I'm so confused, I don't know what I want....

  • fLiP21

    Posts: 48

    Oct 28, 2014 1:15 AM GMT
    Hey you guys. For those who remember me and my situation from this year and last year as well, I finally parted ways with the guy I was seeing, Jeff, a few months ago. Anyways, he was my first in pretty much everything, and so I've finally felt good enough to start seeing people again recently.

    The thing is now, I don't know exactly what I want and it's kind of killing me. I've been seeing a new guy named George and we already established ourselves as fwb. Sometimes I feel a little emotionally attached, but I believe I am just infatuated for the most part. Part of me just also wants to be in a relationship. I feel like I have no understanding of how relationships should be though... Part in being that I am still partially in the closet and have no role model exactly on dating.

    It's just all too confusing. I know I'm still in college, but one night stands and even fwb are starting to wear me out. The sex is great, but then that's where it stops. Any advice? Keep being fwb? Actually start dating?

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    Oct 28, 2014 1:32 AM GMT
    I understand how this works completely! As I am partially in the closet as well. But I feel like you should honestly ask George, "Do feel anything emotionally invested in what we have?" And if he responds no then you have to make the decision wether you want to continuing to be fwb, which I wouldn't recommend, or look for someone who really is interested in you not sex. Because sex is just satisfying you physically, which is important. But emotional connection is so much more important for the body, as for I relationships (romantic or friends) help with my panic attacks. If George says yes than definitely pursue the romantic connection and see where it leads you. You have already established being comfortable around each other, which is half the journey! And if he only seems interested in your body after a while, then you know it's time to move on to someone who appreciates you for your wonderful personality.
    I hope this helpedicon_smile.gif
  • tj85016

    Posts: 4123

    Oct 28, 2014 1:50 AM GMT
    does your school offer counselling?
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    Oct 28, 2014 2:15 AM GMT
    You're very young so it's to be expected that you don't know much about relationships and life yet ... very normal.

    Maybe you're putting too much pressure on yourself to develop a deeper emotional connection that you really want or can handle at this time. Sounds like you have a lot going on. I would just enjoy things as they come with this guy (no pun intended) and make sure that your life is balanced with exercise, nonsexual friendships, family connections, and enriching activities.

    You have many, many years ahead to be more serious and directed about relationships.
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    Oct 28, 2014 8:27 AM GMT
    Why don't you try just making friends first and keeping them as friends instead of complicating so soon by turning it into something sexual.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 4063

    Oct 28, 2014 10:56 PM GMT
    dont worry about being in a relationship til you are 30
    fuck everything that moves.
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    Oct 28, 2014 11:26 PM GMT
    What do your straight friends tell you?

    Is this even a reality for them?