Confession of a once flaming queen.

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    Jan 15, 2009 2:44 AM GMT
    The problem. My reaction. The problem that causes this argument. My personal solution (or rather dissolution)

    Disclaimers

    -This reaction spawned from an argument posted by Sweat-

    -It is to my full well knowledge that this topic is covered a million times, but not with a platform I can compromise myself to-

    -I'm well aware of my age. Please do not allow a number to distract from the importance of hypothetical thought, questioning, life experiences, and education-

    Dictionary.
    Homosexuality: sexual desire or behavior directed toward a person or persons of one's own sex.

    Straight Male Peer.
    Homosexuality: "Guys that get manicures and, you know, other stuff."

    As much as I am inclined to agree with what Charles Eames stated, "Eventually, everything connects" I also must condone the fact that various connections perhaps are not genuine, but are created out of necessity.

    The connection is that of sexuality to the rest of the life, or in this case lifestyle. At the very least, in my case - I correlated my homosexuality to a flamboyant lifestyle that I had to be a part of. Recently though I discovered the problem with this.

    I inflated my sexuality to compensate for all the other facets of my life. I used and abused my sexuality to create an entire supposed lifestyle superimposed onto me by media, my only naive beliefs, and out of a need of belonging.

    I don't blame society. I don't blame parades on the verge of bursting into literal and figurative flame. I don't blame myself.

    I was afraid.

    Afraid to be an individual that happened to like manicures not because I enjoy men, but because I'm obsessive compulsive and like paying to have peculiar little Asian women scrape and scrub my hands (what I after all eat with) to perfection.

    Manicures = homo is as silly as dirty nails = straight. I explained to that very same straight man above. Now he has regular appointments for "MAN-icures" as he puts it.

    But when a man, and especially a recently out man, gets pulled into a lifestyle it becomes a crutch of conformed defiance, of compensation, and of justification for something as simple as whom he is attracted to. It's a mob-ocracy of shine, group-think, and pseudo-individuality.

    a) We're more comfortable with our sexuality than you are.

    Sexuality is one tiny facet of an individual. Comfort has nothing to do with expanding one facet of your life to justify/compensate for every. That would be only improving my mind and leaving my body to neglect or vice versa. My sex does not create my entire "lifestyle." What I enjoy in total with sex as a small part is what does.

    (b) It's a big world; if you don't like it, avoid it.

    In this big world, my likes and dislikes don't matter. But what about the people you are affecting in this big world? What about the false representation you cast onto every "man for man" in this big world? I can avoid you, but why should we have to? I'm not talking just social-responsibility, but the responsibility to do what is right and does not simply feel good. That is the difference between happiness and joy.

    (c) Quit trying to tell other people what they should like and not like.

    But do you like it? Do you truly enjoy broadcasting your sexuality as your entire being? Aren't you more complex than that?

    (d) Go learn your gay history; this is part of who we are.

    What was, was. What is, is. Then is not now, and what was is not what is. And it is just that - A part

    I am homosexual. My sexual preference is for men. That is a piece a-part from my entire being. I'm done allowing it to decide my entire being. It is only one facet in the refracting of shine I hope to know - the individual I am.
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    Jan 15, 2009 5:37 AM GMT
    You are my hero. Thank you for your honesty and humility.
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    Jan 15, 2009 5:59 AM GMT
    seudo-individuality.

    a) We're more comfortable with our sexuality than you are.

    Sexuality is one tiny facet of an individual. Comfort has nothing to do with expanding one facet of your life to justify/compensate for every. That would be only improving my mind and leaving my body to neglect or vice versa. My sex does not create my entire "lifestyle." What I enjoy in total with sex as a small part is what does.

    (b) It's a big world; if you don't like it, avoid it.

    In this big world, my likes and dislikes don't matter. But what about the people you are affecting in this big world? What about the false representation you cast onto every "man for man" in this big world? I can avoid you, but why should we have to? I'm not talking just social-responsibility, but the responsibility to do what is right and does not simply feel good. That is the difference between happiness and joy.

    (c) Quit trying to tell other people what they should like and not like.

    But do you like it? Do you truly enjoy broadcasting your sexuality as your entire being? Aren't you more complex than that?

    (d) Go learn your gay history; this is part of who we are.

    What was, was. What is, is. Then is not now, and what was is not what is. And it is just that - A part

    I am homosexual. My sexual preference is for men. That is a piece a-part from my entire being. I'm done allowing it to decide my entire being. It is only one facet in the refracting of shine I hope to know - the individual I am.[/quote]

    Hey man I used to feel the same way and it drove me crazy! I mean Crazy! I used to get mad at the openly flaming gay men. I used to roll my eyes at them and say YOUR NOT HELPING! And then I realized that it wasn't that I didn't like them because of what they were doing it was how they were doing it. I cant stand those overly macho guys who want to start fights with everyone and who talk about how big their dick is. I just dont like un-educated people, and most people who live in the extreme are.

    However there used to be a part. when I was 18, that hated those guys because I was partially envious of them. I couldn't act any way I wanted because my mom would have thrown me out of the house, and she stipulated when I came out " dont act lie a fag", and I was envious because I wanted to feel like I could act any way I wanted; therefore, I stated my dislike of thoese type of men out of my own problems.

    You got to cut people some slack. Every person you know acts stupidly in their life because they are dealing with thier own emotional problems. Hell all of us acted stright before we came out of the closet..... well most of us. And dont listen to the guys who told you all those statements used in A) B) C) and D). Everyone in your life is just going to try to pigeon hole your life because they couldn't do what you want to do. So just dont listen to what all those losers say and just be yourself that's all that matters
  • hartfan

    Posts: 1037

    Jan 15, 2009 7:03 AM GMT
    Bravo.
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    Jan 15, 2009 7:18 AM GMT
    Sorry I have a self-diagnosed case of ADD.icon_rolleyes.gif I only got to your friend's def of homosexuality, scrolled down, realized it was going to take a minute and guessed what the rest of the OP was about. Your friend sounds small minded. Hopefully being friends with you will open his mind to greater possibilities.
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    Jan 15, 2009 1:15 PM GMT
    ItsMyLife - Thank you... but I don't think you got my point. Maybe read it again? This isn't about feeling. This is about awareness.

    and pseudo does have a silent p. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 15, 2009 1:18 PM GMT
    bakejenson saidSorry I have a self-diagnosed case of ADD.icon_rolleyes.gif I only got to your friend's def of homosexuality, scrolled down, realized it was going to take a minute and guessed what the rest of the OP was about. Your friend sounds small minded. Hopefully being friends with you will open his mind to greater possibilities.


    Don't be intimidated by my crazy formatting! icon_sad.gif And he is slowly opening up to different ideas. He's starting to realize he gets to see more of the girls if he hangs out with me... It's a small step, but at least it is in the right direction.