Gym Etiquette (please advise)

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    Sep 27, 2014 2:01 AM GMT
    Hi Guys I'm newly at the gym in Hollywood. It's mainly gay.

    I was doing the fly machine and I heard a noise behind me and when I looked down some guy had placed his stuff on the ground on the machine I'm using. Moments later he is stand at 10 o'clock in front of my view. I continued to workout and he was still standing there.

    I said are you waiting for this machine? He said: I'm in no hurry.

    I said it's a good thing because that would not make me rush if you were.

    He said again: I'm in no hurry.

    Here's my question? I had hoped he would get the hint.

    Maybe, I am making a big deal out of nothing but putting his water, notebook and other stuff there while I'm using the machine and standing in front of me while I am working out? To me that suggest hurry up! I'm waiting for your machine!

    Would it of been better for me to say please move your stuff and your body away from here your in my space and bothering me?

    He has worked out next to me before a few weeks ago and he stands too close but more in a passive aggressive manner. Not so close I can't workout but close enough that he is creepy.

    He seems like he wants to piss me off so I will yell at him and lose my cool and then go beat off over it.

    I want to know what the best way to handle this next time or if it is no big deal and it's cool to let someone do that. The fact that it bugged me suggests something was off.

    Thanks for any sound advice.
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    Sep 27, 2014 6:02 AM GMT
    You could say you are trying to workout so it's not a good time to get a lap dance, but thanks anyway.
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    Sep 27, 2014 6:17 AM GMT
    N2Now saidHi Guys I'm newly at the gym in Hollywood. It's mainly gay.

    I was doing the fly machine and I heard a noise behind me and when I looked down some guy had placed his stuff on the ground on the machine I'm using. Moments later he is stand at 10 o'clock in front of my view. I continued to workout and he was still standing there.

    I said are you waiting for this machine? He said: I'm in no hurry.

    I said it's a good thing because that would not make me rush if you were.

    He said again: I'm in no hurry.

    Here's my question? I had hoped he would get the hint.

    Maybe, I am making a big deal out of nothing but putting his water, notebook and other stuff there while I'm using the machine and standing in front of me while I am working out? To me that suggest hurry up! I'm waiting for your machine!

    Would it of been better for me to say please move your stuff and your body away from here your in my space and bothering me?

    He has worked out next to me before a few weeks ago and he stands too close but more in a passive aggressive manner. Not so close I can't workout but close enough that he is creepy.

    He seems like he wants to piss me off so I will yell at him and lose my cool and then go beat off over it.

    I want to know what the best way to handle this next time or if it is no big deal and it's cool to let someone do that. The fact that it bugged me suggests something was off.

    Thanks for any sound advice.

    Some people think that they "own" the machine while they're using it and that they can take as much time as they want. If you are one of those people, then yes maybe that guy was giving you a big hint.

    Next time, ask the guy if he wants to work in between your sets. Or maybe just hurry up with your workout and stop wasting everyone's time.
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    Sep 27, 2014 10:20 AM GMT
    xrichx said


    Here's my question? I had hoped he would get the hint.

    Maybe, I am making a big deal out of nothing but putting his water, notebook and other stuff there while I'm using the machine and standing in front of me while I am working out?

    Thanks for any sound advice.

    Some people think that they "own" the machine while they're using it and that they can take as much time as they want. If you are one of those people, then yes maybe that guy was giving you a big hint.

    Next time, ask the guy if he wants to work in between your sets. Or maybe just hurry up with your workout and stop wasting everyone's time.


    I agree with this. Do your workouts get a good pump or soreness from and keep going.

    I personally don't have issue with people who take their time working out but I do ask if I can work in, or how many sets they may have left.

    If the person using the machine gives of a vibe or answer that they are going to be a while, then I make moves somewhere else and come back later... I'm not letting no one ruin my workout and neither should you.
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    Sep 27, 2014 2:36 PM GMT
    I was on the Lat Pulldown machine and two lads asked me what i had left so i said so many ets, they then sat on a machine either side of me and stared at me, i didnt rush lol tossers

  • Sep 27, 2014 3:53 PM GMT
    I vote for the 'Do you want to work in with me' response. It's nice, but also letting him know you're not about to be shoved off the machine you're in the middle of working on.

    I've worked in gyms since my first job folding towels and checking in members at 14. Let's see if I can come up with some basics here...

    - Be nice. It often took a tremendous amount of courage and effort for a new person to even make it to the gym. While you think you're being judged by a few minor flaws, they feel like everyone's looking at them and thinking terrible things. We want a healthy happy community right? You don't have to be their therapist, but a welcoming nod goes a long ways.

    - Be aware. Nothing drives me crazier than people who come in at peak times, set up the squat rack, leg press and deadlift (three of the most in-demand things at the gym) and spend 45 minutes between the three. And leave 400 pounds of plates on and move to whatever they're doing next. Thanks a lot from those of us who are rearranging our squat routines in our heads so you can spend half our workout time on three machines you could have separately spent ten minutes each on. And most of those guys are assholes. It does no good to ask them when they're done.

    - Breaking the equipment slowly and painfully. I see it over time. Between slamming the weight down for deadlifts - which, 90% of the time these guys are using way too much weight and doing them wrong, or they're using the Smith Press for their deadlifts and loading each side with 5-6 45 pound plates, and then letting the weight drop and bounce at the bottom - yea - that Smith Machine is going to be garbage within a month...I could go on.

    What I see as the prime culprit is the change in gym staff. Before there was usually someone monitoring the weight room who'd actually go up to someone and let them know nicely that if they want to work out there, they need to knock it off. Today these gyms only hire kids with an exercise science degree that are often cold fish - they never smile, they don't have a CLUE how to have a conversation with anyone, they might know theory and be booksmart but are unapproachable when it comes to other members. Clearly they have been trained to sell memberships and give orientations on machines, but that's about it.

    I like the way it used to be when the person behind the fitness desk knew what they were talking about, got to know you, your goals and routine and weren't afraid to let you know if your approach needed work. Those days, unfortunately are gone.
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    Sep 27, 2014 4:12 PM GMT
    Busy gymn , high demand equipment....

    That bloke might have just placed his stuff by the machine to reserve it , for when you will be over with ..
    As mentioned before , you could have suggested him , if he wanted to alternate sets with you .
    Why wasting equipment time , while resting on the machine bench , alternate sets with someone else !
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    Sep 27, 2014 4:16 PM GMT
    xrichx said
    N2Now saidHi Guys I'm newly at the gym in Hollywood. It's mainly gay.

    I was doing the fly machine and I heard a noise behind me and when I looked down some guy had placed his stuff on the ground on the machine I'm using. Moments later he is stand at 10 o'clock in front of my view. I continued to workout and he was still standing there.

    I said are you waiting for this machine? He said: I'm in no hurry.

    I said it's a good thing because that would not make me rush if you were.

    He said again: I'm in no hurry.

    Here's my question? I had hoped he would get the hint.

    Maybe, I am making a big deal out of nothing but putting his water, notebook and other stuff there while I'm using the machine and standing in front of me while I am working out? To me that suggest hurry up! I'm waiting for your machine!

    Would it of been better for me to say please move your stuff and your body away from here your in my space and bothering me?

    He has worked out next to me before a few weeks ago and he stands too close but more in a passive aggressive manner. Not so close I can't workout but close enough that he is creepy.

    He seems like he wants to piss me off so I will yell at him and lose my cool and then go beat off over it.

    I want to know what the best way to handle this next time or if it is no big deal and it's cool to let someone do that. The fact that it bugged me suggests something was off.

    Thanks for any sound advice.

    Some people think that they "own" the machine while they're using it and that they can take as much time as they want. If you are one of those people, then yes maybe that guy was giving you a big hint.

    Next time, ask the guy if he wants to work in between your sets. Or maybe just hurry up with your workout and stop wasting everyone's time.


    To answer what you said: If you are one of those people, then yes maybe that guy was giving you a big hint. I'm not sitting there all day or making cell calls. Just doing a normal workout.

    It's interesting that you said:
    Stop wasting everyone's time.
    Are you saying that asking a question on how to solve a problem and trying to deal with someone authentically is a waste of everyone's time?
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    Sep 27, 2014 4:19 PM GMT
    neffa saidBusy gymn , high demand equipment....

    That bloke might have just placed his stuff by the machine to reserve it , for when you will be over with ..
    As mentioned before , you could have suggested him , if he wanted to alternate sets with you .
    Why wasting equipment time , while resting on the machine bench , alternate sets with someone else !

    Actually the gym was slow but I agree next time I will ask him if he want to work in.
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    Sep 27, 2014 4:38 PM GMT
    N2Now said...
    He seems like he wants to piss me off so I will yell at him and lose my cool and then go beat off over it.

    I want to know what the best way to handle this next time ...
    Beat him off before he gets the chance.
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    Sep 27, 2014 4:55 PM GMT
    neffa saidThat bloke might have just placed his stuff by the machine to reserve it , for when you will be over with ..

    I don't even DARE to ask someone to work in because no matter how nicely I do it they refuse, often saying they have "2 more sets" and proceed to do four and chat up a bud in the interim. So instead I work around them but sometimes if the person using the machine I want is between sets I'll ask him as nicely and non-confrontationally as possible "Hey, could you give me a head's up whenever you're through in case I miss it so no one else cuts in? No rush, I'll be training right THERE" (while I point to a nearby machine).

    Funny thing is even that approach is hit & miss - at least half the time the person I ask (neither dazed nor stupid) will leave the machine with nary a fair thee well, head's up, nothin.' The very definition of passive aggressive asshole if you ask me. Which gym doesn't matter; I get rebuffed equally whether at a hardcore bodybuilding gym, a YMCA or a glitzy health spa.
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    Sep 27, 2014 5:00 PM GMT
    cutelad89 saidI was on the Lat Pulldown machine and two lads asked me what i had left so i said so many ets, they then sat on a machine either side of me and stared at me, i didnt rush lol tossers


    I'm sure I've seen a porn film that started something like that.
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    Sep 27, 2014 5:36 PM GMT
    Ex_Mil8 said
    cutelad89 saidI was on the Lat Pulldown machine and two lads asked me what i had left so i said so many ets, they then sat on a machine either side of me and stared at me, i didnt rush lol tossers


    I'm sure I've seen a porn film that started something like that.
    LMAO well i did find out one of them is a rugby player for a town near me haha
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    Sep 27, 2014 5:46 PM GMT
    Proper etiquette is to offer to let him work-in with you. If you are sitting on the machine resting between sets, then I totally understand why he's behaving this way.
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    Sep 27, 2014 6:08 PM GMT
    Scruffypup saidProper etiquette is to offer to let him work-in with you. If you are sitting on the machine resting between sets, then I totally understand why he's behaving this way.


    Just depends really on how much rest you are having.
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    Sep 27, 2014 10:42 PM GMT
    N2Now saidTo answer what you said: If you are one of those people, then yes maybe that guy was giving you a big hint. I'm not sitting there all day or making cell calls. Just doing a normal workout.

    It's interesting that you said:
    Stop wasting everyone's time.
    Are you saying that asking a question on how to solve a problem and trying to deal with someone authentically is a waste of everyone's time?

    I'm saying that if you're loafing around and not actually working out, then you're wasting the time of the people that are waiting to use the equipment.

    What do you consider a "normal workout"? How many reps? How many sets? How long are you using the equipment?

    You admitted that you're new to the gym. So what may be a "normal workout" for you, may not be normal for the experienced gym goers.