A Mortician Talks Openly About Death, And Wants You To, Too

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    Oct 11, 2014 3:46 PM GMT
    http://www.npr.org/2014/10/08/352765943/a-mortician-talks-openly-about-death-and-wants-you-to-too?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=npr&utm_term=nprnews&utm_content=202408
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    Oct 12, 2014 3:41 AM GMT
    Thank you.
  • Bunjamon

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    Oct 12, 2014 5:18 AM GMT
    I loved this interview. It might sound cliché, but watching "Six Feet Under," which takes place in a funeral home and is about the family that runs it, change the way I think about death in much this way. This mortician sounds pretty bitchin'.
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    Oct 12, 2014 6:18 AM GMT
    Bunjamon saidI loved this interview. It might sound cliché, but watching "Six Feet Under," which takes place in a funeral home and is about the family that runs it, change the way I think about death in much this way. This mortician sounds pretty bitchin'.


    I don't watch much TV and have never seen that show, but I do walk my dog through the cemetery every night. It was difficult at first to be reminded of death each night, plus there are no lights out there so it's pretty terrifying. But now I look forward to it each night and find it peaceful.
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    Oct 12, 2014 5:15 PM GMT
    every boy on the planet, if their lucky, will for sure witness their parents death. This best done when we are 55 years old. No matter what, than you will be truly alone in the world.
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    Oct 12, 2014 5:24 PM GMT
    Death doesn't scare me, nor do dead people. Last year on a biz trip to Calgary I went to a local pub with a co-worker..it was a cold snowy Sunday nite and the place was 'dead' ( pardon the pun). The building was an old church converted into a pub. At 11pm my friend and I were the only ones left and got talking to the waitress who told us that before it was a church it was an old morgue/funeral home in the 20ies, 30ies and 40ies. Well, she took us on a tour of the basement and showed us the embalming room ( which was now the cold storage room) and also showed us the tiled corner where the remnants of the old stack for cremation were. It was super creepy but quite fascinating. Secretly I wished we could have had some 'bump in the nite' shit go down, but it didn't happen. icon_smile.gif
    I love old cemeteries and stuff like that. icon_smile.gif
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    Oct 12, 2014 6:07 PM GMT
    Thanks for posting this...having dealt with death a lot in the past few
    years, it was a good read, and Caitlin Doughty sounds like she's
    got her head screwed on straight.
    "Accepting your own mortality is like eating your vegetables: You may not want to do it, but it's good for you," she says.

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    Oct 12, 2014 6:13 PM GMT
    pellaz saidevery boy on the planet, if their lucky, will for sure witness their parents death. This best done when we are 55 years old. No matter what, than you will be truly alone in the world.


    Yep, I'm there now. Just trying to get the house cleaned out by the start of selling season next spring and get this house sold.
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    Oct 12, 2014 7:31 PM GMT
    pellaz said... No matter what, than you will be truly alone in the world.


    Are you ever really alone when you are alone? Are you ever truly not alone when you are with someone? I've sometimes felt more alone out in public with others than I would have had I stayed at home.

    And I'm not quite certain of the connect with being there to witness the cremation of a loved one... To push the ignition button?
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    Oct 12, 2014 7:45 PM GMT
    freedomisntfree said... Yep, I'm there now. Just trying to get the house cleaned out ...


    feel for you;
    -it took my breath away selling the house i grew up in.
    -estate situations usually sell under value
    -keep in mind the proceed are federal & state tax free
    -you might have an agent or two go through the house and suggest small improvements that can add value.
    -every state has different probate laws. You might look into putting an add in a newspaper to notify creditors. You can close the estate early that way
    -update continue with home owners insurance, beneficiary "estate of John Smith"
    -of course you will have to file state & federal income taxes for the "estate of John smith" but again any money you get out of the estate is tax free.

    good luck
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    Oct 12, 2014 8:30 PM GMT
    pellaz said
    freedomisntfree said... Yep, I'm there now. Just trying to get the house cleaned out ...


    feel for you;
    -it took my breath away selling the house i grew up in.
    -estate situations usually sell under value
    -keep in mind the proceed are federal & state tax free
    -you might have an agent or two go through the house and suggest small improvements that can add value.
    -every state has different probate laws. You might look into putting an add in a newspaper to notify creditors. You can close the estate early that way
    -update continue with home owners insurance, beneficiary "estate of John Smith"
    -of course you will have to file state & federal income taxes for the "estate of John smith" but again any money you get out of the estate is tax free.

    good luck


    Thanks. Yeah, I'm going to do the same thing I told my sellers to do before we put a house on the market in SoCal way back in my residential days and that is get a home inspection and fix what can be fixed.

    The will is still lost so we will have to take it through probate court.

    It does feel really strange in that I rented my house out in SoCal in 2010 to come back here to take care of my parents. And where I sit at this very moment is where I sat five or so decades ago. Even my elementary school report cards are in the desk drawer beneath my right hand (why on several of them is an asterisk with a handwritten note that says "he talks to much") and my high school and OSU yearbooks on the bookshelf to my left. And my huge model car collection that spills over into both closests. It's like this room had never been touched since I left at 18. All feels very surreal.
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    Oct 14, 2014 4:03 PM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidAs people "age" they tend to focus, if not obsess, on their mortality.

    Life is precious so don't let it 'slit' I mean slip you by.

    icon_wink.gif


    Good point. And I'm sure those with incurable diseases might also focus, if not obsess on their mortality too.
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    Oct 15, 2014 1:47 AM GMT
    What a dumb topic.
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    Oct 15, 2014 4:09 AM GMT
    kevex saidWhat a dumb topic.


    The biggest troll on the site is telling someone else they posted a dumb topic? icon_rolleyes.gif There's probably nothing more important in this life than getting comfortable with death and dying since it's something we all must do eventually. What an idiotic thing to say.
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    Oct 15, 2014 4:13 AM GMT
    Im not scared of death but I dont wanna die.
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    Oct 15, 2014 4:16 AM GMT
    David3K saidIm not scared of death but I dont wanna die.


    I've always been terrified of death but been getting more comfortable with it lately. For the past 3 months I've been walking my dog through the cemetery every night. At first it made me very uncomfortable, but now I look forward to it. It's very peaceful and beautiful and it's my time to contemplate death each day.
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    Oct 15, 2014 4:31 AM GMT
    We have some wonderful old cemeteries on the island. I like walking thru them. I remember one in particular where the tombs were caving in. It was creepy, almost like the spirits were escaping. I used to eat my lunch there… LOL. They have since restored it and closed it off to the public.
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    Oct 15, 2014 4:36 AM GMT
    hairyandym saidWe have some wonderful old cemeteries on the island. I like walking thru them. I remember one in particular where the tombs were caving in. It was creepy, almost like the spirits were escaping. I used to eat my lunch there… LOL. They have since restored it and closed it off to the public.


    Same here. In a couple of them you can look into the mausoleums and see where the suits have decayed around the bones and the shoes are dangling from the skeleton. Oddly enough, the only thing that hasn't aged a day are the carnations that are pinned to the lapels. They're yellowed but still completely intact. icon_neutral.gif
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    Oct 15, 2014 4:42 AM GMT
    icon_eek.gif get out! really you can see the bones? icon_eek.gif
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Oct 15, 2014 4:45 AM GMT
    --- I can't imagine anyone wanting to witness a cremation, much less taking part in it by "pushing the button" that fires up the oven. Yikes.

    --- "Six Feet Under" was an extremely well written series that I think anyone would love. The show was mostly about the family members lives and loves. Their funeral business was always a part of the show, but not the main focus. Never the less, it was somewhat educational, in that respect.

    --- It's funny. I can remember when my grandfather died, and going to the funeral home with my father, and sitting there listening to him answer all the questions about what he wanted for the service and the burial. I think it's kind of interesting (and odd) that MANY years ago, my grandfather bought 8 plots in the cemetery where many of my family members are buried. There's one empty plot left. But, I don't want it.

    --- I plan to be cremated...
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    Oct 15, 2014 4:51 AM GMT
    Been familiar with death since very young (my mother died when i was 9) then my grandma, uncle and even my sister in law. Im not scared of death but not atteacted to it either , dont see the point of wondering cemetaries like some of you do. When the time comes ill be ready meanwhile have more interesting things to focus on
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    Oct 15, 2014 4:56 AM GMT
    i like the history, the monuments, the mausoleums. Most of the really old one here have the doors boarded up. Im not sure how i would feel about seeing the bones as Scruffy said. I would imagine the cemeteries in New Orleans are amazing. I think the funerals they have with the singing and jazz music are awesome. Thats the way to go out! icon_lol.gif
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    Oct 15, 2014 5:03 AM GMT
    pazzy saidwould like to be cremated. who cares who does it. just don't scatter my ashes in new jersey though. scatter me in the upstate ny woods.

    I always had this thought of a guy all solemn about to throw the ashes of a loved one to the sea; so he throwes them in the air when a strong wind comes and all the ashes ends in his face, eyes and mouth icon_lol.gif
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    Oct 15, 2014 5:09 AM GMT
    REPENT FUCKERS.......

    Or that warm feeling you have after death
    will last an eternity. icon_twisted.gif


    I liked the topic. Thanks
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    Oct 15, 2014 5:13 AM GMT
    David3K saidBeen familiar with death since very young (my mother died when i was 9) then my grandma, uncle and even my sister in law. Im not scared of death but not atteacted to it either , dont see the point of wondering cemetaries like some of you do. When the time comes ill be ready meanwhile have more interesting things to focus on



    no wonder you are so fucked