Is He Being a Tease? Confused? Curious?


  • Sep 22, 2014 9:47 PM GMT

    I know this sounds like such a typical scenario, but please hear me out.

    My best friend and I progressively became closer these past two years. We've gotten to the point where we've slept on the same bed or couch. One time we got super drunk at a bbq by the pool with some friends and then needed to get ready for another party. When everyone left we went up to his room to shower. While he was showering, I passed out on his bed. I was half asleep when he came, sat on the bed, and began rubbing the back of my head (I was lying on my stomach). He then laid down perpendicular to me on my thighs and began rubbing my back with his hand until we both passed out again for a few minutes. When I got up to shower, I recall him slapping my butt.

    Two nights ago we were drunk (we're in college, okay. We drink a lot lol) and shared a couch. He was on one end and I on the other. By morning time, when I was half-awake, I put my hand on his thigh and he responded by putting his hand on my leg (as if we were both resting our arms on each other), so I knew he was also half-awake (at least). At one point I felt his boner against my knee, but that's when he was knocked out haha

    He has always been a bit touchy, as he's very confident about his masculinity, and I've never minded (who would when the guy's good-looking, right?). I'm certain he's straight, but I get the strong sense that he's curious. Or maybe there's a chance he likes me because we have a strong connection? Or maybe he's teasing me?? I'm not sure! I'm confused! Any thoughts? Am I reading too much into it??
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    Sep 23, 2014 1:35 PM GMT
    Maybe he is bisexual or just curious or something?
    What is it that you want to come out of this?
    Were you wanting to explore too, or is it weird for you because he's a friend and you don't see him that way, or is it that you like him?
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    Sep 23, 2014 2:09 PM GMT
    you guys might try this sober. dosnt work?
    he is straight
    and
    you are the gay man.

  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Sep 23, 2014 2:11 PM GMT
    MartyredNeons saidMaybe he is bisexual or just curious or something?
    What is it that you want to come out of this?
    Were you wanting to explore too, or is it weird for you because he's a friend and you don't see him that way, or is it that you like him?
    Good questions. Answers?
  • cometbro

    Posts: 27

    Sep 23, 2014 5:14 PM GMT
    I am in the same boat, I have had my buddy mount me when we were both in b├│xers and he has grinded on me at the bar before even kiss me on the neck.
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    Sep 23, 2014 5:41 PM GMT
    Your questions are interesting but merely hypothetical until you decide what you would want were he sexually interested in you?

    If you just want a fling, then you can just start reciprocating and see where things go ... in this scenario it really doesn't matter what label you put on his orientation.

    If you are trying to discover his "true" sexuality so you can start dating him, then why not just ask him? You could say something like "Having you as a friend is great, and I was wondering given the physical contact between us that happens sometimes if you'd maybe like to go on a date with me sometime?"

    Frankly, I would go with the first option because you'll know the answer to your questions from how he reacts and you'll leave open the possibility for something more. The odds are high that if you take the second option you will lose him as a friend because he will become so uncomfortable with your directness and there is a very high likelihood that he is just experimenting for the hell of it.

    So just enjoy the moment and subtly push the envelope a bit at those moments. Don't look much beyond that.
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    Sep 23, 2014 6:01 PM GMT
    Does he know you are gay? That's an important detail you leave out.
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    Sep 23, 2014 8:51 PM GMT
    ^ Legit question.

    Does he know you're gay?

    Even if he doesn't (or does) his behavior is a bit odd. This situation is extremely common to the script of a porn. Sounds like you're being seduced by a supposed "straight guy" who is only touchy-feely when drunk. Fun for a moment but who the hell wants that kind of a headache/mind fuck?
  • Aleco_Graves

    Posts: 708

    Sep 24, 2014 12:33 AM GMT
    I Love reading these stories every time, it gets me all bubbly and fuzzy inside... Hoping for a status update several months down the line on the forum saying they are happily together. It kind of gives me hope.

    That being said, all these signs don't mean anything in the "He's into you" department. It can be sheer curiosity or 'bromance' read wrong.

    It could be that hes bi-curious and feels comfortable enough with you to explore the unexplored and not want to cuddle and wait for you outside your classes in the snow.


    So even when you get to the point where he verbally makes it evident that he cares for you in THAT way, it doesn't always work, closet cases often reject their feelings and the people they like.

    I was lucky enough to have gotten past the hesitation past the friend zone with a guy Ive always seen closer than a brother (We grew up together, hes 4 years older). I never really tried to show any feelings towards him in that sense even it was difficult because he was drop dead gorgeous (like a taller chris Evans) We care(d) for each other alot and him being gentleman and all he didn't want to ask me to just explore sex with him...

    He told me when I was in the room, he would only see me. And this was a issue because he was scared if he told me he'd scare me away (even though he knew I was Pan). So sweet of him. We gave dating a shot and we hit it off so well. We'd be happy holding each other or just being in each others silent company. He made me feel stronger and it was by far the closest thing to (actually was) the real deal Ive ever had with a guy...

    Several months in he had decided to move to Germany for Study opportunities and money, the plan being I'd join him soon. My plans got delayed so we did the long distance thing for a while. Until he told me that he didn't time to play with boys in such a crucial time of his life. Broke my heart.
    He's with his Ex, Daddies Girl who can spend all the flyer miles she wants visiting him. He says it was a phase.

    So see. Even in my case where I called him mine, he slipped away and it didn't turn out the way i hoped.

    I Got sidetracked there

    The bond which two friends share can be intense, especially in these situations. Keep making observations and try staying as Objective as possible, reminding yourself of other possibilities. If you feel like you have a string enough case, go for it, but try to be subtle about asking him. You dont want to scare him away.


    Anything is possible though and expect the worst, that way the truth will always be pleasantly surprising icon_smile.gif
    I wish you luck... Keep us posted!

  • Sep 24, 2014 1:12 AM GMT
    Thanks, guys.

    To answer some questions:
    Yes, he knows I'm gay. Even before we actually started hanging out, because I was the president of the lgbtq club on campus, so a lot of people knew about me.

    No, I am not looking for a relationship or a fling. I've always put a barrier between me and any straight guy. But I just feel like this situation is knocking on that wall.

    We're both in a fraternity, so there's bromance bouncing off the walls. i guess the drunk situation is what threw me off.
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    Sep 24, 2014 3:40 AM GMT
    Got to represent Brotha,
    tell HIM it's inappropriate...these straight boys got to learn.
    I 'straight' up call one friend I work with a Cock Tease. He doesn't flinch, because it get's him "Red Bull's," "Starbuck's," and as many squeezes on my "MiO" he wants.
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Sep 24, 2014 4:10 AM GMT
    pellaz saidyou guys might try this sober. dosnt work?
    he is straight
    and
    you are the gay man.


    Above is the best advice you will get!icon_idea.gif
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    Sep 24, 2014 4:37 AM GMT
    MikemikeMike said
    pellaz saidyou guys might try this sober. dosnt work?
    he is straight
    and
    you are the gay man.


    Above is the best advice you will get!icon_idea.gif


    Worst advice. Do it drunk outta your fuckin' minds. You both get what you want and a built in excuse! He gets to save face and you get some dick. It's a win/win all around!

  • Sep 24, 2014 6:33 AM GMT
    UndercoverMan said
    MikemikeMike said
    pellaz saidyou guys might try this sober. dosnt work?
    he is straight
    and
    you are the gay man.


    Above is the best advice you will get!icon_idea.gif


    Worst advice. Do it drunk outta your fuckin' minds. You both get what you want and a built in excuse! He gets to save face and you get some dick. It's a win/win all around!


    It's one of those bad choices, but one that makes sense lol
    I'll just go with the flow. I'm not gonna push any boundaries and see what unfolds, if at all.
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    Sep 24, 2014 10:55 AM GMT
    Here's what you do. The next time he touches you without meaning business, get jokingly offended and say something along the lines of "Stop teasing if you ain't gonna fuck me". He might get uncomfortable, maybe play it off like you were joking, or he might take it as an opportunity if he really is curious. That's how I would handle that situation. Guage his reaction and you should be able to tell then and there

  • Sep 24, 2014 7:34 PM GMT
    Phoenyx saidHere's what you do. The next time he touches you without meaning business, get jokingly offended and say something along the lines of "Stop teasing if you ain't gonna fuck me". He might get uncomfortable, maybe play it off like you were joking, or he might take it as an opportunity if he really is curious. That's how I would handle that situation. Guage his reaction and you should be able to tell then and there


    I actually do lol.
    I'll say something like, "can you stop molesting me?" or sometimes I have my chapstick in my pocket and it protrudes and he grabs it, I say "dude, that's my dick". haha
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    Sep 24, 2014 8:49 PM GMT
    stud_intraining said
    Phoenyx saidHere's what you do. The next time he touches you without meaning business, get jokingly offended and say something along the lines of "Stop teasing if you ain't gonna fuck me". He might get uncomfortable, maybe play it off like you were joking, or he might take it as an opportunity if he really is curious. That's how I would handle that situation. Guage his reaction and you should be able to tell then and there


    I actually do lol.
    I'll say something like, "can you stop molesting me?" or sometimes I have my chapstick in my pocket and it protrudes and he grabs it, I say "dude, that's my dick". haha


    1st....worst advice ever since the advice given seems very coy and insinuating.

    2nd...if you say that you put barriers then put up barriers. It sounds like you want some shit to happen. Pfffft! Being coy and practically inviting this indirect, passive/aggressive attempt at him being gay thing is childish and you're enabling him by playing along and not taking it seriously if it bothers you. Fuck a "bromance mentality".

    If we ain't fucking then quit with the gay tendencies. Either whip it out and let's do this or quit with the false come-ons.
  • Svnw688

    Posts: 3350

    Sep 24, 2014 9:10 PM GMT
    Two things:

    I had a self-identifying straight friend like this. I look on his laptop (site history and image cache) and the only porn he watched was straight porn. He also had a thing for girls in uniforms. But he knew I was gay, and him, another straight guy and me were best friends. But we partied more than the other straight guy, so we'd often be coming home drunk together and crashing. He was kinda touchy-feely like this, but never gave any real vibe. Well, after SEVERAL shots one night on both our parts and after going to his apartment (he lived alone, I lived with the other straight guy), I suggested we put on porn. He said ok and put on straight porn. Then he started joking about how I'd like gay porn on but he doesn't have any. I said something lame like "we can make some" and he was like "Nah man, nah." But eventually I got hornier and without any limits because of the alcohol I said "guys do oral better." He just kinda looked at me, and I repositioned myself closer on the couch and then just went for it and started blowing him. He said "what are you doing" and similarly half-hearted statements like that, but then started moaning and putting his hand on my head as if I needed a guide (I didn't). Before long I had his warm load in my mouth and he said "swallow" and I did. He said thanks or something, got up and got ready for bed. Like normal, I took out my contacts and went to crash on the couch we'd just done that on and he went to his bedroom. We, literally, never mentioned it ever again but it wasn't awkward at all. I tried a few more times to get at him, but he was usually with his girlfriend or another random girl, so it never worked out again.

    Another guy was seemingly VERY straight. Loved the country bar (Shooter's) and whiskey and wore cowboy boots every now and then. He was the resident "cowboy" and macho country guy. He would NEVER flirt openly like the guy above did, but one night I dropped him off (I was DD that night, sober) and he asked for help into his house. I thought it odd, but helped him. When I got him he said something awkward like "do you want to see my bedroom?" Now, mind you, I had a crush on him for a year and was single, so I didn't say anyhting and we just went back there. He was 6'5 or something ridiculous (eveyrone always asked him if he played basketball) and he fell on me on the bed and started pulling my clothes off and kissing me just like I imagine he does women. He also fixated longer than usual on my (male) pecs, as if they were female breasts? At any rate, he did not give oral, but he took the oral I gave him, and he put me on my stomach and pounded my hole for what seemed like an hour or so. I was in heaven, it felt so good. Like the guy above, we never did anything again or spoke about it. Sadly, it kind of messed our friendship up. He'd hangout with me less at the bar, and before I knew it within a few months we were rarely seeing each other unless we went to the same bar with different groups by chance.

    The lesson. It can be hot, and I say do it if you want to, but know that you might lose your friend. One friend it didn't change the friendship, the other I lost a friend. Two hot memories though!

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  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Sep 24, 2014 9:12 PM GMT
    All you guys sound insecure. Gay histrionics. Just smile and laugh and enjoy this nice guy. If it were me I'd turn around and start hunching him back. He knows you're gay. You know he is probably straight. If he wants to take it further, the ball is in his court. Don't fuck up a good friendship by freaking out or making this into some pointless confrontation. Just be, for god's sake.
  • Svnw688

    Posts: 3350

    Sep 24, 2014 9:46 PM GMT
    @Destinharbor, insecure? Histrionic? As my two real life examples show, "confrontation" or taking the issue to a head (pun intended) does not necessarily and always ruin a friendship.

    It could. In fact it might be probable. But I was the first guy I describe's best man at his wedding and we text and hangout regularly (he's in Boston, I'm in NYC, so we hang every few months). "Confrontation"--if you want to call it that--is sometimes the spice of life. Dare to be bold. Take a risk. Have some fun. icon_cool.gif

    6a00d8345200e269e2017d43050c47970c-800wi
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Sep 24, 2014 9:55 PM GMT
    Svnw688 said@Destinharbor, insecure? Histrionic? As my two real life examples show, "confrontation" or taking the issue to a head (pun intended) does not necessarily and always ruin a friendship.

    It could. In fact it might be probable. But I was the first guy I describe's best man at his wedding and we text and hangout regularly (he's in Boston, I'm in NYC, so we hang every few months). "Confrontation"--if you want to call it that--is sometimes the spice of life. Dare to be bold. Take a risk. Have some fun. icon_cool.gif

    6a00d8345200e269e2017d43050c47970c-800wi

    Why do you (and others) feel the need to "confront" every straight guy who feels sufficiently at ease with a gay friend to harass him a bit? Most guys do that with good friends, gay and straight. Maybe he is closeted or curious. How about just being a friend and letting him be a nice guy making his decisions in his own time?
  • Svnw688

    Posts: 3350

    Sep 24, 2014 10:31 PM GMT
    @DestinHarbor....

    The first guy was pushing my head up and down on his shaft....and the second guy tried to trick me into his bedroom and then started pulling my clothes off, licking my nips, and then pounding my hole.

    I do not see where I confronted them, especially in the second scenario.

    tumblr_inline_ncf6ylhgqs1qaixjx.gif

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    Sep 24, 2014 11:02 PM GMT
    stud_intraining saidAt one point I felt his boner against my knee, but that's when he was knocked out haha


    that sounds a little off. yeah you can be hard while asleep but the timing there seems weird.
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    Sep 25, 2014 4:02 PM GMT
    Svnw688 said@DestinHarbor....

    The first guy was pushing my head up and down on his shaft....and the second guy tried to trick me into his bedroom and then started pulling my clothes off, licking my nips, and then pounding my hole.

    I do not see where I confronted them, especially in the second scenario.

    tumblr_inline_ncf6ylhgqs1qaixjx.gif



    Oh honey. You were the trick so no tricking was even needed. Lol. They straight up "hit it n' quit it". As they say...."Any port in a storm".
  • Svnw688

    Posts: 3350

    Sep 25, 2014 5:14 PM GMT
    Guy101 said
    Svnw688 said@DestinHarbor....

    The first guy was pushing my head up and down on his shaft....and the second guy tried to trick me into his bedroom and then started pulling my clothes off, licking my nips, and then pounding my hole.

    I do not see where I confronted them, especially in the second scenario.

    tumblr_inline_ncf6ylhgqs1qaixjx.gif



    Oh honey. You were the trick so no tricking was even needed. Lol. They straight up "hit it n' quit it". As they say...."Any port in a storm".



    I was just proud to put my slutty/cheap streak to good use to support the cause icon_cool.gif

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