Thanks guys for your comments. Some of them were interesting, helpful and others were something else.
"how do they know if you don't advertise? are you sending out more signals than you realize?"
I don't know, it is possible, maybe they pick up on my vibe because I'm kind of quiet, friendly and I have female friends. I don't come across as cocky, or talk about sex, etc.
I don't think I have a lot of stereotypical flamboyant gay mannerisms, as I find them off putting in others.
When I was in junior high it started because I was smaller than everyone, a late bloomer and I was blonde with big green eyes. I was athletic, but I didn't like football and contact sports because I was insecure and intimidated by bigger guys that were developing.
There was one boy that started bullying me and I was such a nice kid I just ignored it and avoided him. Other kids started doing it too, to a lesser degree and this jerk went to my High School and talked crap about me there too. Looking back I should have just punched him in his face, because he was small too. But as a kid I was nice and insecure because of my size, the gay thing, religion, and my family.
When I got out of High School I thought it was over, but I had a manager who started talking about me to my face and behind my back. I stood up to him several times and told him what a piece of crap I thought he was in front of everyone and how I would fight if he wanted. He kept right on, so I wrote a letter to HR and told them about how he was bullying me and other people for other things. They put him on probation and he stopped doing it to my face, but he was still doing it behind my back.
Through college I didn't have a problem with it, other than being in the closet. But in the Military a lot of guys started talking about me. I denied it and stood up to them and eventually it mostly subsided.
I haven't had many problems since I came out. I go to straight and gay bars and I fit in pretty much everywhere. It seems like it just takes one person to start shit.
I was at a straight country bar that I frequent recently. I had some guy make comments about me in front of my face and started acting all fruity and talking with a lisp. I looked at him and told him No to what he said, in a firm voice. I stood my ground and ignored him and he didn't know what to do and just said that was weird. I didn't want to get in a fight and get thrown out and I didn't want to put energy into it, because I don't care what he thinks. I don't know if he was just trying to be funny, or if he was putting me down, as I don't talk with a lisp and I don't act like that. I think sometimes guys are jealous and they want to put someone down who they see as better looking, or that has talent dancing, or they perceive as weaker, so it makes them feel like more of a man. I would expect this kind of behavior from a drunk, punk but when it came from an older guy who works at the place I was thrown for a loop, especially because this hasn't happened in a long time. I thought about reporting him to his manager, but I don't know if I should. I live near Ft. Lauderdale, so I'm not used to this kind of homophobia any more here.