First time was embarrassing....

  • Markz0ne45

    Posts: 59

    Sep 19, 2014 11:02 PM GMT
    I need some help...Literally. Because last night was the first time I had sex and I am in some minor pain, although I don't regret the sex last night because it was 2 hours of just raw fun. It was basically a one night stand with this older asian man. He's like 28 and I didn't go to a bar or some setting like that. It was a gay meetup that one of my friends organized and we had about 25 people just drinking and getting high. So I spent my time playing video games with this one man and we eventually got into each other.

    It was him who put the moves on me. So although I was nervous, I knew it was a night to have fun and I wasn't going to pass it up. We left at 2AM and I spent the night at his place. We had sex in the morning and without getting into to much detail. He wasn't really passive. This guy wasn't hurting me, but he was encouraging me to stop being a baby. Like I would be crying from some anal pain and he would eventually stop and sort of make some jokes, tell me to man up.

    He is hot and I want him to just do me all over again. He's just really aggressive. But early in the morning we went to bed at 6AM and went out to lunch at 1.

    I just feel a little controlled. Because it's almost as if he was aware of what he was doing, we didn't drink much.
  • 1blind_dog

    Posts: 376

    Sep 20, 2014 4:55 AM GMT
    Give it a week or so. You'll be ready again and it won't hurt as much, though, I have some concern for his lack of acknowledgment for how it felt at the time. He may like your ass more than you. If you do it again just start slow, use plenty of lube, and find a position YOU like.
  • vhotti26

    Posts: 287

    Sep 20, 2014 6:54 AM GMT
    Bottoming hurts for the first time(s), that's just one of the facts of life. i would, however, question your intention to do it again with that guy if he was really aggressive. Aggressive tops don't make good first time sex partners. You need someone who can make you feel at ease and relaxed.
  • Markz0ne45

    Posts: 59

    Sep 20, 2014 1:34 PM GMT
    Well he called me again, he wants to hang out more often from when we talked. He just wants to eat together tonight and go to his place with some of his friends. He didn't mention sex, he said he just wanted to know me more personally. He was sorry for being aggressive . He just said he was horny and since he was into me he got out of control.
  • jaroslav123

    Posts: 600

    Sep 20, 2014 1:49 PM GMT
    First time I tried to have sex, it didn't fit, it was too big.

    I was literally chuckling whilst he was attempting to push himself inside me. The whole situation was just so ridiculously comic.

    Honestly. There is comedy in the most embarrassing of things. Sex can actually be awkward and funny for the most part. If you don't have a laugh whilst your doing it and aren't completely comfortable with the other person to the extent that you can casually giggle whilst fucking - then you should be doing so...Sex is hilarious. Mind you, that's probably just me. I imagine most gay men take sex so seriously.

    LAUGH.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4434

    Sep 20, 2014 3:42 PM GMT
    I laugh all the time in sex. If you have any imagination and are trying new things, eventually you'll try something that just is nuts. We'll make love from time to time but crazy-sexy is the norm.

    To the OP-- you really shouldn't be crying during sex. There will be some pain here and there but that's part of it. Learn to control the speed of him entering you. Perfectly ok to tell him to hold while you relax and get ready for more. And laugh. Enjoy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 20, 2014 4:09 PM GMT
    Destinharbor saidI laugh all the time in sex. If you have any imagination and are trying new things, eventually you'll try something that just is nuts. We'll make love from time to time but crazy-sexy is the norm.

    To the OP-- you really shouldn't be crying during sex. There will be some pain here and there but that's part of it. Learn to control the speed of him entering you. Perfectly ok to tell him to hold while you relax and get ready for more. And laugh. Enjoy.

    You describe my own attitude when I was single very well. I love gay sex (and I've had the straight to compare icon_razz.gif ), just have so much fun.

    And yeah, you need a top who you can trust, who can be patient and go slow when you're not ready for him yet. And who uses tons of lube.

    But I do have to ask the OP if this top used a condom. Did he?
  • Markz0ne45

    Posts: 59

    Sep 22, 2014 4:42 AM GMT
    He did use protection. But when it came to oral, well no. We are just spending time hanging out more together now. So I really think he wants to know me better and he's been acting the same as we were when we had sex.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Sep 22, 2014 4:58 AM GMT
    Markz0ne45 saidHe did use protection. But when it came to oral, well no. We are just spending time hanging out more together now. So I really think he wants to know me better and he's been acting the same as we were when we had sex.

    He wants some more of that tight virgin ass
  • Markz0ne45

    Posts: 59

    Sep 22, 2014 5:08 AM GMT
    AMoonHawk said
    Markz0ne45 saidHe did use protection. But when it came to oral, well no. We are just spending time hanging out more together now. So I really think he wants to know me better and he's been acting the same as we were when we had sex.

    He wants some more of that tight virgin ass


    Lol he most likely does. After 10 minutes being topped felt natural, but it did hurt for some time. I hope he wants more than sex. Also he opened me uppretty well, i'm not tight.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 22, 2014 5:40 AM GMT
    Buy a set of dildos in graduated sizes. Work yourself open in the privacy of your home. As you are able to take larger dildos, your issue with anal pain should diminish.

    Open yourself up and lube yourself up before your next date so that you're better prepared for his onslaught.

    Honestly, he sounds like a sloppy top who doesn't know how to use (or appreciate) a virgin bottom.