Is gay life all about sex?

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    Oct 16, 2014 8:04 AM GMT
    can we try and build something more concrete on LOVE before sex?
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Oct 16, 2014 1:38 PM GMT
    What's wrong with sex first? Saving your virginity so your man will know the child is his? You can rise above hetero-normative that was established to keep women safe and provide for children's well being. It doesn't apply to you. Having sex with a guy doesn't preclude falling in love with him. In fact, it can get you there quicker. Doesn't mean you have to trick for very guy you meet, ya know.
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Oct 16, 2014 2:08 PM GMT
    Did he say he was a virgin?
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Oct 16, 2014 3:00 PM GMT
    Nope. It's just that love doesn't come around all the time. If you're lucky, you get it a couple of times. I see no reason to live a sex-less life while waiting for love. You might be waiting a long time.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Oct 16, 2014 3:09 PM GMT
    You've never heard of gay couples getting married...? icon_confused.gif
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    Oct 16, 2014 3:14 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidYou've never heard of gay couples getting married...? icon_confused.gif



    Gay couples have sex so technically,gay life is about sex.
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    Oct 16, 2014 4:34 PM GMT
    Of course not. There's brunch, shopping, watching HGTV, drinks with your fag hag, etc.
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    Oct 16, 2014 8:43 PM GMT
    Destinharbor saidNope. It's just that love doesn't come around all the time. If you're lucky, you get it a couple of times. I see no reason to live a sex-less life while waiting for love. You might be waiting a long time.


    nice words
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    Oct 16, 2014 8:58 PM GMT
    Sex is fun!
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    Oct 16, 2014 8:58 PM GMT
    Yes it is about sex. Let's just call it as it is
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    Oct 16, 2014 10:04 PM GMT
    pazzy said
    Destinharbor saidWhat's wrong with sex first? Saving your virginity so your man will know the child is his? You can rise above hetero-normative that was established to keep women safe and provide for children's well being. It doesn't apply to you. Having sex with a guy doesn't preclude falling in love with him. In fact, it can get you there quicker. Doesn't mean you have to trick for very guy you meet, ya know.


    giphy.gif


    I tend to agree that it would be interesting to hear something more thoughtful than the same warmed-over "free love" message.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3525

    Oct 17, 2014 3:30 AM GMT
    No, it is about getting to be the guy who got to shop for THIS SCENE in harry potter! OMG.

    18.jpg
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    Oct 17, 2014 7:29 PM GMT
    sf_swimmer said

    I tend to agree that it would be interesting to hear something more thoughtful than the same warmed-over "free love" message.


    Then say it yourself. What is the message you think this OP needs to hear?

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    Oct 17, 2014 7:37 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidYou've never heard of gay couples getting married...? icon_confused.gif


    Apparently, he didn't read that huffington post article about the young 20 year olds devoting their love to each other and showcasing it to the world.
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    Oct 17, 2014 8:01 PM GMT
    Sydneyrugbyjock73 saidYes it is about sex. Let's just call it as it is


    Good heavens, no more so than straight life.
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    Oct 19, 2014 5:45 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    Sydneyrugbyjock73 saidYes it is about sex. Let's just call it as it is


    Good heavens, no more so than straight life.


    I'm sensing you have many str8 friends or you would know that your statement is one that reflects a gay mans way of thinking
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    Oct 19, 2014 7:32 PM GMT
    GloriousCockster said
    sf_swimmer said

    I tend to agree that it would be interesting to hear something more thoughtful than the same warmed-over "free love" message.


    Then say it yourself. What is the message you think this OP needs to hear?



    Well since you asked, I'm very skeptical that something more in the nature of love than lust can be built at this point, or perhaps ever. The primacy of lust and sex is enforced with an almost fascistic fervor, and contrary views, and those who hold them, are subject to incredibly harsh attacks. Men thus become jaded very quickly and stop trying to be loving at a very young age. And when you think about it, the only thing everyone here has in common is a common sexual orientation, which is a very weak foundation to build upon. Communities that thrive and allow love and friendships to really take root are based on much more than just a biological proclivity.
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    Oct 19, 2014 7:44 PM GMT
    I m sure it's not all about sex, friendships and love are the most things that matter to me.
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1116

    Oct 19, 2014 10:46 PM GMT
    fwbest saidcan we try and build something more concrete on LOVE before sex?


    Sex is the easy part, and that is why so many people(straight,gay,bi)make a priority! but if you really want something more solid and substantial,friendship and love should be a priority for you!
  • johnnylee

    Posts: 2

    Oct 20, 2014 12:36 AM GMT
    what is wrong with sex first
    oh so much can be said about that
    too many put sex first
    too many think lust or sex is love
    friendship and love is not lust or sex or desire
    since the 1970's I have been around and between my
    life as gay and as a psychic I learn this
    you must know something to click
    when things do not click when all there is to be found is
    just sex or lust things will not last
    In Hook-Up Sex you and your partner use each other's bodies for your own pleasure. It can be extremely intense and arousing, especially when you feel lust towards a new partner. There's a place for this kind of sex, but it's also the most primitive, least evolved form of sex. It reflects the purely animal part of being human -- our physiological needs and impulses. We share those with other animal species. From a human standpoint, though, it's mostly void of relationship beyond the physical connection; a form of playing through using each other's bodies
    "Marital Sex" reflects a higher plane than "Hook-Up" sex because it includes some degree of emotional connection and intimacy. At least it does at the beginning of the relationship. But what tends to happen is what most not all couples experienced: Their sex life had changed as did their life sex and lust is nothing to start a life with
    I have friends from 1968 and we never have had sex people I have known when I was under 20 years old
    but my sex partners they are gone only a few are left
  • johnnylee

    Posts: 2

    Oct 20, 2014 12:37 AM GMT
    LEANDRO_NJ said
    fwbest saidcan we try and build something more concrete on LOVE before sex?


    Sex is the easy part, and that is why so many people(straight,gay,bi)make a priority! but if you really want something more solid and substantial,friendship and love should be a priority for you!


    icon_biggrin.gif

    yes your right
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    Oct 20, 2014 12:51 AM GMT
    It certainly seems to be however based on the fact there are actually happily partnered people on here obviously it's not.
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    Oct 20, 2014 1:41 AM GMT
    Sydneyrugbyjock73 said
    meninlove said
    Sydneyrugbyjock73 saidYes it is about sex. Let's just call it as it is


    Good heavens, no more so than straight life.


    I'm sensing you have many str8 friends or you would know that your statement is one that reflects a gay mans way of thinking


    Yes, we have many many many straight friends and acquaintances, in many walks of life. A lot of them know gay people who are not solely about sex. Many of these straight people we know post on FB (one group we are part of is about 1,500 people with about 6 gays). They (straights) post sexually charged memes and suggestive jokes constantly, lol. Those single would love nothing more than to get laid and hopefully get a BF or GF.

    ...I take the straights you know are for the most part sexless beings?
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    Oct 20, 2014 2:01 AM GMT
    lol, my facetious comments aside, SydneyRugbyJock, scroll down this forum and look at all the lovelorn topics, topics about wanting a BF, topics about love and relationships, topics started by lonely hearts. *winks*


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    Oct 20, 2014 2:33 AM GMT
    meninlove said
    Sydneyrugbyjock73 said
    meninlove said
    Sydneyrugbyjock73 saidYes it is about sex. Let's just call it as it is


    Good heavens, no more so than straight life.


    I'm sensing you have many str8 friends or you would know that your statement is one that reflects a gay mans way of thinking


    Yes, we have many many many straight friends and acquaintances, in many walks of life. A lot of them know gay people who are not solely about sex. Many of these straight people we know post on FB (one group we are part of is about 1,500 people with about 6 gays). They (straights) post sexually charged memes and suggestive jokes constantly, lol. Those single would love nothing more than to get laid and hopefully get a BF or GF.

    ...I take the straights you know are for the most part sexless beings?


    That's really great to hear you are having friendship/acquaintances who have given you an experience many gay me don't have which is to be open and comfortable with themselves and those who are different

    My point is that the evidence points to most Gay men being gay is about having sex with other men as the most important thing above all else (there are always exceptions of course).

    Sex 1st not dates are the most common approach for homosexual men, however str8 men are always going to want more promiscuity, women are socialised to not allow rampant sex with NSA.

    There is more support from other hetrosexuals to date 1st and sex 2nd but that is only replicated by a small portion of the gay community and from what I have seen mainly confined to the young or newly out if older.

    I can imagine the response to this post will be the usual "if the hetro world was more supportive" or "if we had gay marriage things would be different" but deep down we all know that while those statements hold some truth, the real truth is the way our culture wants to espouse free love and to make our own rules, stuff the non-gay or bi community they don't matter.

    For the record I am not trying to "slut shame" or make gay men be exactly like hetrosexuals but I am not going pretend our culture is much more sexually focused than the non gay or bi community.

    Also People on here to often take overall observations as a personal insult just because they are the exception, to those people take a step out of your own little portion of the world and think a little broader pls