Guys who keep lying about their age...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 31, 2014 8:42 AM GMT
    Why? I'm not going to think anything of you for being one year over 40 for example, but anyone that lies goes straight down in my estimation.

    It seems guys always ruin it just as we're getting to know each other. The worst one was back in winter. He told me online he was about late 40s. Met up on the day and he was nearer mid 60s icon_neutral.gif

    Can you forgive someone for lying about their age?
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    Oct 31, 2014 9:03 AM GMT
    Some guys lie because they don't want to be excluded from some young stud's profile search query. Apparently there's some silly formula that determines what is considered an acceptable age range to date.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 31, 2014 9:16 AM GMT
    I think people should never lie about their ages nor about who they are.
    At the end the truth is always meant to be revealed
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    Oct 31, 2014 9:31 AM GMT
    calime61 saidI think people should never lie about their ages nor about who they are.
    At the end the truth is always meant to be revealed


    Definitely. I find myself looking on Scruff and most of the other 34 year olds look absolutely ancient compared to me and my friends. I usually disregard people below 30 but some of them may in truth be older than me! Not that it matters because if they are lying I am not interested anyway.
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    Oct 31, 2014 9:45 AM GMT
    I got totally catfished by a guy on match who told me he was 36... Turns out he was 63, and all his pix were stolen.

    Had no tolerance... Caused a bit of a scene and left.
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    Oct 31, 2014 9:49 AM GMT
    JonSpringon saidI got totally catfished by a guy on match who told me he was 36... Turns out he was 63, and all his pix were stolen.

    Had no tolerance... Caused a bit of a scene and left.

    sorry, but I find this funny icon_lol.gif
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    Oct 31, 2014 10:08 AM GMT
    JonSpringon saidI got totally catfished by a guy on match who told me he was 36... Turns out he was 63, and all his pix were stolen.

    Had no tolerance... Caused a bit of a scene and left.

    That's why i make sure to videochat at least for once before meeting a guy.
    So many catfish out there.
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    Oct 31, 2014 10:49 AM GMT
    JonSpringon saidI got totally catfished by a guy on match who told me he was 36... Turns out he was 63, and all his pix were stolen.

    Had no tolerance... Caused a bit of a scene and left.


    Omg, I would have turned round and gone straight home icon_neutral.gif
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    Oct 31, 2014 10:54 AM GMT
    Jms31 said
    JonSpringon saidI got totally catfished by a guy on match who told me he was 36... Turns out he was 63, and all his pix were stolen.

    Had no tolerance... Caused a bit of a scene and left.


    Omg, I would have turned round and gone straight home icon_neutral.gif

    Nah... dude needed to be knocked down a peg.. "I lied about my age, pictures, name and job... but everything else was the truth!!" Little bit of a scene in the coffee shop... and made him pay for the coffee. icon_lol.gif
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    Oct 31, 2014 1:54 PM GMT
    What on earth is the point? Like it won't be obvious when you show up, after you said you're mid-30s and you're really mid-60s? SMH
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    Oct 31, 2014 2:03 PM GMT
    It's really a sad statement on how ageism makes some gay men insecure. Sadly there is a reality to it. The difference between 39 and 40 is only one year, but for some men, when they see the "4" instead of a "3" as the first number, it might as well be a 50-year difference. Suddenly, they're seen as old (or at least significantly older). Unless you're buff, rich, or hung (or a possible combination of these), you're often invisible to the young 'uns -- not that you're necessarily interested in them, but you can sometimes be treated like there is something wrong with you...just because you're not "young".

    I have a friend who lies about his age (he's 48, he usually shaves 10-13 years off). Now he has had some work done (good work too, and there is nothing wrong with that), and he does look younger than his age, but he's still is almost 50. AND he likes to chase twinks (his words, not mine) -- not for a serious relationship, but for "fun" (he's not interested in a serious relationship since his divorce -- yay gay marriage -- and thinks that guys his age have "too much drama"). He doesn't really fit in to either of the three aforementioned buff, rich or hung categories, and at some point he's just going to look ridiculous chasing after young guys and lying to them. I think he MIGHT be have had a bit of an epiphany last time he went out ("I felt like everyone's dad!") so hopefully he will come around and find someone who will accept him for his actual age.

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    Oct 31, 2014 2:18 PM GMT
    xanadude saidIt's really a sad statement on how ageism makes some gay men insecure. Sadly there is a reality to it. The difference between 39 and 40 is only one year, but for some men, when they see the "4" instead of a "3" as the first number, it might as well be a 50-year difference. Suddenly, they're seen as old (or at least significantly older). Unless you're buff, rich, or hung (or a possible combination of these), you're often invisible to the young 'uns -- not that you're necessarily interested in them, but you can sometimes be treated like there is something wrong with you...just because you're not "young".


    It's just not ageism. There are way too many parameters which make any gay men insecure. It could be anything from race, body type, masculinity or looks.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 31, 2014 3:18 PM GMT
    JonSpringon saidI got totally catfished by a guy on match who told me he was 36... Turns out he was 63, and all his pix were stolen.

    Had no tolerance... Caused a bit of a scene and left.



    lol I bet you've catfished a bunch with your fake pics. icon_lol.gif
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Oct 31, 2014 4:18 PM GMT
    It wouldn't bother me if he looks the age he says he is. People have their insecurities. Doesn't make them bad people. Too many guys are too smug about their own superiority and just love to create lists of things they just can't stand about other guys. That's pretty shallow.
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    Oct 31, 2014 4:25 PM GMT
    When you start lying , you can never go back , and then it becomes a hassle ..
    Don't lie , be happy with who you are .icon_smile.gif

    That said , i am a laid back kind or bloke , so i will forgive someone for lying about his/her age .
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    Oct 31, 2014 4:38 PM GMT
    Sharkspeare saidWhat on earth is the point? Like it won't be obvious when you show up, after you said you're mid-30s and you're really mid-60s? SMH

    Same with weight and other vitals, that don't pass the vusual test. Liars will usually just make it worse for themselves.

    BTW, I must say every one of the dozens of guys I've met in person from RJ has been totally true to his profile stats & pics, yourself included (you really are the spitting image of Eleanor Roosevelt). I can spot guys across the room I've never met before as being an RJer because of his profile pic, or a pic he sent me privately in planning to meet.

    Of course we've been guys just intending to mostly meet socially, not for a date. I suppose guys who use RJ strictly for hook-ups might do differently. Nevertheless, I've only met honest guys here. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 31, 2014 4:45 PM GMT
    A few years ago I met a guy once who told me he was 35. After we hooked up he told me was really 42. I didn't mind because he looked <35. So much so I hooked up with him again a couple days later!
  • ATLANTIS7

    Posts: 1213

    Oct 31, 2014 5:23 PM GMT
    I never lie about my age I am just bad at Maths?
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    Oct 31, 2014 5:49 PM GMT
    The gay scene is ageist as fuck.

    Course guys are gonna lie (especially when gay men tend to be more 'preserved' and look great in their 40+'s) !

    If your over 30 your already over the hill with the younger guys and the old ones are out there chasing after chickens.
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    Oct 31, 2014 5:53 PM GMT
    That's kind of a naive question.
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    Oct 31, 2014 5:59 PM GMT
    I always lie about my age. On hook up apps (and even here) I say I'm ridiculously older than what I am. Then when a guy contacts me (obviously attracted by the profile pick :lolicon_smile.gif and inquires about my real age I tell them the truth and tell them I completely understand if they have a problem with it. Most do not have a problem but a few will block me post haste. My ego isn't shattered because the ones that block me are usually so young we would have so very little in common anyway and there are always two or three others willing to take their place. I'm surprised at the number of daddy chasers there are out there.

    Oh, and I have never had someone have an issue with my "lying" using an older age.
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    Oct 31, 2014 6:04 PM GMT
    pazzy said
    __morphic__ said
    It's just not ageism. There are way too many parameters which make any gay men insecure. It could be anything from race, body type, masculinity or looks.


    folks be getting insecure over the dumbest shit too. icon_lol.gif "he likes wearing bowties so i'm not going to talk to him". how you gonna reject a guy because he likes wearing bowties?


    Because my uncle who molested me when I was a kid always wore a bow tie.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 31, 2014 6:26 PM GMT
    I've told this story here before, but some members are new. I brought a bar pick-up home, who volunteered that he was 42 (I hadn't asked), which seemed totally believeable. I was 55, which I also told him.

    We had a great time in bed, and I was really interested in this guy, wanted to stay in touch with him. As we finally went to sleep I was thinking: "I wish he was closer to my own age, he's great otherwise", because I've had more success with guys closer in age to me. For one thing they tend not to run off with guys their own younger age, and for another I have more in common with older guys.

    Next morning as we're waking up he nudged me and said he had a confession to make. "Oh, gawd." I'm thinking, "He's got some contagious disease!" icon_eek.gif

    No, his confession was that he wasn't 42, but 52. He could have passed for 42, I didn't suspect him. I mean, not in the greatest shape for 42, his face a bit old, but certainly within the range I've seen. Though his body, especially his naked back when he lay on his stomach in bed, could have belonged to a 20-something, sculpted & flawless.

    And I started to cry into my pillow. Which made him distraught! He kept apologizing for lying to me and upsetting me. I finally was able to tell him that I was crying for happiness, my wish fulfilled from the night before. I went to sleep wishing he was in his 50s, and when I woke up the next morning he was! What a miracle that seemed to me!

    But he couldn't believe that, a gay man being happy someone was older than he had said. I had to keep reassuring him I was serious. We began an LTR that very day. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Oct 31, 2014 7:01 PM GMT
    xanadude saidIt's really a sad statement on how ageism makes some gay men insecure. Sadly there is a reality to it. The difference between 39 and 40 is only one year, but for some men, when they see the "4" instead of a "3" as the first number, it might as well be a 50-year difference. Suddenly, they're seen as old (or at least significantly older). Unless you're buff, rich, or hung (or a possible combination of these), you're often invisible to the young 'uns -- not that you're necessarily interested in them, but you can sometimes be treated like there is something wrong with you...just because you're not "young".

    I have a friend who lies about his age (he's 48, he usually shaves 10-13 years off). Now he has had some work done (good work too, and there is nothing wrong with that), and he does look younger than his age, but he's still is almost 50. AND he likes to chase twinks (his words, not mine) -- not for a serious relationship, but for "fun" (he's not interested in a serious relationship since his divorce -- yay gay marriage -- and thinks that guys his age have "too much drama"). He doesn't really fit in to either of the three aforementioned buff, rich or hung categories, and at some point he's just going to look ridiculous chasing after young guys and lying to them. I think he MIGHT be have had a bit of an epiphany last time he went out ("I felt like everyone's dad!") so hopefully he will come around and find someone who will accept him for his actual age.

    Someday, he will just hire twinks. If he were rich, he could get them to pretend that they loved him.
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    Oct 31, 2014 7:08 PM GMT
    xanadude saidIt's really a sad statement on how ageism makes some gay men insecure. Sadly there is a reality to it. The difference between 39 and 40 is only one year, but for some men, when they see the "4" instead of a "3" as the first number, it might as well be a 50-year difference. Suddenly, they're seen as old (or at least significantly older). Unless you're buff, rich, or hung (or a possible combination of these), you're often invisible to the young 'uns -- not that you're necessarily interested in them, but you can sometimes be treated like there is something wrong with you...just because you're not "young".

    I have a friend who lies about his age (he's 48, he usually shaves 10-13 years off). Now he has had some work done (good work too, and there is nothing wrong with that), and he does look younger than his age, but he's still is almost 50. AND he likes to chase twinks (his words, not mine) -- not for a serious relationship, but for "fun" (he's not interested in a serious relationship since his divorce -- yay gay marriage -- and thinks that guys his age have "too much drama"). He doesn't really fit in to either of the three aforementioned buff, rich or hung categories, and at some point he's just going to look ridiculous chasing after young guys and lying to them. I think he MIGHT be have had a bit of an epiphany last time he went out ("I felt like everyone's dad!") so hopefully he will come around and find someone who will accept him for his actual age.



    I did not become active in RJ forums until I was over 40.

    For reasons Medical Science still can not really explain, I tend to get a fair amount of attention.

    I had this age discussion a few years back with another RJ member.

    As an experiment I went to My profile page and lopped 10 years off of My age, putting Me at the time somewhere in My early 30's.

    For the next week I received ZERO e-mails from new Guys and not one single hotlisting.

    At the end of the week I went back into My real age of 40 something-at-the-time.

    Within an hour or two everything was back to normal.

    Go figure...

    I am now considering saying I am 74 and getting REALLY popular!!!