there is most likely an experience I will pass on.
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    Sep 22, 2014 12:27 PM GMT
    ughh……This guy in my class told me he's bisexual but I actually think he's just str8 but told me to get a reaction out of me because he likes the attention and gets an ego boost when I flirt with him. I flirt with people but its more about me boosting their confidence and coming off as confident, like when he told me he was bisexual is immediately closed my eyes and puckered my lips and told him to kiss me in class and he backed away, I liked keeping him in place. So a couple of weeks back he msgs me on Facebook and told me that he likes me and I was like "for fucks sake" and I just let the msg sit there for a second and I stupidly wrote back "I like you more" ;) with a wink just for the sakes of boosting his ego and then the next day at school I got really weird and ignored him and now were not talking which is annoying because I really just like him as a friend….Some people flirt for fun but when someone says they like me it kind of raises red flags for me lol I'm pretty naive in the flirting arena