Are Gay men scared of monogamy

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 09, 2014 1:29 AM GMT
    I was reading this article and it occurred to me there is some truth in the idea that gay men appear to be scared of going through the trials and tribulation and exhilaration that being in a long term relationship that is monogomous or even monogomish. What do you think?
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mark-brennan-rosenberg/are-gay-men-scared-of-monogamy_b_4377924.html
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    Oct 09, 2014 1:31 AM GMT
    I guess there are a lot us that aren't scared. Most of the gay men I know are in long term relationships.
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    Oct 09, 2014 1:35 AM GMT
    I'm no social scientist, nor have I done any studies, but to me, I don't understand why gay men would have this fear more than straight men.
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    Oct 09, 2014 1:35 AM GMT
    HikerSkier saidI guess there are a lot us that aren't scared. Most of the gay men I know are in long term relationships.

    True!
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    Oct 09, 2014 1:36 AM GMT
    Cool, another gay and lifestyle shaming thread.
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    Oct 09, 2014 1:46 AM GMT
    willular saidI'm no social scientist, nor have I done any studies, but to me, I don't understand why gay men would have this fear more than straight men.


    In the closet, later sexual development,
    'men will be men' «--bullshit
    etc.
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    Oct 09, 2014 1:48 AM GMT
    willular saidI'm no social scientist, nor have I done any studies, but to me, I don't understand why gay men would have this fear more than straight men.


    "Why Gay Men Have No More Fear of Monogamy Than Straight Men"

    is a boring headline that would not have made it onto HuffingtonPost.

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    Oct 09, 2014 1:54 AM GMT
    No.
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    Oct 09, 2014 1:55 AM GMT
    This is what completely invalidates the article:

    Don't we want straight people to understand that we want what they want? Whether or not they partake in open relationships or threesomes as their gay counterparts do, they certainly don't talk about it as openly as we do. So to me, the gay community is essentially saying, "We are fighting to have the same rights that you have, but we are going to continue to sleep with people outside our relationship and partake in threeways, because we can, and it's our right to do whatever we want."



    What the fuck do I care about heterosexuals? Straight people generally don't take monogamy seriously. If so, why have there been so many dating shows like The Bachelor or Flavor of Love where straights basically and openly practice polyamoury by having 20 people in a huge mansion kiss and have sex with them? Or shows like Next and Parental Control where they show mostly straight teens on multiple dates? What about Hugh Hefner in his Playboy Mansion or Will Smith and Jada which are in an open relationship? Do gays seriously think straights take monogamy seriously? Also, what does marriage have to do with monogamy? Gays really need to get their heads outta their asses.
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    Oct 09, 2014 1:56 AM GMT
    kevex saidCool, another gay and lifestyle shaming thread.


    Kevex you do have some good replies however it's clear you didn't read the article did you. This article is about what is really happening in the world not just the views you get from surrounding yourself with 'the gay ghetto news'
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Oct 09, 2014 1:57 AM GMT
    Not scared at all, but like my freedom wether I exercise that possibility or not.icon_cool.gif
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    Oct 09, 2014 1:58 AM GMT
    MikemikeMike saidNot scared at all, but like my freedom wether I exercise that possibility or not.icon_cool.gif



    +1


    /thread
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    Oct 09, 2014 2:00 AM GMT
    kevex saidThis is what completely invalidates the article:

    Don't we want straight people to understand that we want what they want? Whether or not they partake in open relationships or threesomes as their gay counterparts do, they certainly don't talk about it as openly as we do. So to me, the gay community is essentially saying, "We are fighting to have the same rights that you have, but we are going to continue to sleep with people outside our relationship and partake in threeways, because we can, and it's our right to do whatever we want."



    What the fuck do I care about heterosexuals? Straight people generally don't take monogamy seriously. If so, why have there been so many dating shows like The Bachelor or Flavor of Love where straights basically and openly practice polyamoury by having 20 people in a huge mansion kiss and have sex with them? Or shows like Next and Parental Control where they show mostly straight teens on multiple dates? What about Hugh Hefner in his Playboy Mansion or Will Smith and Jada which are in an open relationship? Do gays seriously think straights take monogamy seriously? Also, what does marriage have to do with monogamy? Gays really need to get their heads outta their asses.


    Your right about your last quote Kevex coz it's seems the way we are going we are up shit creek without a paddle. You can have your view sure but next time you scream for gay relationship rights tell the truth about what you believe about relationships being open to everybody
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    Oct 09, 2014 2:01 AM GMT
    I have no problem with monogamy. I think it would be great.
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    Oct 09, 2014 2:02 AM GMT
    I don't believe this topic can be correctly approached without statistics.
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    Oct 09, 2014 2:03 AM GMT
    Sydneyrugbyjock73 said
    kevex saidThis is what completely invalidates the article:

    Don't we want straight people to understand that we want what they want? Whether or not they partake in open relationships or threesomes as their gay counterparts do, they certainly don't talk about it as openly as we do. So to me, the gay community is essentially saying, "We are fighting to have the same rights that you have, but we are going to continue to sleep with people outside our relationship and partake in threeways, because we can, and it's our right to do whatever we want."



    What the fuck do I care about heterosexuals? Straight people generally don't take monogamy seriously. If so, why have there been so many dating shows like The Bachelor or Flavor of Love where straights basically and openly practice polyamoury by having 20 people in a huge mansion kiss and have sex with them? Or shows like Next and Parental Control where they show mostly straight teens on multiple dates? What about Hugh Hefner in his Playboy Mansion or Will Smith and Jada which are in an open relationship? Do gays seriously think straights take monogamy seriously? Also, what does marriage have to do with monogamy? Gays really need to get their heads outta their asses.


    Your right about your last quote Kevex coz it's seems the way we are going we are up shit creek without a paddle. You can have your view sure but next time you scream for gay relationship rights tell the truth about what you believe about relationships being open to everybody




    The gays that want to get married are the ones that need to fight for those rights, not the rest. If heterosexuals can do swingers parties and rent hookers and still have the right to get married, why can't homos?
  • Apparition

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    Oct 09, 2014 2:08 AM GMT
    my guess is that once you eliminate the virgins who seem to be rampant here, there are more monogamous people living with their partners on here than there are sluts.
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    Oct 09, 2014 2:08 AM GMT
    Sweetooth saidI don't believe this topic can be correctly approached without statistics.


    You mean like rates of being single and rates of STD infections, substance abuse statistics, suicide rates, mental health issues?? What stats in particular coz gay men are leaders in those above listed fields yet we still think what we are doing is worth defending some how.

    Of course there are plenty who are monogamous and happy, my question is how monogamy is seen as a negative choice and to be looked down on by people. Perhaps those who oppose this would be happier to post on a bimbo type question like who's hotter than someone else, it's probably more to those persons intellect
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    Oct 09, 2014 2:27 AM GMT
    Yes. I start hyperventilating whenever I think about it.
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    Oct 09, 2014 2:31 AM GMT
    Sydneyrugbyjock73 said
    Sweetooth saidI don't believe this topic can be correctly approached without statistics.


    You mean like rates of being single and rates of STD infections, substance abuse statistics, suicide rates, mental health issues?? What stats in particular coz gay men are leaders in those above listed fields yet we still think what we are doing is worth defending some how.

    Of course there are plenty who are monogamous and happy, my question is how monogamy is seen as a negative choice and to be looked down on by people. Perhaps those who oppose this would be happier to post on a bimbo type question like who's hotter than someone else, it's probably more to those persons intellect


    icon_question.gif
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    Oct 09, 2014 2:57 AM GMT
    Sydneyrugbyjock73 said
    Sweetooth saidI don't believe this topic can be correctly approached without statistics.


    You mean like rates of being single and rates of STD infections, substance abuse statistics, suicide rates, mental health issues?? What stats in particular coz gay men are leaders in those above listed fields yet we still think what we are doing is worth defending some how.

    Of course there are plenty who are monogamous and happy, my question is how monogamy is seen as a negative choice and to be looked down on by people. Perhaps those who oppose this would be happier to post on a bimbo type question like who's hotter than someone else, it's probably more to those persons intellect


    They're leaders? If you want to be ridiculous and make random statements without statistical analysis, straight men/people are leaders in FGM, spousal and domestic abuse, rape, cheating in relationships.
    Who said most see it as a negative choice? That'S why I asked for statistics. Also remember, gay men have less of a choice, an are opposed by society. Society forces us oftentimes.
  • highforthis

    Posts: 681

    Oct 09, 2014 3:45 AM GMT
    Statistics

    http://humbumbershoot.wordpress.com/2009/06/09/are-gay-men-more-promiscuous-than-straight-men-analyzing-research-results/

    Anyway, I don't buy the "society forced us into barebacking prolapsed sphincters in anonymous sex mazes" argument
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1117

    Oct 09, 2014 4:32 AM GMT
    HikerSkier saidI guess there are a lot us that aren't scared. Most of the gay men I know are in long term relationships.


    The best answer yet! I rather sleep, explore my sexuality, talk to, eat with, shower with, and share ideas or differences, with someone who is always there; then having to do it all alone!
  • whytehot

    Posts: 1167

    Oct 09, 2014 5:01 AM GMT
    willular saidI'm no social scientist, nor have I done any studies, but to me, I don't understand why gay men would have this fear more than straight men.


    social conditioning - by gay culture, not the "oppressive heteronormative society"
  • whytehot

    Posts: 1167

    Oct 09, 2014 5:03 AM GMT
    highforthis saidStatistics

    http://humbumbershoot.wordpress.com/2009/06/09/are-gay-men-more-promiscuous-than-straight-men-analyzing-research-results/

    Anyway, I don't buy the "society forced us into barebacking prolapsed sphincters in anonymous sex mazes" argument


    First thing I googled came from a right-wing site, and I'm too lazy to verify, but the results don't surprise me

    Yes half of marriages end in divorce... eventually
    IS04C02_1.gif

    But
    IS04C02_3.gif

    http://www.frc.org/content/comparing-the-lifestyles-of-homosexual-couples-to-married-couples

    redistributing the numbers from second graph into first graph for apples-to-apples comparison, (assuming if, for example, 8 people had relationships 4-7 years, 6 are 5 years and above)

    Od8945n.gif