what do you guys think?

  • BlakeWind

    Posts: 61

    Sep 16, 2014 12:49 AM GMT
    Hey guys,

    I have been dating this guy going on 7 months now. We both have a lot of love and care for eachother. Anyway, when i first met this guy, his dream was to move to seattle. He has been wanting this for about 6 years now. but there were certain life situation that forced him to stay. But he was finally able to get those situations fixed. I'm really happy for him, that he gets to follow his dream. but im also very hurt and distraught. Because he really wants to move to seattle in february. I am unable to go in february due to it being the middle of the school semester. I really wanted to go with him to seattle, so i asked him if he could wait for me to move there. All i would need is a few months so school can get out. I asked him if he could wait until may. and he doesn't think thats fair to ask him such a thing. saying that he has no reason to wait, and hes waited long enough, blah blah blah. I just really wanted some extra input. What do you guys think? Do you think its fair or unfair for me to ask him to wait 3 extra months to move there? Iv just been feeling so empty inside since this whole ordeal came around. sigh icon_sad.gif. Any input is super appreciated.
  • dustinj4mes

    Posts: 29

    Sep 16, 2014 12:51 AM GMT
    I mean, you guys haven't been dating that long. I think you should let him do what he wants to do without questioning it and if it's meant to be then you'll be out there with him when you are able to do so. Just go with the flow and let it happen. icon_smile.gif
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    Sep 16, 2014 1:02 AM GMT
    Nothing wrong with asking, but beyond that all you will do is poison the well. You happened to meet him during a transitional phase in his life that was already in process when you met. Keep in touch and see how things work out between you two.

    Or as Cole Porter would say:

    If we'd thought of it 'bout the end of it
    When we started painting that town
    We'd have been aware that our love affair
    Was too hot not to cool down

    So goodbye, dear, and Amen
    Here's hoping we'll meet now and then
    It was great fun
    But it was just, just one of those things
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    Sep 16, 2014 1:37 AM GMT
    6 years...Seattle
    Really
    Florida for Seattle--Really?
    "Certain life situation"; how cryptic icon_lol.gif

    This can't end well.
    I say that because my Ginger Brear said, "I don't care where we live as long as I'm with you" when I asked him to move back to Texas, also because I think you'll hate it there if you have any love for sun at all.
    How hot is he?
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    Sep 17, 2014 2:23 AM GMT
    just move 3 months after he has moved there.. no biggie ^_^ if he realli likes u then he wud wait for u no matter wat icon_smile.gif
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    Sep 17, 2014 3:32 AM GMT
    I think you're being just a little unreasonable. This is about him and his goals, not about you. You've only been together 7 months. He shouldn't be expected to put his 6 year long dreams on hold b/c it would make you feel better. You're busy with school anyway.
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    Sep 17, 2014 4:02 AM GMT
    huhwhat saidI think you're being just a little unreasonable. This is about him and his goals, not about you. You've only been together 7 months. He shouldn't be expected to put his 6 year long dreams on hold b/c it would make you feel better. You're busy with school anyway.


    Agreed! In addition, the OP hasn't told us as to why he wants his bf to stay. There has to be other reasons other than he wants to be close to his bf. My guess? The OP is afraid of losing his bf to a long distance relationship.
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    Sep 17, 2014 9:49 AM GMT
    huhwhat saidI think you're being just a little unreasonable. This is about him and his goals, not about you. You've only been together 7 months. He shouldn't be expected to put his 6 year long dreams on hold b/c it would make you feel better. You're busy with school anyway.


    I agree.
    It's only three extra months, it'll take him some time get himself settled and you'll be busy with school.
    Before you know it the three months will be up and then you can move.

    If it's something he's been wanting for 6 years, even a few extra months will just seem like an eternity of waiting.
    Plus even if he did stay, you don't want him to grow resentment towards you. There are compromises and sacrifices in relationships sure, but personally I'd feel making this kind of a sacrifice at just 7 months into a relationship is asking for a bit much.

    For me the bigger picture is that since it's just 3 months apart and you'll both be busy, I don't think it's a big issue.
    It's his dream after all so try see it from his perspective.
    If anything, in the event that the relationship does break down so rapidly within those three months, it's probably a sign that it might not have turned out to be a good relationship in the long run.
  • jlly_rnchr

    Posts: 1759

    Sep 17, 2014 12:15 PM GMT
    Go visit him in May. See if distance made the heart grow fonder. Then think about moving there.
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    Sep 17, 2014 12:30 PM GMT
    Have you ever been to Seattle? Have you checked out the job market there? Would you consider it a good move if your bf weren't in the picture?
    You ought to be asking yourself these questions because your bf is making it clear that the move to Seattle is a higher priority to him than you are.
    There are lots of old RJ threads with tales of woe about relationships that tanked after moves like this one.
    I too once moved with someone and got dumped at the airport. So make sure the move makes sense for reasons other than hanging on to your bf. And above all finish school first.
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    Sep 17, 2014 2:53 PM GMT
    jlly_rnchr saidGo visit him in May. See if distance made the heart grow fonder. Then think about moving there.


    Short,sweet and straight to the point. Best advice you'll get on this topic.
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    Sep 25, 2014 7:47 PM GMT
    TexDef07 saidI too once moved with someone and got dumped at the airport.

    ouch =7 that´s fucked up men...

    to the OP
    if he likes you vise versa it´s manageble, 3 months is nothing, plus you can visit him at least once a month, as said before, this is actualy good, if he really likes you he will wait for you and not mess around or move on to another guy, gives you a reason to see how relationship material he is, he could have also waited but seems a little unfair, we all need to make money and future, how else is he going to live or even help you as a partner
    best of luck
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    Sep 28, 2014 3:03 PM GMT
    It's the best if he moves alone, moving is very stressful and you are not together for that long. It's not fair to ask him to wait imo, he plans it for years. If he wants you he'll wait for you, if he didn't it's better find out now. He won't have time to date anyway..
    Good luck, man!