Finding a nice boy in NYC

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 23, 2014 9:43 PM GMT
    Lately I've been trying to date.

    Primarily I have used tinder for this......because I don't really know what else to do. I've met some pretty nice guys on Grindr though.

    I'm really interested in someone who likes being with me not just sexually but in other senses as well. I want someone who enjoys my company and just wants to chill with me. The hard part about this is I tend to connect sexually with guys who are under 21 but intellectually with guys who are 30+

    I'm really very childish and sometimes I like to be immature (not in terms of how i treat people, just my sense of humor etc.) In the company of older guys I really miss that. But young guys can be frustrating and less understanding of my needs and my goals and how they intersect with the relationship.

    I'm also slightly insecure about my looks and prone to over-thinking. I feel like I have a lot to offer in terms of my personality but since I'm not super attractive I don't really know whether or not I'll be able to hold the attention of a guy in the long term. I think the problem is that I will work my ass off to be number one, but looks aren't really something I can control, so I feel kind of claustrophobic in that sense.

    Idk. I'm having a very bad day and dating seems very hopeless to me right now.

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    Oct 23, 2014 9:47 PM GMT
    What happened to make you think dating is hopeless?
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    Oct 23, 2014 9:49 PM GMT
    Bro your handsome have no fear !
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Oct 23, 2014 9:56 PM GMT
    You're just making the transition from kid to adult. Don't get frustrated or down on yourself because you're not completely comfortable in either camp. The place you want to end up is as an adult with the occasional need to run crazy like a child. Give it time and be aware that there are other guys out there in exactly the same boat. Look for friends first. And sex when you want sex. It is the rare thing for a 23 year old to find his perfect match so soon. Because you haven't settled into your adult self and are still changing. Even if you found him chances are you'd both be different people in three years.
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    Oct 23, 2014 10:04 PM GMT
    I've been told by quite a few people that dating in NYC is hard because the gay pool is just so large. No one really wants to commit and they are always on the lookout for something better.
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    Oct 23, 2014 10:24 PM GMT
    S34n05 saidI've been told by quite a few people that dating in NYC is hard because the gay pool is just so large. No one really wants to commit and they are always on the lookout for something better.


    Actually, it is very easy to date in NYC. All One has to do is go out after dark.

    It takes about 8 minutes

    The bedroom eyes the raised eyebrows the drinks sent over


    You are kinda sorta half correct.

    The dating pool is enormous here

    As Men We are visual creatures

    Problem is there is ALWAYS someone better looking

    And trust Me on THIS;

    There is AlWAYS some one richer, with a bigger car, a better weekend house, fancier friends, better connections and most likely, a bigger Penis.

    But what We as MEN need to do is make a commitment to Our Hearts instead of Our Dicks or what what We want other people to be impressed by.

    We're better than that

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    Oct 24, 2014 12:34 AM GMT
    tmac saidWhat happened to make you think dating is hopeless?


    All these columbia students hurting my feelings n stuff. icon_cry.gif
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    Oct 24, 2014 12:51 AM GMT
    DEKIRUMAN said
    tmac saidWhat happened to make you think dating is hopeless?


    All these columbia students hurting my feelings n stuff. icon_cry.gif


    I highly recommend deleting all your apps. Waste of time in my opinion lol. The only website i'd recommend is meetup.com because its based on joining groups and going to events to meet people in person. I'm sure going to LGBT based groups will give you better options.

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    Oct 24, 2014 8:26 AM GMT
    pazzy said
    S34n05 saidI've been told by quite a few people that dating in NYC is hard because the gay pool is just so large. No one really wants to commit and they are always on the lookout for something better.


    heard the same shit too from other people.

    it's crazy because i've seen and heard a lot of guys in nyc say how hard it is to find a date or a boyfriend period. also heard that it's real easy to get laid over there though where folks don't even need grindr. even weirder, it seems like guys in jersey have more success in terms of dating within their state compared to over there in new york. it's a huge wtf.

    It's the same thing in every major big gay city around the world whether it's Madrid, Amsterdam, Berlin etc.