Jealous of my boyfriend?

  • ringmybell

    Posts: 3

    Oct 21, 2014 9:35 AM GMT
    Hey fellas. New to this so please be politee.
    Well me and my boyfriend have been seeing each other for just under 3 months. well the thing is, i feel like i get jealous of his very attractive looks and charm. He's incredibly polite to everyone and so so friendly. He's great at socialising. he's only been in this country for 7 months and has made many friends in that small period of time. He was a model back in his home country and is always messaging his friends 24/7 via whatsapp/facebook. He's certainly better then me at socialising even though i have friends.. like when I'll send him romantic messages and stuff, he'll just send me a bunch of different love hearts and cute emotes. Seems like he's so busy with his friends. I hate this feeling of jealousy... It's eating me up and making me weak. Plus I've been out of work the past two weeks and i just end up thinking of him, ALL THE FREAKING TIME...
    he means so much to me. I'm jealous of his social skills and the 100+ likes he gets on his Facebook pictures. I feel like i want all his attention but then i know he has many friends to give time to also. We see each other once or twice a week. Please help me get over this stupid ass sad problem... Need advice...
    ;(
    Thanks in advanced fellas...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 21, 2014 10:12 AM GMT
    You need to read your post again because the problem is right in front of you. You're not jealous of his social skill abilities or the abundant friends he has on facebook, you're jealous because you two are only with each other a couple of times a week and you appear to want more time. If you two saw each other everyday, I doubt you would care about his 100+ likes on facebook.
  • ringmybell

    Posts: 3

    Oct 21, 2014 11:43 AM GMT
    Thanks for the reply, Erik.
    It's hard to see him every day as I'm having to look for work constantly and he's having visa issues..
    He always tells me to feel him with me when we're not physically together.
    I don't understand how to feel him with me when we are apart from each other.
    I don't know how to properly cope with missing him when I'm away from him.. It distracts me from everything. Makes me feel more vulnerable..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 21, 2014 12:36 PM GMT
    ringmybell saidI don't understand how to feel him with me when we are apart from each other.
    I don't know how to properly cope with missing him when I'm away from him.. It distracts me from everything. Makes me feel more vulnerable..

    It sounds like this relationship is making you miserable.
    You say you're feeling incomplete, inferior in looks and social skills, insecure, etc etc.
    A healthy relationship should make you feel happy, fulfilled, confident in your partner.
    Unless you can somehow work on improving your self-confidence, this is not the right guy for you.
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    Oct 21, 2014 6:32 PM GMT
    ringmybell saidThanks for the reply, Erik.
    It's hard to see him every day as I'm having to look for work constantly and he's having visa issues..
    He always tells me to feel him with me when we're not physically together.
    I don't understand how to feel him with me when we are apart from each other.
    I don't know how to properly cope with missing him when I'm away from him.. It distracts me from everything. Makes me feel more vulnerable..


    No problem but after reading your response, you two have a bigger problem and that's his visa issues. If his visa doesn't work out, then you have emotionally invested in a relationship that will most likely end due to distance. Unless you are one of those strong minded guys who can endure a long distance relationship, then I would find out more about his visa issues first before you continue your pursuit in a relationship with this guy.
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    Oct 21, 2014 8:38 PM GMT
    It sounds like you are really in love with him. First of all, if I were you I would tell him that I want more of his attention for myself, he might just not realize that he's not giving you as much of it as you'd like. But also keep in mind that he might not be able to provide it. My boyfriend is just not able to send me as much pics / videos as I'd like when we are not physically together, so I had to cope with it on my own. Secondly, sort out the visa stuff so you can be more often together.

    Oh and while physical appearance and popularity might be important to you, it doesn't mean it's how he evaluates you. (I said it because you sound unsecure about yourself when you talk about him.)
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    Oct 21, 2014 9:20 PM GMT
    You are only 20 and need time to mature. Develop your own self and make your own life. When you do that you will have something to bring to a relationship and won't be so clingy.

    My BF also has visa issues - he's here on a visitor's visa and has to go back to Mexico every 6 months or so. Soon we will have to deal with being apart As we had to briefly this summer.

    My BF also has many friends (in Mexico) and I do not begrudge his texting them - even during our dates and we only see each other two or three times a week as he lives 75 miles away. I know he misses them. I want him to keep in touch with them. His happiness is very important to me.

    I know I'm rambling, but I guess what I'm trying to say is that jealousy is only a manifestation of the insecurity you feel. Develop a sense of you own self worth - a sense of your own identity - and the jealousy will subside (hopefully).
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    Oct 21, 2014 9:36 PM GMT
    Try to get out more and do something. Start a project, pick a hobby, or start working out more. When you find something on the side that you're really passionate about, you'll probably find yourself caring a lot less about things like facebook likes and instagram photos.
  • ringmybell

    Posts: 3

    Oct 21, 2014 11:43 PM GMT
    I really appreciate all your replies guys....
    I've only had this feeling of jealousy arise in these past two weeks. It'sbecause I've not been able to occupy myself with lots of stuff... As I was perfectly fine when I was working and seeing him for those two months. Nothing phased me. I wasn't jealous. I was incredibly happy. It'sthis free time that's killing me. That's what it is... Nothing else.... Too much time to myself and too much time to think... And way too much time to think about him. I love him. I really do. He's sorting out his visa and I'm supporting him with it.
    cheers for the helpful comments!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 22, 2014 8:30 PM GMT
    You sound kinda needy. How long did you know your bf before you started dating? Probably should have tested the water before doing a cannonball.

    Being jealous of bf's people skills doesn't sound healthy. Seems to me you might feel that way because you think his people skills might lead him to someone else since he's so personable. Better up your game and conquer your issues of jealousy before you find yourself single. HA!
  • being_human

    Posts: 152

    Oct 23, 2014 1:34 PM GMT
    he sounds like the perfect character for the-charming-casinova plot..
    from my experience of relationships, these anxious feelings end up saying so much later. i still maybe wrong though.
    talk about all this with him instead.
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Oct 24, 2014 8:05 AM GMT
    klobasnik saidIt sounds like you are really in love with him. First of all, if I were you I would tell him that I want more of his attention for myself, he might just not realize that he's not giving you as much of it as you'd like. But also keep in mind that he might not be able to provide it. My boyfriend is just not able to send me as much pics / videos as I'd like when we are not physically together, so I had to cope with it on my own. Secondly, sort out the visa stuff so you can be more often together.

    Oh and while physical appearance and popularity might be important to you, it doesn't mean it's how he evaluates you. (I said it because you sound unsecure about yourself when you talk about him.)


    Sounds like really in love with him?? Are you crazy. They haven't spent enough time and ring my bell is extremely immature, even for a 20 year old. That is not a boyfriend it's a penpal! Ring when you love someone you love positive qualities about them. You seem very insecure. Has he told you he has a bunch of guys like you in his stable? How old is he? You're leaving a lot out of this. Hopefully he is not using you. Under 3 months is still just dating not boyfriends.
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    Oct 25, 2014 10:43 PM GMT
    MikemikeMike said
    klobasnik saidIt sounds like you are really in love with him. First of all, if I were you I would tell him that I want more of his attention for myself, he might just not realize that he's not giving you as much of it as you'd like. But also keep in mind that he might not be able to provide it. My boyfriend is just not able to send me as much pics / videos as I'd like when we are not physically together, so I had to cope with it on my own. Secondly, sort out the visa stuff so you can be more often together.

    Oh and while physical appearance and popularity might be important to you, it doesn't mean it's how he evaluates you. (I said it because you sound unsecure about yourself when you talk about him.)


    Sounds like really in love with him?? Are you crazy. They haven't spent enough time and ring my bell is extremely immature, even for a 20 year old. That is not a boyfriend it's a penpal! Ring when you love someone you love positive qualities about them. You seem very insecure. Has he told you he has a bunch of guys like you in his stable? How old is he? You're leaving a lot out of this. Hopefully he is not using you. Under 3 months is still just dating not boyfriends.


    To fall in love happens in a split of a second.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 25, 2014 11:09 PM GMT
    In any relationship there's always one that's more out going or better looking or has more money etc it's just the way it is. No point in being jealous about it because that's just life.
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Oct 29, 2014 3:39 PM GMT
    klobasnik said
    MikemikeMike said
    klobasnik saidIt sounds like you are really in love with him. First of all, if I were you I would tell him that I want more of his attention for myself, he might just not realize that he's not giving you as much of it as you'd like. But also keep in mind that he might not be able to provide it. My boyfriend is just not able to send me as much pics / videos as I'd like when we are not physically together, so I had to cope with it on my own. Secondly, sort out the visa stuff so you can be more often together.

    Oh and while physical appearance and popularity might be important to you, it doesn't mean it's how he evaluates you. (I said it because you sound unsecure about yourself when you talk about him.)


    Sounds like really in love with him?? Are you crazy. They haven't spent enough time and ring my bell is extremely immature, even for a 20 year old. That is not a boyfriend it's a penpal! Ring when you love someone you love positive qualities about them. You seem very insecure. Has he told you he has a bunch of guys like you in his stable? How old is he? You're leaving a lot out of this. Hopefully he is not using you. Under 3 months is still just dating not boyfriends.


    To fall in love happens in a split of a second.

    In reality it is not real love. You don't know all the facets of the person and at 20 even more so, just sounds like he's got a major crush!