Mom has lung cancer.

  • johnnyqhomo7

    Posts: 119

    Oct 09, 2014 8:03 PM GMT
    Hey, I just found out my mom has stage 4 lung cancer. She is in the hospital right now, don't think she is going to make it. The doctors kept saying emphatically "she is very sick".. icon_sad.gif. Anyhow, suggestions, prayers, anything anyone?
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Oct 09, 2014 8:08 PM GMT
    Don't know much about it, but suggest you become part of the conversation and minimize the boo-hooing in front of your mom. She needs you to stand up and ask the right questions. Be a man. She may need hospice at some point. I went through it with my sister and it is awful but better than leaving her to impersonal hospital workers. Check it out.

    So sorry for the bad news, man.
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    Oct 09, 2014 8:22 PM GMT
    I watched my mother-in-law die of lung cancer right before my eyes. It's an ugly death, and if she was a smoker, what happens immediately post-mortem when the body expels the tar is traumatic if you're at her bedside. Prepare yourself.
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    Oct 10, 2014 12:29 AM GMT
    ill pray for your mom
  • venue35

    Posts: 4644

    Oct 10, 2014 1:19 AM GMT
    Stage 4 is not good but anything can happen so stay strong
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    Oct 10, 2014 1:43 AM GMT
    If you don't think your mom is going to make it, you need to share your thoughts with her doctors. Your mom's comfort is priority and the doctors can order enough meds to keep her as comfortable as possible. Best of hope!
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    Oct 10, 2014 2:09 AM GMT
    All of the comments above.

    I was told my Father was terminal, from cancer, plus his heart was failing, too. Nothing could be done for him.

    Almost 8 years later I was also told my first partner was terminal. And again, nothing could be done.

    Sometimes you just have to be tough for them, even though it's ripping you apart. That is your duty now.

    It's not about YOU, it's about HER, your Mother. You must sarcifice your own feelings and set them aside, in order to do what's best for her.

    And sometimes, if you're dealing with a hospital, there will be counselors there to assist you. To advise you what to do regarding your Mother, and how to personally deal with this situation yourself.

    When I lost my partner I didn't how to handle it. So I sought out the experts, never having been through this before, along with the support of friends. Frankly, it was more my gay friends who helped me than the experts, not having any family, but everyone is different You should look at doing the same.
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    Oct 10, 2014 2:52 AM GMT
    My mum just came back from the hospital yesterday after having a mastectomy (her left tit was removed) leading up to her operation I wasn't sure what I was supposed to feel…..obviously I felt bad for her but for some reason I couldn't show pity for her because we don't show it in our family. The night she stayed over in hospital I had a cold shiver go over me because I she may have had complications in the surgical ward and I became anxious and worried and I had a little cry because we had a fight before she went to hospital and I only got to peck her on the cheek instead of giving her the biggest hug that I had to give.

    Now she's home and in my care I'm doing everything to make sure her room is disinfected and that the dogs don't get near her and that everything she eats is beneficial in every way. There are plethora of feelings and emotions when we are faced with death and disease fear in particular sometimes thats all people can focus on or feel its up to you to be strong and pull her up out of that perspective and up to where you are which is a beacon of positivity.

    I also read an article about cannabis oil and the amazing effects its having on cancer patients, I'm not a doctor but I suggest you do some research on it and try and find yourself a supplier.

    goodluck to you and your mum x
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    Oct 10, 2014 4:10 AM GMT
    Johnny -- I'm so sorry to hear about your mother's condition. Sending prayers.
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    Oct 10, 2014 4:18 AM GMT
    If you do not have any video/audio of her, get it now. You will treasure it for the rest of your life.

    My mother passed six weeks after her stage 4 breast cancer diagnosis.

    Everything you ever wanted to tell her, do it now. You will never have another chance.

    You are in my thoughts.
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    Oct 10, 2014 4:22 AM GMT
    *HUGS* to you and your amma.
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    Oct 10, 2014 4:40 AM GMT
    Sorry boo....icon_cry.gif
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    Oct 10, 2014 11:21 AM GMT
    My mother died of lung cancer too
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    Oct 10, 2014 12:36 PM GMT
    May Allah (god) preserve her and make her recover.
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    Oct 10, 2014 1:36 PM GMT
    most important is to be physically emotionally there for her and the rest of the family friends. Cry in the corner alone if you must but be kind and understanding to EVERYONE including your self.

    Keep track of the medications, and procedures the hospital staff follows and report any neglect. Keep expenses in line with expectations.

    Who will be the estate executor? Get them prepared for the end; get a list of bank accounts, credit cards etc. Locate a copy of the will. Secure a Probate Lawyer if needed.


    sorry for your pain; best wishes.
  • e2ksj3355

    Posts: 110

    Oct 10, 2014 2:42 PM GMT
    Sorry to hear that man, *hugs* icon_sad.gif
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    Oct 10, 2014 2:53 PM GMT
    bon_pan saidIf you do not have any video/audio of her, get it now. You will treasure it for the rest of your life.

    My mother passed six weeks after her stage 4 breast cancer diagnosis.

    Everything you ever wanted to tell her, do it now. You will never have another chance.

    You are in my thoughts.



    Great idea. We did this last year for someone very special. We just sat and talked with her about a lot of subjects, and had an I-phone taping for about an hour. I'm very glad we did that now, while we had the chance. I only wish I'd thought of it years ago for previous friends or relatives. How I'd like to hear their voices again.

    Best of everything to you and your mom. May she be at peace.
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    Oct 11, 2014 3:06 PM GMT
    Agreed to all the above...
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    Oct 11, 2014 5:04 PM GMT
    I am feeling your anxiety mate , my mum passed from lung cancer when i was 17 . It only took 3 weeks for the cancer to spread to her brain .
    Now that said it was in 1977 , a lot of progress have been made in how to treat lung cancer . Go to the Moffitt website , you will find all the information you need .
    My thoughts are with you and your family ,
    Hugs to you all
    Affen