Should I Just Move Back Home at this Point?

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    Sep 17, 2014 4:00 AM GMT
    I'm wondering, after struggling to get my professional footing in NYC after nearly 4 years now if it's time to just move home and reevaluate things. I was somewhat successful at establishing a life here with a 2.5 year relationship with my ex who I though I'd build a life with but he didn't want that and thought NYC was too expensive to settle down in (I think he might be right) so I had to continue on my own path and keep plugging away.

    I've been working in a low paying office position (1/2 the standard pay for a normal entry level job) for longer than I should have and know I'm probably falling behind my peers financially. They seem to have stable careers at Fortune 500 companies, are jetting off on overseas vacations (very popular for people my age) and have thousands of dollars saved for a future home, etc... I'm not even sure if I'll be able to pay for a flight to see my family this Thanksgiving for the first time since moving here. icon_eek.gif That and other concerns (still no solid group of friends or offers for a real job after multiple interviews) is making me question whether it's even wise to stay in NYC and hold out. It has been a life goal to live here but living here at nearly poverty level and having no savings or even health insurance was not part of that goal.... Plus, that's not being a responsible adult and is probably causing long term consequences to my future I haven't considered yet (opportunity cost of living somewhere cheaper and building up savings account, less competition for real jobs, etc...)

    Though I'm out and on good terms with my family I'm also concerned about the possibility of moving back home. Playing that scenario out would be going through the process of getting of selling things in my apartment that don't fit in a carry on bag; that would be really sad since each item I own has a memory. Then there's being both unemployed AND living in my childhood room in the suburb I grew up in- at 28 which is a pathetic situation IMO: possibly regretting the decision to quit my job and move back home. I'd probably honestly feel like I gave up.

    I know there's a lot of people who have been through this before, maybe some people even moved back home. 1/2 of me feels I'm not looking in the right place or don't know what I should for interviews to get that real salary that can actually keep me afloat in NYC. It could be a small shift of thought even and uncovering opportunities that I didn't even consider. I'm thinking about the thousands of actor's, artists, entrepreneurial types and other young people who seem to making a living here bartending, consulting, dog walking, freelancing, gigs that can actually pay bills and then some (other than porn) etc and them knowing something I don't. Not everyone in NYC (and other high cost major cities) works in office jobs; maybe I'm too focused on that slice of the local economy?

    IDK... feeling stuck with one foot in and one foot out right now.
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    Sep 17, 2014 4:11 AM GMT
    Yes.
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    Sep 17, 2014 4:18 AM GMT
    Don't give up boo. Stick it out until you are almost homeless. Go live somewhere where the rent is cheaper. Get another job. Just go forward, nor backwards. Do u really think all your problems will be solved moving back? Seems like you will just meet new ones. Life is in a never ending state of flux. Some days will be good, some bad. Just make the most of what you got.

    Remember this; comparison is the root of all unhappiness...
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    Sep 17, 2014 4:19 AM GMT
    jmusmc85, agree. Though maybe not with the almost homeless part, that's a bit extreme.

    43rueperronet saidWhere is home?


    Burbs of Chicago. Not the hardest place to find a job but I remember comparing unemployment rates and NYC had a lower one and more opportunities. The economy in Chicago very back in 2010 seemed to have stopped and IL was (is still?) on the verge of declaring bankruptcy which partly gave me the push to finally move here.

    It was a lot easier to find a jobs in NYC only a month or so after moving here when the economy was tanking in other parts of the nation ironically...

    1 yes for moving back and 1 for sticking it out so far.
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    Sep 17, 2014 4:25 AM GMT
    So Chicago or NYC are the only two choices on the planet? If nothing in the real world appeals to you at all, you could always go to LaLa Land for a season.
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    Sep 17, 2014 4:35 AM GMT
    You stated something you need to think hard about:

    " I'd probably honestly feel like I gave up."

    That is the foundation of survival. What you do from here on out at your age is NOT your destination. Whatever you have to do make sure it is to survive. Happiness comes and goes. But you won't have any of it if you don't survive. Follow your inner self at all times. You will know what you are capable of and what you are not capable of if you listen to your inner self. There is NO way I can tell you what to do in this. ONLY YOU KNOW. I have been there believe me. I'm still there actually but I have learned to live with it. Hate to see you lose your belongings but just KNOW in your head that the memories DO NOT go away on those things. They will still comfort you with or without them.
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    Sep 17, 2014 4:37 AM GMT
    Id be rich if australia worked on the tip system
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    Sep 17, 2014 4:47 AM GMT
    There are a couple of points, (1) don’t compare your life to your friends. Remember, you are to be in competition with no one but yourself. Once you start doing that, you’ll start to excel professionally (ask me how I know) and (2) moving isn't going to make your problems go away. NYC is a place where it can be done, you just need to want it to the point where you can’t stand it, and remember what great skills you bring to the table (keep your ambition). If you’d like to go on a vacation, squirrel away $10.00 a paycheck until you can afford it, you’ll appreciate it more whenever you do go; promise. If you’re feeling like you are spinning your wheels, go on a mini-solo vacation to do some self-reflection and come back recharged, better than ever. Perhaps you might have to do something you don’t like for a little while that is a little more lucrative. My vote: Stay.
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    Sep 17, 2014 5:08 AM GMT
    moving back with the P's as an adult, I remember it well, but at least I was still within the same 20 mile radius, so it wasn't that bad, but the gay thing did kind of get in the way, now that I have established my self in another state, with my own stuff I couldn't imagine doing it again, god forbid and I hated the state where im from anyway. It worked out anyway because when I moved back in with my mother, not because anything I did, but just the economy and lost my home, she was ill with her cancer and I took care of her, did her chores and shopping until I moved again out of state a year later, I had put all my stuff in her garage for storage till I figured out what I was doing next. NY may not have been the first choice to move to so young, state to state without something firm first. Unless you had the ambitions of Madge Madonna, If you like the area, try moving someplace close, cheaper, to the west, or north, in a neighboring city, you don't have to live in Manhattan on your budget!
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    Sep 17, 2014 5:52 AM GMT
    I suggest otherwise. You might as well figure things out on your own.

    Maybe re-evaluate why you chose to stay in NY rather than leave with your ex since, I suppose that was an option.

    Also you have to imagine your peers networks as part of their stories and their ability to embellish or interest towards that end. "Acres of Fakers"

    reminds me of Santogold
    "Must hurt real bad faking what you wish you had"


    I dunno you read independent; be careful giving that up.
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    Sep 17, 2014 4:18 PM GMT
    Can't discern from the OP that you have career or vocation goals. It's hard to succeed if you are not committed to something. Maybe some sort of career counseling at this point? Real estate marketing? Study for and get a real estate license? Successful ones make tons of money in NYC.Extra cash? Do you need more education for a career type job? Take a second part-time job for a while? You are still young.
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    Sep 17, 2014 5:11 PM GMT
    Omega_Einhorne saidId be rich if australia worked on the tip system



    There's no requirement to tip in Australia

    It's just a discretionary thing if people feel that they've had good service, It's the easiest way for diners here to say thanks.



    Unlike the US, where waiters earn a measly hourly wage ($4.79), or only work for tips, Australian waiters earn a fixed amount ($17.96 an hour is the national minimum award wage) and tips are seen as a bonus .

    On average, a full-time waiter in a Melbourne or Sydney restaurant can average about $250 to $500 in WEEKLY TIPS , more for really top-end places, where staff can earn closer to $600 or $700.

    As an Aussie sharing my life between Australia and the U.S , i can tell you that servers in the U.S would gladly switch their pay with their Australian workmates .