Introvert or Extrovert - What Are You REALLY?

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    Oct 05, 2014 5:16 AM GMT
    I saw the word introvert used today, and it got me thinking -

    I'm inherently an introvert from childhood, very shy and withdrawn. But for years I was in a career field where I was required to be outgoing. So I did my duty, and forced myself to be a glad-hander, though I hated it. My career depended on it. I'd rather have been back home by myself, seeing nobody.

    Nowadays being an extrovert has become my second nature. But even so, each time I meet a stranger I still have this little momentary hesitation, this reluctance, fear even. I guess we can somewhat unlearn our natural behaviors, or at least patch over them. Or make it a well-rehearsed act. But perhaps never entirely reverse who we really are.

    So what are YOU? Introvert or extrovert? Or something in between? Is it how you've always been? Ever think you will change?
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    Oct 05, 2014 5:37 AM GMT
    Being shy and outgoing are traits of being an introvert and extrovert but one of the main factors of what determines an introvert/extrovert is how they maintain their energy when they are around people. My whole life I thought I was an extrovert because I am outgoing and put on a confident exterior but I did a test and I'm quite introverted as well because I can only be around a lot of people for a short amount of time and when I am around people for that short amount of time I'm really happy and excited and I get burned out and then I need to be alone afterwards others I get cranky like a kid lol.
    A lot of my friends see me as a kid with ADHD and always happy and smiling but thats only when they see me only few ever see what I'm really like, like people who I've lived with see me as a very antisocial person because I'm always in my room and I make no apologies for walking away from groups when Ive had enough.
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    Oct 05, 2014 6:00 AM GMT
    I'm a Christian.
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    Oct 05, 2014 6:02 AM GMT
    Sweetooth saidI'm a Christian.

    Now what does THAT mean, relevant to this thread?
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    Oct 05, 2014 6:05 AM GMT
    Art_Deco said
    Sweetooth saidI'm a Christian.

    Now what does THAT mean, relevant to this thread?


    icon_eek.gif
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    Oct 05, 2014 6:12 AM GMT
    Omega_Einhorne said
    ...My whole life I thought I was an extrovert because I am outgoing and put on a confident exterior but... I can only be around a lot of people for a short amount of time and when I am around people for that short amount of time I'm really happy and excited and I get burned out and then I need to be alone afterwards others I get cranky like a kid lol.

    I experience some of that, too. I don't know if it's because I just need a change of pace, or company, or my ability to maintain an artificial facade of sociability can't be sustained indefinitely.

    But when I'm into it I do enjoy it, something I've learned to do, and that much is genuine. I mean, I do LIKE people, I just don't always wanna be around them, and some can intimidate me, put me on guard. Does that make sense?
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    Oct 05, 2014 6:16 AM GMT
    Sweetooth said
    Art_Deco said
    Sweetooth saidI'm a Christian.

    Now what does THAT mean, relevant to this thread?

    icon_eek.gif

    Pop your eyes all you like. Does being a Christian means you're automatically an introvert or an extrovert? That was the question I posed, I didn't ask your religion.
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    Oct 05, 2014 6:18 AM GMT
    Art_Deco said
    Sweetooth said
    Art_Deco said
    Sweetooth saidI'm a Christian.

    Now what does THAT mean, relevant to this thread?

    icon_eek.gif

    Pop your eyes all you like. Does being a Christian means you're automatically an introvert or an extrovert? That was the question I posed, I didn't ask your religion.


    It means you can be either, there is no link.
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    Oct 05, 2014 6:26 AM GMT
    Sweetooth said
    Art_Deco said
    Sweetooth said
    Art_Deco said
    Sweetooth saidI'm a Christian.

    Now what does THAT mean, relevant to this thread?

    icon_eek.gif

    Pop your eyes all you like. Does being a Christian means you're automatically an introvert or an extrovert? That was the question I posed, I didn't ask your religion.

    It means you can be either, there is no link.

    There are most definitely introverts and extroverts, and those somewhere in the middle. Sorta like the sexual scale of gay to straight.

    My question was how YOU identify yourself, and if you've changed during your life. Everyone is by definition either one, or some blend between. That's the dynamic I'm trying to explore.
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    Oct 05, 2014 6:27 AM GMT
    Mostly introverted, but less so than i was when I was younger.
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    Oct 05, 2014 6:29 AM GMT
    100% Extrovert
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    Oct 05, 2014 6:33 AM GMT
    My job forces me to be an extrovert on demand. Also, related thread:
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/2040978
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    Oct 05, 2014 6:38 AM GMT
    willular saidMostly introverted, but less so than i was when I was younger.

    I suspect that's s common pattern. It certainly was with me. I was horribly shy as a child.

    Here's the story of why I always call myself Bob, and never Robert. I was so shy as a kid I couldn't pronounce my own name to strangers!

    My parents most commonly called me Robert. Which is what I tried to say when I had to meet their adult friends. But I swallowed my words in shyness, and would cut out the final "T".

    So I'd say: "I'm Rober...", my voice trailing off. And get a snide response like: "You're a robber? And what do you steal?" I'd turn beat red in the face and want to run away, completely humiliated.

    To solve that problem I started calling myself Bob, because I could pronounce that clearly. And that's what I do to this day.
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    Oct 05, 2014 6:53 AM GMT
    xrichx saidMy job forces me to be an extrovert on demand. Also, related thread:
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/2040978

    An interesting exposition on that thread.

    I also had to be an "extrovert on demand" during my Army career. You can't have a leadership role if you act timid.

    And I also learned to have a firm handshake. I didn't initially, sort of like how I couldn't even pronounce my own name (see my post above). But when I heard negative comments about my limp hand I knew I had to reverse that, or my Army credibility was at risk.

    Easy enough, I had a very strong hand (still do), mainly due to motorcycling of all things. So OK, I'd make it a point to crush these guys when we shook hands. And to this day I'll still have guys complain that my handshake is too firm.

    But better they say that, than thinking I'm too wimpy. I aggressively reach out and grab their hands like I was falling off a cliff, and needed them to save me. With ladies, however, I'm always much more refined & delicate, more a gentle clasp than a vigorous shake. icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Oct 05, 2014 7:38 AM GMT
    WHO CARES?
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    Oct 05, 2014 7:47 AM GMT
    I am an extreme introvert and really shy. This is the main reason why I don't want or need a cell phone. You will never see me anywhere except work, or the grocery store. My colleagues don't even know where I am.

    When I was a volunteer tutor for the Japanese language program for two years at college, that type of work required me to be very talkative and cheery. I usually like correcting kanji stroke order, spelling, etc. but most of the college students wanted to work on their conversational skills.
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    Oct 05, 2014 1:51 PM GMT
    Extrovert. People who know me on a personal level can tell you that I am someone that is socialble and says exactly what is on his mind.
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    Oct 05, 2014 2:43 PM GMT
    An introvert who can be social if need be.
    To be fair, most people are ambivert which is somewhere in the middle ground between introversion and extroversion.
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    Oct 05, 2014 3:21 PM GMT
    Introvert from the time I'm aware of myself. I used to be so shy that I even feel very embarrassed to ask for a glass of water.

    For the past few years, I've been working myself to come out of shyness. Nowadays I can even say 'NO' without any hesitation, Of course in a polite manner. But never let anyone force me to do what I don't want to do. It's quite the opposite in the past.

    Truly, if one can overcome shyness, there will be little difference between extrovert and introverts. Though I consider myself as an introvert, some think I'm otherwise.
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    Oct 05, 2014 3:32 PM GMT
    Extrovert. I talk all day at work, talk to people at the gym and talk to my housemate when I get home (even though he is an introvert and doesn't say much back). I have to be careful not to dominate meetings but I am good at being the person who sorts out the angry client or gives the presentation to a group of people.
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    Oct 05, 2014 6:48 PM GMT
    Bonapart saidWHO CARES?

    Say rather, who cares that YOU don't care? Seems like some of the participants in this thread DO care. Yah know, things aren't always all about YOU. Grow up.
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    Oct 05, 2014 6:56 PM GMT
    pazzy said
    introverted and a self defeatist. i usually think people hate me anyway or people i socially interact with will turn on me so i have a "fuck it" attitude. it's just me being paranoid. fuck it, people laugh at me anyway.

    I'm sorry to hear this, if it's true.

    I know full well that SOME people can be treacherous. I've tried to learn how to identify them, and avoid or deal with them.

    But not all people are. On the contrary, after I came out I found the gay community to be the most accepting & protective I had ever known in my life. Maybe just me, I dunno, but that's been my own experience, one of the many reasons I love being gay.
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    Oct 05, 2014 7:15 PM GMT
    I'm pretty extroverted. I am not overly social though. I don't like huge crowds.
  • cyclinghiker

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    Oct 05, 2014 8:05 PM GMT
    Definitely an introvert here (INFP for the full Myers Briggs personality), but give me a role like teaching, giving a tour, or serving as an emcee, and I can fool people into thinking I am an extrovert. At the end of the day though, give me a great conversation one on one with someone with whom I connect, a good book, or alone time, and I am in my element.
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    Oct 05, 2014 10:26 PM GMT
    I have looked into this extrovert/introvert subject before, from the early 1980s.

    Basically there are two types of extrovertism: people minded and task minded, although the two can blend in one person.

    Likewise introvertism can be artistically minded and slow, peaceful minded, and they can blend in one person. Also a person can have a blend of both extrovert and introvert temperaments, although one is more dominant than the other, such as 60% extrovert and 40% introvert. Conversely, another person can be 80% introvert and 20% extrovert.

    As for myself, I'm mostly introverted, but there is evidence that I can be a task- minded extrovert as well, but that is of the lesser blend.