Crush on a Guy at Work

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 19, 2014 3:46 AM GMT
    There's a guy at work who I don't work with, thankfully, who I've developed a bit of a crush on.... he's gay also so that just makes it worse.

    He's cute and is my "type" The really annoying thing (other than me not being able to ask him if he's single since that's unprofessional) is out office is an open office and my computer screen faces him across the room and he sits sideways so I' m even more tempted to steal glances since he doesn't notice, I don't think.. sort of distracting icon_mad.gif

    If we were at a bar or cafe, any other setting than work I'd def hit on him but it's the workplace and flirting with co-workers is not advisable according to most. I remind myself that there's guys in this city who are like him or better to diminish any growing infatuation...

    Has anyone gone through this before? What did you do?
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    Sep 19, 2014 4:43 AM GMT
    This is the 21st century.
    You live in one of the most progressive cities in the world for LGBT living.
    Straight people, for generations, have met the loves of their lives at work.
    What are you waiting for?

    Go for it. (Off the clock, of course)
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    Sep 19, 2014 4:57 AM GMT

    My work guy crushes always turn out to be straight, I have horrible sense icon_lol.gif
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Sep 19, 2014 5:00 AM GMT
    The only real issues of dating in the office are: is there a possibility that one of you may become the manager of the other and how will you handle forced association if you date and it ends badly. You've indicated you're not really achieving to your potential in this job. Maybe it's time to take a risk.
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    Sep 19, 2014 10:32 AM GMT
    Usually workplace hookups are a bad idea...

    But my bf used to work for me. I tried hard not to let it happen, but the heart and dick want what the heart and dick want... And we both wanted it to work, so we made it work..

    He chose to take a different job, just so we didn't need to keep our relationship a secret anymore, but were still together..

    I know this kind of story of "office love" is rare, but sometimes the risk is worth it.

    I say go for it.
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    Sep 19, 2014 1:09 PM GMT
    I used to work at a restaurant that only had gay people working there, I don't know why but there was an Irish girl who worked there and she would turn every str8 girl gay who worked there. I slept with 3 guys that worked there and even customers lol

    Just go for it, you guys could be banging between breaks!!!
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    Sep 19, 2014 1:17 PM GMT
    the OP is handling it super well.

    I am sure the OP will have a handle on the emotions.

    Keep in mind if things go REALLY bad you will still have to stare at him across the room.

    The best thing you could do is immediately find a BF of your dreams outside work
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    Sep 19, 2014 5:15 PM GMT
    some places realli dont care about co-workers seeing each other.. :s depends on the place i feel.. unless they purposely have a rule stating "NO DATING AMONG COWORKERS" then i say u shud give it a shot.

    I know many people who have met and fell in love in the workplace and are happily married. The key to dating a coworker is differentiating between work and relationship. If you have a good understanding and know you can handle that then go ahead. BUT now if you guys do date and then breakup. That would be awkward icon_smile.gif
  • Aleco_Graves

    Posts: 708

    Sep 20, 2014 1:50 AM GMT
    This never ends well... Ever

    I usually try and focus on something about that person i dont like and it keeps my head straight
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Sep 20, 2014 2:58 AM GMT
    don't do it buddy. it never ends well
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    Sep 20, 2014 4:38 AM GMT
    I actually have a crush on an intern, but NO WAY
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Sep 20, 2014 4:59 AM GMT
    Go for the intern! ^^^ They're brought in for sexual pleasure and enjoyment. Job perk!
  • Trauts

    Posts: 1012

    Sep 20, 2014 5:21 AM GMT
    Ask him out for lunch already! If you don't get this out of the way, its probably gonna distract you at work.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 20, 2014 8:09 AM GMT
    OMG, just grow a pair will you... icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 20, 2014 12:49 PM GMT
    A good rule of thumb:
    Don't shit where you eat.
    One of the quickest ways to make work unbearable is to mix your personal life into it.
    Keep work strictly professional that way nobody can question your work ethic.

    At the end of the day it's up to you but even though he's gay I still wouldn't.
    Straight men get into trouble for making those kind of advances towards women in the work place, so it's not different just because it's two guys.
    Plus you don't want that kind of reputation circling around your workplace.

    Better safe than sorry. There are other gay men who are also cute that you don't work with.
  • Kinneticbrian

    Posts: 230

    Sep 20, 2014 4:48 PM GMT
    One of the things I have always made sure to do is maintain a level of distance and propriety between co-workers and myself. No matter how attractive I might find a guy, work is just not the place for it.

    Aside from the well stated HR/personal issues that can result, there's also the idea of work still surrounding you even when you aren't there. Two friends of mine are a couple who both work for an unnamed corporation. It doesn't matter what the social setting - they constantly talk about work. They're there, even on weekends and holidays.

    Consider the risk and do what you determine is right.
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    Sep 20, 2014 10:29 PM GMT
    tuffguyndc saiddon't do it buddy. it never ends well
    Confirmed...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 21, 2014 5:21 AM GMT
    Stop looking at him. ..... you have lot of work pending. ....
  • prhj5841

    Posts: 103

    Nov 02, 2015 3:25 AM GMT
    I have a crush on a guy from school how should I handle it I need some help please ? This class mate & I are friends so should I bring up that I have feelings for him or should I push my feelings under the rug & find some 1 else ? So what should I do help me please ?
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 872

    Nov 02, 2015 4:46 PM GMT
    Generalizations won't help here.

    Some business environments are very tolerant towards any kind of amorous relationships among the employees, workers, freelancers, contractors, etc..

    Other companies yet, insist on keeping the romance out of the working place.

    If anything, the trend is away from the conservative view here towards more permissive attitudes.

    When you come to think about it, you are putting a bunch of relatively young folks together for hours and days on an end. Nature dictates that some sexual attraction will rise, and that some of it will find its outlet one way or the other.

    No one here says that you now have to start a binding, all-romantic, life-long LTR with this guy. But movies and a dinner or couple of drinks and some talk won't usher the end of the western civilization as we know iticon_rolleyes.gif

    SC
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 04, 2015 10:03 PM GMT
    >OP -
    Is this a guy in Chicago, where you have moved? OR in NYC, from where you have now left behind?