Is being firm & sticking to a specific type of guy you prefer Genuine or over picky

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 23, 2014 6:35 PM GMT
    Guys we all have a type that does it for us more than most or maybe any other type of guy. It's the one place a form of discrimination is expected in one form or another. But it can be limiting to be to specific & can close off a great potential partner match. What do RJ readers think when guys are very specific about the guys they will only consider, is it just showing honesty and even integrity???
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    Oct 23, 2014 6:38 PM GMT
    You are only affecting yourself so there is no "right" or "wrong" answer. If you are mainly dating online it might be worth a regular trip to the gay bar to see how strong your opinions are in "real life".
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    Oct 23, 2014 6:43 PM GMT
    Ohno saidYou are only affecting yourself so there is no "right" or "wrong" answer. If you are mainly dating online it might be worth a regular trip to the gay bar to see how strong your opinions are in "real life".


    Good points there you make online world has made it more possible. Me I don't have all that strict of a list of things so I can allow for differences I may find out are actually better than my preferences as I believe they are such as blonde hair, tall ect as I may end up liking a short black haired man more.
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    Oct 23, 2014 7:41 PM GMT
    Example of knowing what you like: "I'm attracted to taller, muscular guys"

    Example of being too picky: "I like 6'3+ black bodybuilders with thick chests, shaved and cut (8" minimum), who are well-educated and make at least $100k a year. He should be funny and interested in the same things as I am but also have different interests too. He should be a top and very oral.
  • Bowyn_Aerrow

    Posts: 357

    Oct 23, 2014 9:15 PM GMT
    Out of the 6 relationships I was in, 4 were taller and bigger than me - bearish to competition body-builder big.

    The other two were shorter and as slim as me.

    While I may "prefer" guys who are taller/stronger/bigger the reality is that my longest relationship (14 years) was with a guy who was shorter than me and nearly as slim as me.

    What ended up being more important was personalities and being able to get along with one another.

    I find that those who are picky and refuse to date out of their type end up old bitter jaded queens who are single - well aside from their house full of cats.


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    Oct 23, 2014 9:27 PM GMT
    Life2Short saidExample of knowing what you like: "I'm attracted to taller, muscular guys"


    I don't get these lines though, even if they are bit general.
    Find me anyone who says that he doesn't like a taller, muscular guy. What's the point of stating the obvious?
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    Oct 23, 2014 9:47 PM GMT
    Honestly.

    I find people like that gross. I think if you are too picky then you probably haven't really been exposed to much and as such are sub par dating material.

    Like......typically guys who are more open are that way because they've tasted more of the world, which is way more attractive than someone who gets all of their ideas about what's attractive from limited life exposure or shit they saw on TV
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    Oct 24, 2014 8:29 AM GMT
    DEKIRUMAN saidHonestly.

    I find people like that gross. I think if you are too picky then you probably haven't really been exposed to much and as such are sub par dating material.

    Like......typically guys who are more open are that way because they've tasted more of the world, which is way more attractive than someone who gets all of their ideas about what's attractive from limited life exposure or shit they saw on TV

    Yeah, that's why I would prefer guys who have spent some time abroad. People who have lived most of their life around same kind of people have way more reservations and prejudices.
    Once you live abroad in a new place with different culture and language, you appreciate small facts like not everyone speaks perfect English or stereotypes aren't the norm.
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    Oct 24, 2014 9:24 AM GMT
    I tend to like guys with dark hair and tanned/darker complexion. But the guy I'm currently with and much in love is blond with pale skin. The complete opposite of what I like but he won my heart. And that's all it took. icon_smile.gif
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    Oct 24, 2014 7:08 PM GMT
    I think it's okay to have a *specific type but however, if you like that type way too much. You're closing off other *types** options. Just date and go out with whoever you like or attracted to and don't be too close-minded.
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    Oct 24, 2014 7:11 PM GMT
    Life2Short saidExample of knowing what you like: "I'm attracted to taller, muscular guys"

    Example of being too picky: "I like 6'3+ black bodybuilders with thick chests, shaved and cut (8" minimum), who are well-educated and make at least $100k a year. He should be funny and interested in the same things as I am but also have different interests too. He should be a top and very oral.


    LOL, that sounds like requirements of a very bossy bottom. icon_lol.gif
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    Oct 24, 2014 11:03 PM GMT
    Erik101 saidI tend to like guys with dark hair and tanned/darker complexion. But the guy I'm currently with and much in love is blond with pale skin. The complete opposite of what I like but he won my heart. And that's all it took. icon_smile.gif


    here is a great example of the beauty of unexpected life! and i am so jelly
  • whytehot

    Posts: 1165

    Oct 24, 2014 11:47 PM GMT
    morphic said
    Life2Short saidExample of knowing what you like: "I'm attracted to taller, muscular guys"


    I don't get these lines though, even if they are bit general.
    Find me anyone who says that he doesn't like a taller, muscular guy. What's the point of stating the obvious?


    Tops, and bottoms who don't think like women.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Oct 25, 2014 1:57 AM GMT
    Hm well speaking for myself, I don't have a set specific type of guy I like. I may be partial to dark hair but I think lighter hair looks great too. Eye color is not a big deal either. Neither is his race. So for the most part, I feel I don't have a set specific in terms of all around traits as I find somethng attractive in all.

    However... The only thing I realized I wasn't really into was overweight/fat. As much as it pains me to say, I just can't get physically attracted. The first guy I ever had light play with (I say light because we didn't do much) was overweight and I was very turned off physically by his huge belly... I know it sounds shallow but I have to be honest. After that experience, I did try again with another bigger fellow and the same result happened. It was then that I knew I just was not attracted to that trait... icon_neutral.gif So for that reason, I wouldn't want to get into a deep relationship with an overweight guy because I wouldn't want to put him in that awful situation of not having 100% of attraction. He would deserve someone who wanted all of him and it's nice because there are lots of guys who would be into them over any other type.

    But yeah, other than that, I never really thought about this particular topic because I'm already pretty open to all sorts of colors and races and styles.
  • Daniepwils

    Posts: 151

    Oct 29, 2014 3:18 PM GMT
    Everyone with their "guidelines"... I will just say this, your taste will always change the older you get. Don't base everything on looks and jobs alone. Yes looks are important but how does he treat you, how does he make you feel? - As you get older that comes in to play so much more in my opinion.

    I will say this. As I have been dating and become older I am much more open than what I used to be. I only dated drop dead, head turning gorgeous guys. The problem is they aren't always the ones you will fall in love with. Yes they are good to look at and good in bed, but I just never fell for them. Love is a funny thing, and you can't always help who you fall in love with.
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    Oct 29, 2014 5:03 PM GMT
    date all the men you can. being serious about a guy is different:

    look for someone who completes a household you both could live in, maybe enough bandwidth for a cat or a children. What do you bring to the table that he is lacking? Easy to figure he should share all of your desires and aspirations and this is a good starting point. More difficult that you tolerate all of his too.

    straight relationships, the other 95%, couples are very different from each other.

    cant love all of gods creations; so hope you have a list of some must have things.
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    Oct 29, 2014 10:25 PM GMT
    Life2Short saidExample of knowing what you like: "I'm attracted to taller, muscular guys"

    Example of being too picky: "I like 6'3+ black bodybuilders with thick chests, shaved and cut (8" minimum), who are well-educated and make at least $100k a year. He should be funny and interested in the same things as I am but also have different interests too. He should be a top and very oral.


    That sounds EXACTLY like the kind of guys I'm into. Except the black part....not into that sawwy...icon_smile.gif
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    Oct 30, 2014 8:34 AM GMT
    jmusmc85 said
    Life2Short saidExample of knowing what you like: "I'm attracted to taller, muscular guys"

    Example of being too picky: "I like 6'3+ black bodybuilders with thick chests, shaved and cut (8" minimum), who are well-educated and make at least $100k a year. He should be funny and interested in the same things as I am but also have different interests too. He should be a top and very oral.


    That sounds EXACTLY like the kind of guys I'm into. Except the black part....not into that sawwy...icon_smile.gif


    I always found the ones who make lots of money have small penises. Maybe it provides the adversity they need in order to be so driven. I think there should be a film about this topic, maybe starring Ben Affleck.
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    Oct 30, 2014 10:14 AM GMT
    Erik101 saidI tend to like guys with dark hair and tanned/darker complexion. But the guy I'm currently with and much in love is blond with pale skin. The complete opposite of what I like but he won my heart. And that's all it took. icon_smile.gif

    I think that's the key right here. It's good to know what you're attracted to, but it's not in your best interest to limit yourself to only that 'type'.

    People usually have a 'type' based off a mental construct - the first guy you were with, the first guy on tv that made you realize you like guys, daddy, friend you always wanted but never got, etc.
    I'm not saying that the attraction to a 'type' isn't valid, but you're more apt to find real love if you keep your 'real world' options open.