Wyndahoi said...the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship was when the victim tries to leave. Abuse is usually about control more than anything. The abuser fears losing control so will go to extreme measures to keep it if the abused tries to leave...
Sometimes these people are born into your life. I had an xcousin abuser who was raised as my friend and was the only person I ever took abuse from until she finally crossed that line that you just don't come back from. And my brother has one now in his life for his life, my adopted nephew, who might even have a bit of sociopathy, only there is no line. Not that they haven't pretty much all been crossed--the stories are horrific--but he's their kid. So they're stuck with that abusiveness in their life.
And sometimes people can fool you. You don't know how abusive they are until you wind up in their scope.
Thus the internet stalker, an example of the truth in Wyndahoi's statement. I wound up with one on this very forum that many of you have probably noticed constantly making an ass of himself, Bon_Salieri or Antonio_Pan, something like that. A total phoney, but charming on the surface, he likes to flatter people right before he takes to pissing on them.
So these things aren't always avoidable. The forum douchebag I can just walk away from with no feelings toward him. He's recognized garbage. My xcousin, though she's some good qualities, I can walk away from her abuse but I will always be torn because the love I've known for her since I was a babe doesn't stop. My brother and sister in law can never even walk away from their abusive kid. They're totally stuck in that relationship. I can walk away from the kid to some degree--like I could walk away from their kids after winding them up right before bedtime when they were little, ooops--but they can't. They're stuck.
So to the OP's OP, I think sometimes you can't prevent it. You do your best though, assuming you don't indulge in S&M which I find horrifying to the soul. Sometimes the best we can do is try and minimize it. Online abusers, ya click ignore. Someone in real life, ya walk away, depending there though on the relations. And then in a situation like with my nephew, you work like hell to give the kid as many tools of living as he can manage in the hopes that he doesn't hurt himself or kill anyone else.
Life can be tough and often tragic. So it is when people manufacture extra horseshit of their own and export that into the world that we truly see their despicable despair.
Hey Bon_Salieri, just in case by some slim chance you happen to be stalking me still...
I thought you'd get off on knowing that. Oh, and while you're having an orgasm to your fantasy of a good-hearted person thinking you are despicable, why don't you go fuck yourself. Thanx.