At 27, is it time to drop all your under 25 friends/acquaintances/etc?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 27, 2014 8:52 AM GMT
    I've been 27 now for over a month. Normally I don't associate with guys any younger than I. In fact, most of my friends have always been older. But, there's still some guys here and there who are younger.

    I have 1 friend who is 22 years old. We've been friends since he was 20 (I actually met him once, but didn't hang out with him again until he turned 21 several months later lol). However, his bullshit has gotten on my last. He behaves in every way that boys his age act: Driving dangerous and recklessly for NO reason, Jumping from 1 dubious relationship to the next, Spending every waking moment on Grindr (while simultaneously calling someone he's only known a couple months his 'husband), and just plain SELFISH, and thinking just because he works in a entry level position wearing a suit and tie, he all that and better than ME.

    The last draw came when we went out of town earlier this week. I knew he was petty in the past, but on the trip...ALL his pettiness/immaturity came out in full force. He even got jealous because his 'husband' offered to let me take something back home. It's a long story, but at the end when we got home, I had to tell him how petty he really is. I'm 5 years older than him, pushing 30, yet the whole time he was talking to me as if I was 17. Yet, every bill/possession/car I have is in my name...unlike him. I was about to beat the shit out of him, in a moving car. An ass whopping in HIS car, while I was driving.

    Then, it hit me. This guy is not even on my level. He's not even 25. You're not even really considered a full-fledged adult until you're 25. It's not just him either, I just find guys under 25 and their bullshit to be intolerable after awhile. Sadly, some people never grow out of their under 25 mindset. Hence why some guys in their upper 20s and 30s still don't have their shit together.

    Thoughts?
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    Sep 27, 2014 9:07 AM GMT
    Age is for the body. Irrespective of age Anyone can feel older or younger depending on how they think of themselves and make others feel.

    So far in my life, I've met wide spectrum of people as young as 18, inspiring and wise and On the other hand, I've met people older in their mid 60's and insensitive to reasoning and knowledge. Well...
  • PRDGUY

    Posts: 641

    Sep 27, 2014 11:01 AM GMT
    it's not the age as I'm seeing people 22 as if they are 40 & mature while I've seen people who are 30+ act as if they're 16.
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1116

    Sep 27, 2014 12:58 PM GMT
    Harry7785 saidAge is for the body. Irrespective of age Anyone can feel older or younger depending on how they think of themselves and make others feel.

    So far in my life, I've met wide spectrum of people as young as 18, inspiring and wise and On the other hand, I've met people older in their mid 60's and insensitive to reasoning and knowledge. Well...


    As always the wise words from you Harry hits right on target! it is always a pleasure to hear from you!

    As for me being a matured adult requires one to have the sensitivity to put yourself in other people's shoes! harsh criticism or putting someone else's immature actions down DOES NOT EQUAL the self entitlement of being more matured then those who are not!!
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    Sep 27, 2014 1:02 PM GMT
    Sometimes young guys can act in an annoying way. I like to think of them as like naughty kittens, that way I know not to expect too much from them. They will almost always grow out of it.
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    Sep 27, 2014 3:01 PM GMT
    At 27, 24 may seem younger. When you're 65 like me, 62 (the same age difference) is the blink of an eye.

    You're giving this too much thought (of which I am also now guilty). Yeah, below 25 is mostly kids, as you say. Hell, to me, below 35 is mostly kids. It's all relative.

    And relative to THEIR maturity & abilities, and less to YOUR perceptions & prejudices. I'm the first here to dismiss young guys, based on what I've encountered. Mostly clueless airheads these days. BUT...

    Each guy if different, and there are exceptions. At 24 I was an Army Lieutenant, already in the Army 4 years. Having been a Sergeant at 21.

    At your age of 27 I was an Army Company Commander, leading 200 soldiers, about to be promoted early to Captain. And had career Sergeants in their 40s working for me, saluting me and calling me "Sir". Our relative ages were topsy-turvy. Leading me to wonder why an age difference of less than 3 years would concern you.

    My late partner & I were nearly 3 years apart. I didn't even sense it. My present partner & I are 15 years apart. It doesn't affect our relationship at all. So why does this age disparity concern you?

    Therefore, be on guard - a guy of nearly 25 may be more mature & adult than YOU are! icon_eek.gif
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    Sep 27, 2014 4:03 PM GMT
    Your 'friend's immaturity and selfishness is the problem. Not his age. Sure, younger guys tend to be more immature than older guys. Life experience has a way of teaching you humility. But some never learn and are just old, selfish assholes.
    I'd suggest letting that friendship slip away. You don't have to 'break up', just stop putting effort into the friendship. It'll die on its own. As a rule, selfish people don't think of the work it takes to maintain a friendship.
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1116

    Sep 27, 2014 6:52 PM GMT
    Immature people can also reason and change their ways, but it takes a very matured person to help them through it! I remembered when I was younger and immature; it was the matured adults who helped me get out of that emotional rut, with lots and lots of patience, compassion, and understanding.
  • davfit

    Posts: 309

    Sep 29, 2014 6:26 PM GMT
    Numbers mean nothing.. its only a guideline ,how people act is whats important.. people my age seem to Act old I can't begin to relate with them and they seem not to relate with me..My 71 year old customer is great fun to talk to.. go figure.. maybe because he enjoys the moment .worksout, runs, Hikes and travels the world.
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    Sep 29, 2014 7:08 PM GMT
    When you have kids you learn to tolerate " immature behavior" . I certainly would not stress about it or get hateful about it. It is what it is. If you enjoy older men then transition over to that without burning your bridges.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Sep 29, 2014 10:13 PM GMT
    Art_Deco saidAt 27, 24 may seem younger. When you're 65 like me, 62 (the same age difference) is the blink of an eye.

    You're giving this too much thought (of which I am also now guilty). Yeah, below 25 is mostly kids, as you say. Hell, to me, below 35 is mostly kids. It's all relative.

    And relative to THEIR maturity & abilities, and less to YOUR perceptions & prejudices. I'm the first here to dismiss young guys, based on what I've encountered. Mostly clueless airheads these days. BUT...

    Each guy if different, and there are exceptions. At 24 I was an Army Lieutenant, already in the Army 4 years. Having been a Sergeant at 21.

    At your age of 27 I was an Army Company Commander, leading 200 soldiers, about to be promoted early to Captain. And had career Sergeants in their 40s working for me, saluting me and calling me "Sir". Our relative ages were topsy-turvy. Leading me to wonder why an age difference of less than 3 years would concern you.

    My late partner & I were nearly 3 years apart. I didn't even sense it. My present partner & I are 15 years apart. It doesn't affect our relationship at all. So why does this age disparity concern you?

    Therefore, be on guard - a guy of nearly 25 may be more mature & adult than YOU are! icon_eek.gif


    This here. I feel that age shouldn't always be a factor as you can find mature and immature type guys of all ages so you have to let their character speak for themselves rather than age.
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    Sep 29, 2014 11:18 PM GMT
    Wyndahoi saidYour 'friend's immaturity and selfishness is the problem. Not his age. Sure, younger guys tend to be more immature than older guys. Life experience has a way of teaching you humility. But some never learn and are just old, selfish assholes.


    So much this.

    I have friends of many ages, from 21 to 62. All of them are mature and non-superficial people. There's no reason to suddenly drop everyone from your life who's 25 or under. How about dropping everyone who is superficial and drama-causing?
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    Sep 29, 2014 11:21 PM GMT
    Um, that would be a shitty thing to do..
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    Sep 29, 2014 11:47 PM GMT
    Nooooooo

    I dunno about the not even 25 thing....

    Generally in trucking there are people that won't hire until you're 23 and I'm very often the youngest I see.

    However, it sounds like it is just him rather than an age or life experience thing particularly.

    I get the hypocrisy of what his identity portrays with the grindr + husband but, I would just distance myself from them particularly... That often seems more representative of community/sociological pressures than a personal predilection. I understand the wantonness to label an entire group based upon a singular detail and remove that agony's recurrence but, is probably ill-advised. I was paying for everything when I was 18 and single :s I gather that is legal adulthood..

    I guess for me regarding age -
    Some of my friends in high school from video games are my favorite to talk to - I wish they didn't live so far away but, then again we'd probably just play games and talk anyway so, it doesn't matter.

    This reads like an unhealthy relationship.. icon_sad.gif

    PS
    I also witness many relationships where the balance is formulated on whether or not one partner can attract another rather than a mutual confidence and respect... I would feel more pity for your ?friend? than disdain... Disdain for the situation pity for their position amidst it...

    If that is an accurate read.

    Sorry icon_sad.gif
  • Svnw688

    Posts: 3350

    Sep 30, 2014 12:30 AM GMT
    Don't overanalyze it. It seems to me that this particular young man is simply immature. Sure young guys are mature, and some older guys are immature. But age is a decent (if not the best) proxy for a person's maturity, especially if they're aged 16 to 30. I don't think your age really matters after that for roughly measuring and approximating maturity as a general matter.

    Drop him. Be open to young guys, but be on notice and on guard that they're LIKELY immature.

    Tell him to:
    tumblr_ls1ws2OxL91qkxl62.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 30, 2014 2:11 AM GMT
    You're the biggest douche on this forum, OP. If anything, I'm surprised they haven't dropped you.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 30, 2014 6:18 AM GMT
    I could give you a response here, but as you can already tell guys much older than me will swoop in like vultures on what you have posted here. lol. I won't even get the space or chance to respond.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 30, 2014 11:35 AM GMT
    I disagree and I am friends with a real jock member that I become friends with well before I knew he was a Realjock member. He is 24 and more mature and settled than many men my own age I have met both here in Sydney and on my travels. Cross generational friendships are healthy and work well for both people who are older and then young person. I do stress I am talking about friendships not necessarily about boyfriends.

    My point is that if you get along and have things in common any adults can have a good friendship. Also should have older friends as the differences help you grow as a person
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    Dec 03, 2014 12:50 PM GMT
    dropping someone solely based on age is idiotic, stupid, terrible and discriminatory among other things. "Worth and character", not "age and beauty"...to even suggest this reasoning shows a serious amount of insecurity and a lack of personal maturity. careful.....someone may drop you as too young, too old, the wrong ethnicity, not the right socio-economic level, not educated enough, or some other ignorant reason. You limit your perspectives and stunt your networking by thinking this way....grow up.icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Dec 03, 2014 6:57 PM GMT
    Hehe, actually I have caught this idea also in my case. Younger than me - I don't tolerate them because lots of guys are not making conversations at level I wouldn't be interested at all. And their attitude is not that I accept. Meanwhile, I do know, that more intellectual and deeper conversations I will have with friends, that are older than me. It just happens, because I have more in common with them than with "youngsters".

    I do think, that at some age it will turn 180 degree to other side for me, I will be more attracted to younger, but I suppose, only physically, not mentally.
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    Dec 03, 2014 7:09 PM GMT
    If his level of maturity is making you feel disconnected, then by all means detach yourself from him. If you are willing, guide/mentor him in his journey of becoming a mature person.

    There is no need to make a big deal out of it and definitely no need to generalize it to all under 25 year old. We have all been at that age once.
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14380

    Dec 06, 2014 4:21 PM GMT

    Age is basically a meaningless number. It is how you feel that is most important. There are a significant number of guys ages 18 to 25 who are a lot more responsible and mature than many older guys over 25.
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    Dec 07, 2014 1:10 AM GMT
    I think maturity and age are different things. Pretty much most of my friends (all of my gay ones) and every man I've had any kind of date or relationship with is/has been a fair bit older than me and I'm hoping none of them would deem me immature just because of my date of birth icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Dec 08, 2014 6:02 AM GMT
    pazzy saidso let me get this straight. the escort that has shown that he lives recklessly judging and looking down at other people who do the same shit he does. stop, man. you're always full of drama. you're basically around someone who's like minded like yourself and you THINK you're better than them when you do the same things. good luck being around others who are more mature than you are. don't think they'd want to be around you.

    i don't think you can handle reality, breh, and need a reality check. folks might say i'm attacking BUT it's real hard to take what you're saying seriously.


    You don't even have a job, douchenozzle. Shut up...icon_lol.gif
  • BlackDapper

    Posts: 24

    Dec 18, 2014 3:07 AM GMT
    I agree .... most gay men under 25 are very screwed up and haven't come into their own yet. Every gay guy I meet under 25 do not stay in my life for long by choice.