I Deleted All My "Buddies"...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 16, 2009 7:03 AM GMT
    .....and my Hotlist too.

    After being on this site for over 3 years, and meeting some pretty great people (or so I thought) I've decided to forego the whole Buddy and Hotlist.

    What's the point??

    Whenever I log on, I immediately check to see which of my buddies are on, so I might have someone to chat with. I soon noticed I was ALWAYS the one to start the chats, and make the effort. So I decided to check out some homepages. It turns out I'm not listed as a "buddy" on a single one of my "buddies" pages. Some of them have just a few buddies listed, some have TONS of buddies listed.

    Am I not worth the effort?

    Do I have a 3rd eye or something??

    I've even met a few of them in person when I've travelled to their cities, just to say hi and be a friend. All seemed well....I thought.

    Am I not worthy of being called "friend"?

    All of my real-life friends enjoy my company, and we have lots of fun together. I'll just stick to them I guess.

    Thank you for listening.

    This rant has been brought to you today by the letter Q.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 16, 2009 8:02 AM GMT
    Internet drama. It happens everywhere.

    On another site, I added a few guys to my hot list or whatever. They reciprocate. Then a couple months go by and they remove me from their list, hoping I wouldn't notice. Lame.

    I take it all with a grain of salt. It's only the internet. It's not real life. I think most guys join sites like this to seek some validation. And some guys actually want to connect with others. And the remaining guys just come here to look at pics to jack off to. icon_lol.gif

    But really, I think it needs to be said that there's a difference between internet friends and real life friends. Your real life friends are actually your friends. Your internet friends are just screen names you chat with when you're bored. I know that might sound shitty to some people. But it's true. Real friendship is created through life experiences, not through chat windows.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 16, 2009 3:13 PM GMT
    awww.... I do know what you mean though. Here let us be friends ^_^
  • MuslDrew

    Posts: 463

    Jan 16, 2009 3:41 PM GMT
    Hhmm...
    You're handsome, successful & living in southern CA.
    It's difficult for me to drum up much sympathy for you.
    But if it will cheer you up, I'll gladly marry your ass.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 16, 2009 3:43 PM GMT
    MuslDrew saidHhmm...
    You're handsome, successful & living in southern CA.
    It's difficult for me to drum up much sympathy for you.
    But if it will cheer you up, I'll gladly marry your ass.


    icon_surprised.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 16, 2009 3:48 PM GMT
    Sorry, man, I do not get this. Why did you have to check all those buddies pages. You can tell who is a mutual buddy by just looking at your own profile. No one will appear on your mutual buddy list without them having made you a buddy.

    Anyway, if you had no one on your mutual buddy list then that is life on the net I guess. I would say that about a third of the guys on my buddylist have never made it mutual. This could be for a lot of reasons. Maybe they received the buddy email sent out by the administration and then it got lost amoung a hundred emails and they later just deleted it or did not remember or maybe they do not understand that they can reciprocate. A few guys from outside the US on my buddy list are like this but I do not let it be a sweat for me. These same guys still answer my emails so I still consider them friends and occasionally IM me. It is not like I need to have a bunch of guys on the mutual list, it is just an RJ thing.
  • swimbikerun

    Posts: 2835

    Jan 16, 2009 4:11 PM GMT
    MuslDrew saidHhmm...
    You're handsome, successful & living in southern CA.
    It's difficult for me to drum up much sympathy for you.
    But if it will cheer you up, I'll gladly marry your ass.
    LOL! Mighty Q gawt p'owned!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 16, 2009 4:24 PM GMT
    Yeah I know what you mean. I have thought about deleting my hotlist.

    But then I think why. They put there pics up for people to see and I hot list them to help get motivated.

    So thanks to all you guys that have motivated me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 16, 2009 4:27 PM GMT
    I'm stalking this guy and I deleted a bunch of guys from my hotlist so that I and everybody else who visits my page will see him displayed in my hotlist.icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 16, 2009 4:29 PM GMT
    u can't be serious. the online commitments are for the birds....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 16, 2009 4:41 PM GMT
    I tend to only buddylist someone when they buddylist me and we chat. Their are several guys that I chat with regularly who aren't on my buddy list and it has little to do with the frequency of conversations, or how much I may value their conversations with me.
    I hardly ever use my hotlist anymore. If I thought someone was hot and I liked their profile, I'll tell them. It doesn't really go beyond that unless an interesting conversation develops and I've had some really incredible, thought provoking, fun, educational, and humbling chats here. I don't think anything less of someone whether they have no one on their hotlist or they have 864 guys on it.

    Besides, "Your hot!" in itself isn't a really good conversation starter.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 16, 2009 4:43 PM GMT
    bgcat57 said Besides, "Your hot!" in itself isn't a really good conversation starter.

    Your hawt!!

    Better?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 16, 2009 5:01 PM GMT
    I'm melting in my shoes!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 16, 2009 5:12 PM GMT
    Sounds like you're a victim of bad engineering!

    Realjock has a quirk with the way the buddy list works: you can add someone to your buddy list, but it doesn't require the other person adds you to theirs. Compared to other social networking sites, this is kinda goofy because if you add someone to your friends list, you automatically show up on theirs.

    Realjock also isn't the most user-friendly environment: you have to go through each profile on your buddy or hot list to see who's online, which further defeats any chances of setting up a connection.

    Take it with a grain of salt. It's not that no one likes you, it's that the site wasn't designed with this kind of higher-functionality in mind.

    Give yourself a pat on the back for going the extra mile and overcoming the obstacles. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 16, 2009 5:20 PM GMT
    I've deleted everyone off my hotlist, as I was thinking "Why do I have these here? There are lots of hot guys all over the place on RJ?"

    I do buddy list guys when I've had a good interaction with them. Most have recipricated, some haven't. Some I haven't talked with in a while, and I should either take them off or redo contact.

    Whatever, it's not real life unless I bridge that gap outside of online and invite them to other aspects of my world.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 16, 2009 5:44 PM GMT
    flex89 said
    Realjock also isn't the most user-friendly environment: you have to go through each profile on your buddy or hot list to see who's online, which further defeats any chances of setting up a connection.>


    Not sure if I got this right, but in case you meant you have to go to each persons profile to see if they are online, that is not the case. On the main page on the upper left there are several options for searching. If you check the box, guys on my buddy list, then you will get all your buddies on one page if you choose the option 50, unless, of course, you have more than 50 buddies. Then you can scroll down very rapidly and see all the buddies that are online as that is listed to the right of each picture.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Jan 16, 2009 6:21 PM GMT
    mybuddy.jpg

    he's very disappointed

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 16, 2009 11:04 PM GMT
    LOL, wow, some very funny responses there!

    Though I wasn't looking for advice or a pity party, thanks guys.

    I just wanted to vent a little. I just get tired of always being the one that puts forth the effort.

    I know the internet is what it is, though at first, I found RJ guys were much friendlier and more down-to-Earth than most other sites. Maybe because it's not really a hook-up kinda site. But, as always, internet "friends" are shaky at best.

    So, I'll continue to chat as usual. I just have to remind myself not to get suckered in so easily.icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 17, 2009 1:04 AM GMT
    Bunny sad







    Humorous Pictures
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 17, 2009 1:44 AM GMT
    Timberoo saidmybuddy.jpg

    he's very disappointed



    lol... Now I am going to have that song stuck in my head. Thanks a lot.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 17, 2009 1:48 AM GMT
    mnjock2003 said
    Timberoo saidmybuddy.jpg

    he's very disappointed



    lol... Now I am going to have that song stuck in my head. Thanks a lot.


    You mean this song?

    "My Buddy...
    My Buddy...
    My Buddy and me like to climb up a tree...
    My Buddy and me are the best friends we can be!"

    LOL, me too.icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 17, 2009 2:43 AM GMT
    I wouldn't take the lists too seriously.

    I personally think they are more a need for public validation than anything else. Also, I don't know if I want people to know with whom I'm associating .

    My online friends seem to be secure enough with our friendships, not to require this "high school popularity contest".

    Just my two cents.icon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 21, 2009 5:27 AM GMT
    I so wanted to reply to this thread as I was still in the RJ closet. Anyway, here's my two fils' worth: Just remember one basic thing in online social nextworking --that their page is their own thus making them free to do what they want to do with it.
    On Facebook for example, I get friends request and confirm them. If one day I am unable to access their page ('cos they decided to delete me without notice *as that how it works*), that's fine with me. I know it's much more awkward if these were actualy people you see in person, but wtf! Nothing online should be taken so seriously.
    You are more than your online persona.
    So repeat after me:
    I am more than my online persona.
    I am more than my online persona.
    I am fabulous online and offline.
    I am fabulous online and offline.
    I will not be deleted from Facebook by its admin.
    I will not be deleted from Facebook by its admin.


    Or that's just me on the last two lines. icon_redface.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 21, 2009 5:36 AM GMT
    Mighty-Q,

    Online can be fun and instantly gratifying, but all too often in the end you'll feel like you're at a Circuit Party: no one is really worth talking to and it's just one big joke.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 21, 2009 5:59 AM GMT
    jakebenson saidMighty-Q,

    Online can be fun and instantly gratifying, but all too often in the end you'll feel like you're at a Circuit Party: no one is really worth talking to and it's just one big joke.


    I don't know if I'd agree with your last statement, Jake. I've actually made some really good friends because of RJ. The guy I'm seeing right now I met through RJ. We've been seeing each other for 8 months now and our relationship continues to grow. "...just one big joke."? Not in my case.

    I've just been selective in who I really want to get to know is all. I don't treat it like a Circuit Party, trying to hook up at every turn. Certainly there are lots of guys on RJ and other sites who are hot as hell, and I can't say I haven't fantasized about a few of them. Who hasn't? But if I'm going to open a conversation with a person, it's usually because I see something on their profile that I connect with. I'm not going into it expecting anything out of it other than conversation. If the conversation keeps going, all the better. If it doesn't, nothing lost really. It's not personal.

    But to say no one is really worth talking to is a pretty negative perspective. I'm going to assume you're being sarcastic and not serious. If you were being serious, I hate if for you man.

    Q, for me, I don't buddy list anyone until we've been chatting or e-mailing for a while. How could they be a "buddy" if I haven't gotten to know them? I hot list guys all the time. If their hot, why not? It doesn't cost anything. It's my way of sending a guy a compliment. That's it. Nothing else is expected.