Why are so many Gay men always 'Chasing the Dragon' of never ending pleasure

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 21, 2014 10:19 AM GMT
    Gay men seem to be forever seeking the ultimate pleasure experience leading many continually seeking the bigger cock, better skin,skinnier waist ect but never being satisfied due to begin locked in a never ending search for the perfect guy they will never get
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    Sep 21, 2014 12:23 PM GMT
    This isn`t just confined to gay men trust me. Straight men are just as bad.
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    Sep 21, 2014 1:23 PM GMT
    Just to add to what the OP said, one of the hardest things to overcome is knowing what the expectations are out there, and then realising you cannot within yourself reach them.
    Everything about me is far from perfect, albeit it's my own self-deprecation talking, but I'd say there are few things about me that are satisfactory.

    I suppose that's the reason why all I ever do is just focus on things that I enjoy doing instead of thinking about the societal expectations that are placed on me and trying to meet them.

    ---EDIT---
    Also, I can understand why it seems so prominent in the world of gay men.
    Men in general are much more naturally superficial I think, so in a setting where men are competing to attract other men, the superficiality becomes amplified.

    I'll admit just to be honest here, there are tons of things I'd surgically fix on myself if money were not an issue, but since that is not an option for me I've learned to accept it and try focus on other things. At least until maybe one day somehow I can afford it lol.
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    Sep 21, 2014 1:25 PM GMT
    Sydneyrugbyjock73 saidGay men seem to be forever seeking the ultimate pleasure experience leading many continually seeking the bigger cock, better skin,skinnier waist ect but never being satisfied due to begin locked in a never ending search for the perfect guy they will never get


    I think this has more to do with the chemical exchange in neurotransmitters in the brains of men and women in general. I believe it's called the coolidge effect and it affects other mammals as well.

    This isn't limited to gays alone.
  • AWashingtonia...

    Posts: 128

    Sep 21, 2014 2:15 PM GMT
    Sydneyrugbyjock73 saidGay men seem to be forever seeking the ultimate pleasure experience leading many continually seeking the bigger cock, better skin,skinnier waist ect but never being satisfied due to begin locked in a never ending search for the perfect guy they will never get




    This is more germane to the Human Condition. All people do it. Maybe one social group is more honest about it than others.
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    Sep 21, 2014 2:24 PM GMT
    Sydneyrugbyjock73 saidGay men seem to be forever seeking the ultimate pleasure experience leading many continually seeking the bigger cock, better skin,skinnier waist ect but never being satisfied due to begin locked in a never ending search for the perfect guy they will never get

    I think it's a human tendency. It's just gay guys are not forced by society to have a partner and kids. Hence, they can keep looking as long as they want without giving much thought to what society thinks about them. You'll find many straight guys doing the same. They don't want to be bounded with a single woman, and live a life of bachelorhood. I have a straight friend like that who doesn't want to get married, and have kids.
    Anyway, I agree that gays have such a specific set of traits they look for in a partner. The body type, eye type, race, hairy/smooth, dick size etc. No wonder, so many guys are single or in an open relationship.
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    Sep 21, 2014 4:17 PM GMT
    Because they think a better guy will come along and many diss the present man in their life. It's sad really. Happen alot in a big city.
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    Sep 21, 2014 4:36 PM GMT
    Everyone has that point in life when they want to have fun and look for the hot ones. Not a bad thing unless it gets out of control. I did it for years and I'm done living like that. Now instead of chasing down hotties, they chase after me lol. Life has the tendency to turn the tables. It's all about timing. icon_smile.gif
  • 5100s

    Posts: 188

    Sep 21, 2014 4:38 PM GMT
    I think part of it is that we're taught to believe that there are "perfect" people out there when in actually there are just other people like us. I try to remind myself that I can't expect somebody else to be something I'm not.

    But I have to admit that I would never turn down a roll in the hay with a handsome man if I had an opportunity, although I don't search for it like the Holy Grail
  • 24hourguy

    Posts: 364

    Sep 21, 2014 5:52 PM GMT
    because intellectual pursuits and/or looking for nirvana takes too f'ing long! icon_cool.gif
  • FireDoor211

    Posts: 1030

    Sep 21, 2014 6:20 PM GMT
    MartyredNeons saidJust to add to what the OP said, one of the hardest things to overcome is knowing what the expectations are out there, and then realising you cannot within yourself reach them.
    Everything about me is far from perfect, albeit it's my own self-deprecation talking, but I'd say there are few things about me that are satisfactory.

    I suppose that's the reason why all I ever do is just focus on things that I enjoy doing instead of thinking about the societal expectations that are placed on me and trying to meet them.

    ---EDIT---
    Also, I can understand why it seems so prominent in the world of gay men.
    Men in general are much more naturally superficial I think, so in a setting where men are competing to attract other men, the superficiality becomes amplified.

    I'll admit just to be honest here, there are tons of things I'd surgically fix on myself if money were not an issue, but since that is not an option for me I've learned to accept it and try focus on other things. At least until maybe one day somehow I can afford it lol.


    But seriously though, do you think you would want to change these things about yourself if society didn't expect these things from you?
  • FireDoor211

    Posts: 1030

    Sep 21, 2014 6:23 PM GMT
    morphic said
    Sydneyrugbyjock73 saidGay men seem to be forever seeking the ultimate pleasure experience leading many continually seeking the bigger cock, better skin,skinnier waist ect but never being satisfied due to begin locked in a never ending search for the perfect guy they will never get

    I think it's a human tendency. It's just gay guys are not forced by society to have a partner and kids. Hence, they can keep looking as long as they want without giving much thought to what society thinks about them. You'll find many straight guys doing the same. They don't want to be bounded with a single woman, and live a life of bachelorhood. I have a straight friend like that who doesn't want to get married, and have kids.
    Anyway, I agree that gays have such a specific set of traits they look for in a partner. The body type, eye type, race, hairy/smooth, dick size etc. No wonder, so many guys are single or in an open relationship.


    You have to admit though that this tendency is exacerbated in gay males. Possibly partly due to the fact that really there is no societal pressure to find a partner and settle down, but it's even further encouraged by the fact that society doesn't WANT us to find a partner.
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    Sep 21, 2014 7:07 PM GMT
    Sydneyrugbyjock73 saidGay men seem to be forever seeking the ultimate pleasure experience leading many continually seeking the bigger cock, better skin,skinnier waist ect but never being satisfied due to begin locked in a never ending search for the perfect guy they will never get


    Speak for yourself. I found a man I want to spend my life with. Is he 'perfect'? No. But he's so close it's borderline intimidating!
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    Sep 21, 2014 7:50 PM GMT
    Sydneyrugbyjock73 saidGay men seem to be forever seeking the ultimate pleasure experience leading many continually seeking the bigger cock, better skin,skinnier waist ect but never being satisfied due to begin locked in a never ending search for the perfect guy they will never get


    It is also our marketing consumer society, whether gay or straight, we are bombarded with always young beautiful men, perfect bodies (that have been airbrushed), perfect faces, features, etc. This has ingrain in our society as an achievable goal. Therefore, you see all gay men chasing the allure of staying young, and the pursuit of trying to get this goals. Also, is gone to the extreme, and the ever ending disappointment in gay men of why sometimes they fail. Everyone has noted already there is no perfect guy out there, each of has baggage, flaws, etc. is just on accepting that guy we think we can bond, have good chemistry and there definitely has to be some attraction.
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    Sep 21, 2014 9:02 PM GMT
    Thumbs up for bigger cocks!
  • waccamatt

    Posts: 1918

    Sep 21, 2014 10:32 PM GMT
    Why are so many people on here worried about what everyone else is doing? For some reason this site is full of people who endlessly criticize their brothers. Take care of your own house.
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    Sep 21, 2014 10:56 PM GMT
    waccamatt saidWhy are so many people on here worried about what everyone else is doing? For some reason this site is full of people who endlessly criticize their brothers. Take care of your own house.


    +1
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    Sep 21, 2014 11:49 PM GMT
    Steel101 said
    waccamatt saidWhy are so many people on here worried about what everyone else is doing? For some reason this site is full of people who endlessly criticize their brothers. Take care of your own house.


    +1


    And make different friends.

    Yea I still notice cute dudes. Noticed one just now in fact. A quick conversation, got a smile, I enjoyed it, now home with my man. Can enjoy what's out there without taking it further.

  • doriangrey77

    Posts: 22

    Sep 22, 2014 12:03 AM GMT
    This is inevitable when people's sense of meaning is based on temporal things, rather than the divine.

    When one's world rotates around the former, nothing will ever feel like 'enough'.
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    Sep 22, 2014 12:15 AM GMT
    AWashingtonian said
    Sydneyrugbyjock73 saidGay men seem to be forever seeking the ultimate pleasure experience leading many continually seeking the bigger cock, better skin,skinnier waist ect but never being satisfied due to begin locked in a never ending search for the perfect guy they will never get




    This is more germane to the Human Condition. All people do it. Maybe one social group is more honest about it than others.

    I agree with this. Guys want faster cars, women want bigger boobs, we all want to earn higher salaries, etc. Humans will never be satisfied with what they have, and will always chase for the next big thing.
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    Sep 22, 2014 12:40 AM GMT
    FireDoor211 said
    MartyredNeons saidJust to add to what the OP said, one of the hardest things to overcome is knowing what the expectations are out there, and then realising you cannot within yourself reach them.
    Everything about me is far from perfect, albeit it's my own self-deprecation talking, but I'd say there are few things about me that are satisfactory.

    I suppose that's the reason why all I ever do is just focus on things that I enjoy doing instead of thinking about the societal expectations that are placed on me and trying to meet them.

    ---EDIT---
    Also, I can understand why it seems so prominent in the world of gay men.
    Men in general are much more naturally superficial I think, so in a setting where men are competing to attract other men, the superficiality becomes amplified.

    I'll admit just to be honest here, there are tons of things I'd surgically fix on myself if money were not an issue, but since that is not an option for me I've learned to accept it and try focus on other things. At least until maybe one day somehow I can afford it lol.


    But seriously though, do you think you would want to change these things about yourself if society didn't expect these things from you?


    It started from societal expectations but I quickly grew tired of that. Now I feel that I'd want it just for me rather than an attempt at finding acceptance in the gay community or the general society.
    If I happened to have something done tomorrow I'd end up just keeping to myself. People always bag out those who get work done on themselves when it's obvious. If it looks good then people hardly care, but if it doesn't the person ends up being judged for trying 'too hard' when really the good job and the bad job were both seeking the same thing essentially.
    Society generally are more willing to overlook such things only if it turned out well.
    What can you do though? The world has always and will always value looks over a lot of things. The key here is finding someone highly reputable and then saving lol. Those with natural good looks are blessed, the rest just have to accept it or try do something about it. As I said before, if money weren't an issue I'd choose the latter.
    To each their own I guess.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 22, 2014 12:49 AM GMT
    waccamatt saidWhy are so many people on here worried about what everyone else is doing? For some reason this site is full of people who endlessly criticize their brothers. Take care of your own house.

    We're like gossiping housewives.

    women-gossiper-gossiping-best_friends-go
  • waccamatt

    Posts: 1918

    Sep 22, 2014 1:33 AM GMT
    Lumpyoatmeal said
    waccamatt saidWhy are so many people on here worried about what everyone else is doing? For some reason this site is full of people who endlessly criticize their brothers. Take care of your own house.

    We're like gossiping housewives.

    women-gossiper-gossiping-best_friends-go


    Willlllmaaaaaa!
  • FRE0

    Posts: 4862

    Sep 22, 2014 2:23 AM GMT
    Psychologists many decades ago found that intermittent reward is the most effective way to cause a behavior to be repeated over and over. For example, if pigeons are rewarded by being fed every time they peck a button, they will quickly stop pecking the button if the rewards stop. However, if they at first are usually rewarded for pecking the button, and the frequency of rewards is gradually reduced, a pigeon will end up pecking the button thousands of times hoping to be rewarded even when it is not rewarded.

    Similarly, if sex is good only occasionally, a person may have sex over and over and over hoping for it to be good. That way a person may become addicted to sex even though it is rarely good.
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    Sep 22, 2014 3:07 AM GMT
    sorry, but when you said "Chasing the dragon" my brain just veered off and went straight to Deal's Gap in Tennessee