Sex twice in 1 year and 3 months

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 24, 2014 2:48 AM GMT
    Is it normal that a guy has only had sex twice in 15 months? I need a life lol!!!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 24, 2014 2:53 AM GMT
    I was abstinent from the age 13 to 24 and then from the age 24 to 28. I right now have been abstinent since 2006. Actually, being away from sex allows me to find my inner self. Sex is pretty much like a drug distraction. I know I will never have sex again though this time. I really don't believe sex is as necessary to health as some believe.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 24, 2014 2:54 AM GMT
    So what? humans have hands for a reason
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 24, 2014 2:56 AM GMT
    You are right, but it is a feeling.....It may not be necessary but it is a call to give your body away at least for once to allow make someone to take care of your body ha ha. Done well in the right circumstance, I believe sex can be very thrilling and "connecting".
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 24, 2014 2:58 AM GMT
    David, do you use left or right. The ever present helper. I have been saved a million times....Through teh years I have learned by my own many ways of wanking including handsfree heh eh eheheeh
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 24, 2014 3:22 AM GMT
    Goodlucklumu saidDavid, do you use left or right. The ever present helper. I have been saved a million times....Through teh years I have learned by my own many ways of wanking including handsfree heh eh eheheeh

    right hand.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 24, 2014 4:26 AM GMT
    You're in Cape Town? There are lots of gay guys there, of various races. Go forth and find some.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 24, 2014 6:06 AM GMT
    Yes?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 24, 2014 11:22 AM GMT
    You are right, there are many people of different races here and they are all great and handsome but I fear. I have this thing with me that doesnt allow me to let loose, go and look for people.I fear HIV, partly because of having worked in the field of HIV and also having lost two dear ones to it 10 years ago...both dad and mum but mum's loss pained me the most. For that reason I have serious requirements before any form of sex which I feel makes sex too expensive a a venture if you know what I am talking about. I was supposed to have some sex about 2 weeks ago...unplanned with a hunk I have kinda wanted ever since I saw him...He himself asked to fuck me but I said no in the heat of the moment.....we dint even kiss coz I dint know his status. Why? We need to test, if possible take 3 months, test again and still use condoms. The guy who tok away my innocence in June 2012 insisted on raw after several tests but I still said no. May be it is now psychological. Even after testing whenever we do anything, I test and test and test. I am not complaining. I know I have lost opportunities some which I may not find again but that is what's up, at least for me now. Last year I had two guys on separate occasions and we never did nothing the whole night. I shouldn't expose myself too much.....but yet I fear HIV and it is definitely coming between me and sexual pleasure. However that is not to say I dont believe in condoms... I do. its just psychological may b. thanks guys.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Sep 24, 2014 2:20 PM GMT
    Yes, you need counseling. It isn't all that unusual to have infrequent sex but your reasoning and fears are debilitating you. That won't go away without some help, I fear. HIV is very real as you know better than most, but your requirements are too much. Starting a relationship is going to require some trust and you can't give that. Until you can, you'll not find a guy. You don't need to think about having sex, you need to think about finding a good guy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 24, 2014 2:41 PM GMT
    Destinharbor saidYes, you need counseling. It isn't all that unusual to have infrequent sex but your reasoning and fears are debilitating you. That won't go away without some help, I fear. HIV is very real as you know better than most, but your requirements are too much. Starting a relationship is going to require some trust and you can't give that. Until you can, you'll not find a guy. You don't need to think about having sex, you need to think about finding a good guy.


    Destin's got pretty much all my main thoughts covered, Goodluck.

    Although I'd add that if somebody who knows your backstory insists on having raw sex with you, with the alternative being no sex at all, run as fast as you can away from that guy. There's nothing wrong with a lifetime of mutual sexual pleasure that includes condoms and occasional testing throughout. Look into non-penetrative "frot" positions, too, to see if they interest you.

    And unless a therapist asks you to do otherwise, stop counting the sexual occasions and tracking the calendar. That stuff is counterproductive.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 24, 2014 3:35 PM GMT
    Just be aware, you can get HIV by frotting (cock to cock, precum too). Kissing is OK, if you are afraid don't kiss for an hour or two after brushing your teeth or if you have cuts inside your mouth. I'm not sure I could date a guy who doesn't let me kiss him. icon_confused.gif
    Keep doing tests and learn as much as you possibly can of HIV, doctors sometimes misinform their patients, and relax, you can have sex, just do it safe!
    I know a couple doctors and social workers who are specialized to HIV and AIDS, if you want to, I can ask for a couple reliable articles or brochures.
    Also there are pills that lower the chances to get infected, if those are available there.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 24, 2014 6:56 PM GMT
    Wow. Thanks guys. I know abt HIV in terms of transmission and prevention....it has been part of what I do. Its just psychological. The flip side of it is that on the occasions I have had sex, its been the best feeling in this world especially the one who took away my innocence was super. The last wasn't great but I still felt great. Thnx everyone.