MartyredNeons saidJust to add to what the OP said, one of the hardest things to overcome is knowing what the expectations are out there, and then realising you cannot within yourself reach them.
Everything about me is far from perfect, albeit it's my own self-deprecation talking, but I'd say there are few things about me that are satisfactory.
I suppose that's the reason why all I ever do is just focus on things that I enjoy doing instead of thinking about the societal expectations that are placed on me and trying to meet them.
Also, I can understand why it seems so prominent in the world of gay men.
Men in general are much more naturally superficial I think, so in a setting where men are competing to attract other men, the superficiality becomes amplified.
I'll admit just to be honest here, there are tons of things I'd surgically fix on myself if money were not an issue, but since that is not an option for me I've learned to accept it and try focus on other things. At least until maybe one day somehow I can afford it lol.
But seriously though, do you think you would want to change these things about yourself if society didn't expect these things from you?
It started from societal expectations but I quickly grew tired of that. Now I feel that I'd want it just for me rather than an attempt at finding acceptance in the gay community or the general society.
If I happened to have something done tomorrow I'd end up just keeping to myself. People always bag out those who get work done on themselves when it's obvious. If it looks good then people hardly care, but if it doesn't the person ends up being judged for trying 'too hard' when really the good job and the bad job were both seeking the same thing essentially.
Society generally are more willing to overlook such things only if it turned out well.
What can you do though? The world has always and will always value looks over a lot of things. The key here is finding someone highly reputable and then saving lol. Those with natural good looks are blessed, the rest just have to accept it or try do something about it. As I said before, if money weren't an issue I'd choose the latter.
To each their own I guess.