How do you guys "break the ice" online?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 16, 2009 2:48 AM GMT
    So, I admit, I'm kind of a social dork. When I try to start a conversation with someone online I don't know, I have the hardest time. First, they usually never answer. Or if they do, it's very short, but polite responses, that are obviously communicating "thanks, but not interested".

    So, I was curious, how do you guys start (or keep going) a productive conversation with someone you find interesting?
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    Jan 16, 2009 3:15 AM GMT
    Have you noticed it is similar as in the public world? How do you handle similar situations in public? Do you rely on eye contact? I believe most people do. Or if you just randomly go up to someone you see, once that eye contact is made, it will determine the rest. Some are gentlemen and will here you out, which is very nice no matter the outcome.

    So here on RJ or other sites *ahem* if someone doesn't reply or replies "limply" then it's like someone in public not returning the eye contact or someone who acknowledges you by saying "Hi" and then turns back to talk to his friends - not interested. Otherwise they are fakes, freaks or just really too shy to say hi to someone they think is an absolute stud! :-p I'm not an expert, but that is my observation based on my limited experience, and my much more "experienced" friends. This is a different way to interact with people, and as such, is much more open (or closed) icon_smile.gif
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    Jan 16, 2009 3:18 AM GMT
    All depends on what I want to say. Usually, I'm a chatty Kathy and just find a guy interesting and want to tell him that. If we get all talky together then "Yay!"
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    Jan 16, 2009 3:22 AM GMT
    I don't ever stop talking...especially when it comes to something that I am passionate about. I could find something to say to a rock or a two by four piece of wood.

    Ask an off the wall question, or something that is open ended...usually works for me.
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    Jan 16, 2009 3:41 AM GMT
    This is a good question. I've often wondered about this too. I can chat all day if there's a topic that interests both of us. But chatting online, it's hard to tell if the other guy wants to continue chatting, or is just providing polite responses.

    Because honestly, I get the impression that most guys don't want to talk to you for extended periods of time, unless they find you attractive.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 16, 2009 3:42 AM GMT
    asl? how big iz ur cawk? omg lemme hav it
    icon_cool.gif

    If that doesn't work, you might want to engage them about Dostoyevsky.
  • Thirdbeach

    Posts: 1364

    Jan 16, 2009 3:44 AM GMT
    Try:

    http://www.wikihow.com/Talk-to-Strangers

    Let me know if it helps. Thanks
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    Jan 16, 2009 3:49 AM GMT
    i agree with justinono, except that i would add that if someone doesn't even make an effort to reply back at ALL (not even saying "hi"), or doesn't even say "thanks" for being added to your "hotlist", they are quite possibly extremely self-absorbed. in that case, just move on.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 16, 2009 3:50 AM GMT
    Yes, off the wall comments work well, like

    "Do you pick you boogers and fling them"

    "How does your spicy Italian sausage taste"

    But be careful - you wouldn't want it to be a cheap pickup line...


  • Freddo

    Posts: 246

    Jan 16, 2009 4:06 AM GMT
    Try to find something you guys have in common. If you are both interested in the same topic the convo may go on for hours.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 16, 2009 4:14 AM GMT
    Some guys just blow right past "breaking the ice". It's called "craigslist".

    Just ask bakejenson.
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    Jan 16, 2009 4:17 AM GMT
    Or....some I've gotten like this....true story.

    "I have a rimming chair. Would you come over and let me lick your stinky, smelly, behind (paraphrased) after you work out?"

    That always gets my attention. I click ignore.

    In reality, conversation is about engagement. You engage the other person in interesting conversation, based upon a common interest. Good conversation is NOT about lust, nor adoration, nor being rude, but, about being compelling.

    I can talk with a complete stranger for hours, if they understand the art. Most folks don't.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 16, 2009 4:17 AM GMT
    " Hi my name is _____" works 8 times out of 10. In the real world too!
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    Jan 16, 2009 4:19 AM GMT
    One I got from a guy on gay.com...

    "If I pay you $400, could you come over, beat me up, and use me like a toilet?"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 16, 2009 4:19 AM GMT
    hotshotcdn said" Hi my name is _____" works 8 times out of 10. In the real world too!


    If only some guys could get that through their thick skulls! LOL
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 16, 2009 4:21 AM GMT
    Hi my name is Justin.

    Let me see... still waiting.... icon_rolleyes.gif

    oh I have to chat or talk with someone directly... icon_smile.gif SCARY.... just kidding.


    Flex and Chuckystud - I have no words for that experience. geez...
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    Jan 16, 2009 4:29 AM GMT
    It comes with living in Dallas LOL! I'm always getting some weird requests. That one was the worst.

    I feel pretty bad for chuck. You won't believe how many "SEND ME YOUR UNDERWEAR!" messages he gets off youtube.
  • JayneCobb

    Posts: 709

    Jan 16, 2009 4:38 AM GMT
    "How much does an elephant weight?"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 16, 2009 4:49 AM GMT
    Wow.....great topic. As stated: I agree with letting of of your ego, communication is really an exchange of energy/vibes and one that I would add: the ability to listen.
  • Freddo

    Posts: 246

    Jan 16, 2009 4:53 AM GMT
    flex89 saidOne I got from a guy on gay.com...

    "If I pay you $400, could you come over, beat me up, and use me like a toilet?"


    Yeah, and you still didn't answer me.






    ....I am joking geez
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 16, 2009 4:57 AM GMT
    online it's become common for people to not respond to messages, so i wouldn't take it personally. otherwise, try not to limit yourself in terms of a number of people you contact, you never know who'd be an even better fit than you thought. on chat lines, for some weird reason i always found that if i was in a great mood that particular day, my conversations were always more "productive" and reverse was usually true. i guess you can project your moods, even online.
  • Thirdbeach

    Posts: 1364

    Jan 16, 2009 5:23 AM GMT
    JayneCobb said"How much does an elephant weight?"


    enough to break the ice...
    Hi I'm Rick...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 16, 2009 5:28 AM GMT
    Have you tried a faceless cock-shot? They're quite popular for breaking the ice.

    Ah, but I guess you're looking for a positive reaction. Hmmmm.

    I think it's important to keep at the conversation, ask questions, share something about yourself, even though the response is initially stilted. For me, I'm a bit cold at first because 9 out of 10 people who contact me are bots. Usually only real people will be able to answer questions properly. Or maybe I just failed the Turing test. Hmmm.
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    Jan 16, 2009 5:35 AM GMT
    It bugs me when guys send messages which say something like "Hi I'm xxx, I'd like to know more about you, please email me at (insert random email address)". It makes me suspicious, why wouldn't they (at least initially) just wanna exchange messages on RJ?
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    Jan 16, 2009 5:44 AM GMT
    I'm clueless. I get this almost every day. Some random person opens an IM window.

    "Hey." or "Nice Chest" or whatever

    me: "Good Evening, how are you?" or whatever.

    I'll try two or three opening topics, but get only monosyllabic responses. Maybe one line about the weather.

    Eventually one of us gets bored and stops responding.

    I suspect they're actually waiting for me to launch into some sort of textual pornography, but I haven't actually tried that.