Friend might be trying to pass his boyfriend to me

  • smegnificient

    Posts: 265

    Oct 13, 2014 4:07 AM GMT
    In a few months, a friend of mine will be moving a 4-hour drive away for work, telling us that he'll probably break up with his boyfriend who is staying, who also happened to be right there protesting "uh we haven't discussed that yet" lol. The same long-suffering boyfriend is a bit of a push-over and also had to endure other awkward conversations where my friend is musing to us about how he doesn't think he's in love. We hang out as a group with other friends, but in all honesty the boyfriend has a lot more in common with me than with anyone else in the group, especially my friend, who is very queeny (yet the top in the relationship).

    It also coincided with more and more instances of my friend making comments to me about his boyfriend "doesn't he have a nice ass?" with the bf right there cringing. Or asking his bf about me "he's kinda your type isn't he?", to which his bf would sometimes admit yes.

    At first I thought he had somehow sensed my slight attraction to the bf and is just teasing us, but he's also managed to set up a number of situations where his bf and I are alone together. Now I'm thinking since it's been a mostly one-sided relationship and a one-sided breakup that will happen in months, he's trying to soften the "transition" by passing the bf off to me? Do people actually do this?
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Oct 13, 2014 5:02 AM GMT
    Your "friend" is a total shit and someone who should be immediately ejected from your life. With verbal acknowledgement of his lack of any integrity. The boyfriend, however, may be of some value although his inability to stand for himself suggests that he's of extremely low self-esteem. Maybe salvageable. If you're attracted, you might give it a shot.
  • KittenpasteCo...

    Posts: 245

    Oct 13, 2014 11:59 AM GMT
    My first thought was "save him!". This is why I have dating problems... lol.
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    Oct 13, 2014 1:48 PM GMT
    Does the boyfriend have a brain? In this story he sounds like an old shirt
  • Buddha

    Posts: 1765

    Oct 13, 2014 2:29 PM GMT
    Strange situation. Regardless it at least seems like your friend is feeling some major guilt over leaving his boyfriend, and trying to find a way to alleviate that guilt.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Oct 13, 2014 3:02 PM GMT
    Your "friend" doesn't sound much like the kind I'd want if he treats his bf like that. I'd probably have a serious conversation with the bf about whats up, just so you can better understand the situation, but unless you want to interject yourself directly into their situation (and drama), I'd be careful. I certainly think what your friend is doing isn't appropriate.
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    Oct 13, 2014 4:02 PM GMT
    Your friend seems to lack any redeeming qualities. Be glad he's moving away. Seems a win/win for you and the milk toast, soon-to-be ex.
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    Oct 13, 2014 4:32 PM GMT
    smegnificient saidespecially my friend, who is very queeny (yet the top in the relationship).


    Do we still do this? Seriously, a top in a relationship? I feel like I've just stepped into a time machine...

    Regarding your situation:
    Slap your friend for me please. And tell him to break it up as soon as possible.
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    Oct 13, 2014 5:47 PM GMT
    Your friend is a jerk. Be grateful he's moving four hours away. If you strike up a relationship with the doormat be prepared for the "friend" to act as if you got his "left-overs".icon_rolleyes.gif


    PS take note that the responses from the older guys are pretty unanimous....
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    Oct 13, 2014 6:11 PM GMT
    klobasnik said
    smegnificient saidespecially my friend, who is very queeny (yet the top in the relationship).


    Do we still do this? Seriously, a top in a relationship? I feel like I've just stepped into a time machine...

    Regarding your situation:
    Slap your friend for me please. And tell him to break it up as soon as possible.


    I am often taken aback at how rude gay people are that think they have a right to know the intimate details of yours and your partner's sex life. There is no real right answer to "So who's the top?" except "None of your fucking business." It amazes me that not only will friends ask this questions but total strangers in bars.

    In my 22 years as a married man never once did anyone ask about my wife's and my sex life, preferred positions, fetishes, etc. Somehow gay men (and some straights: "who's the girl?") think this information should be common knowledge in the community.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 13, 2014 6:24 PM GMT
    icon_lol.gif Sometimes I dunno if I should laugh at these type of posts or laugh at the people that take the bait. Do people here seriously believe these stories posted here by fake/unverified/faceless accounts? icon_rolleyes.gificon_question.gif
  • smegnificient

    Posts: 265

    Oct 14, 2014 3:24 AM GMT
    ^^lol aren't you a bit young to be one of those forum lifers who try to exclude people from their little online social club for not giving up their privacy?

    I come here for a third opinion. Frankly quite surprised by how hated my friend is on here, and how weak the bf seemed to have come across. I've always found the friend very amusing for his lack of filters, but maybe I got used to it. I wouldn't be able to stand the friend in the context of a relationship, but only because of how bossy he is, which I didn't mention.
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    Oct 15, 2014 5:12 AM GMT
    hmm the bf should break up with ur friend if he knows its going to happen in a few months. it should be a choice to be with you and not by "default" cause ur friend is moving n trying to push him on u.

    i dont think its necessarily a bad thing that he is trying to get u two together because u two seem like a better match :s dont know if he jus trying to get off without having any problems or genuinely wants u two to be together..

    but u wudnt wanna go with this guy because he jus so happened to get dumped.. but rather because he realized he might jus like u more than ur friend? thats how i see it
  • whytehot

    Posts: 1165

    Oct 16, 2014 12:30 AM GMT
    smegnificient said^^lol aren't you a bit young to be one of those forum lifers who try to exclude people from their little online social club for not giving up their privacy?


    LOL there's a lot of those, and ur right, they're usually older. But Kevex is prolly one of their socks anyway

    Your friend sounds like one of those gays who have thrown all social conventions out the window because it's "heteronormative"
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    Oct 16, 2014 12:44 AM GMT
    whytehot said
    smegnificient said^^lol aren't you a bit young to be one of those forum lifers who try to exclude people from their little online social club for not giving up their privacy?


    LOL there's a lot of those, and ur right, they're usually older. But Kevex is prolly one of their socks anyway

    Your friend sounds like one of those gays who have thrown all social conventions out the window because it's "heteronormative"



    Dude, you, the OP and theonewhoknocks are the same person.