Humor stories, have one share it

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 18, 2014 3:42 AM GMT
    Four gentlemen are sitting at a table playing a game of poker and one says to the others

    Gentleman 1 - "I'm so proud of my son, hes so successful. He became the CEO of a multimillion dollar company and by celebrating he bought his best friend the most expensive car in the world"

    Gentleman 2 - "thats great my son became a partner at a very prestigious law firm and he bought his best friend a mansion in a gated community"

    Gentleman 3 - "well my son became a billionaire when his company went public and he bought his friend his private jet"

    Gentleman 3 looked at gentleman 4 "what does your son do and is he successful?" Gentleman 4 got up to go use the toilet and turned to face the gentlemen and smiled

    Gentleman 4 - "oh my son..well I'm proud of my son. You see hes an exotic dancer" smiling

    "oh my, I'm so sorry to hear that" said gentleman 2

    Gentleman 4 - "no need to be sorry, like I said I'm very proud of my son. He now lives in a mansion in a gated community, drives the most expensive car in the word and when he goes on vacation he takes me with him on his private jet"

    All three of the gentlemen looked at each with a gasp look on their face. As gentleman 4 walked away with a big smile on his face.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 18, 2014 9:12 PM GMT

    A blonde guy is in the bathroom and his brunette boyfriend shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?"
    He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine."
    ------------------------------...
    A blonde guy goes to the vet with his goldfish.
    "I think it's got epilepsy," he tells the vet.
    The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me."
    The blonde guy says, "Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet."
    ------------------------------------
    A blonde guy spies a letter lying on his doormat.
    It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ".
    He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
    ------------------------------------
    A blonde guy was driving home, drunk as a skunk. Suddenly he has to swerve
    To avoid a tree, then another, then another.
    A cop car pulls him over, so he tells the cop about all the trees in the
    Road.
    The cop says, "That's your air freshener swinging about!"
    ------------------------------------
    A blonde guy's dog goes missing and he is frantic. His boyfriend says "Why don't
    You put an ad in the paper?"
    He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.
    "What did you put in the paper?" his boyfriend asks.
    "Here boy!" he replies.
    ------------------------------------
    A blonde guy is in jail. The guard looks in his cell and sees him
    Hanging by his feet.
    "Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.
    "Hanging myself," the blonde replies.
    "The rope should be around your neck" says the guard.
    "I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe."
    ------------------------------------
    (This one actually makes sense.)
    An Italian tourist asks a blonde guy: "Why do scuba divers always fall
    Backwards off their boats?" To which the blonde man replies: "If they fell
    Forward, they'd still be in the boat."
    --------------------------------------
    A friend told the blonde guy: "Christmas is on a Friday this year."
    The blonde guy then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."
    ------------------------------------
    Two blonde men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police
    Station.
    One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"
    The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."
    ------------------------------------
    A woman phoned her blonde neighbor guy and said: "Close your curtains the
    Next time you & your boyfriend are having sex. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."
    To which the blonde guy replied: "Well the joke's on all of you because I wasn't even at home yesterday."