Markz0ne45 saidI figured this would have ended last year, but it didn't. I'm not happy about the fact I committed to my homosexual desires and what's done is done. Nothing to do with religion or some political thing. It's me. I am conflicted with what love is. I love my male friends, often wondered about being with them. But I have that with females, but it seems my sexual fixation is on men. I just feel what I am doing is wrong. I think it's wrong that LGBT is bias with itself and uses the conjecture of societal brainwashing without consent from the person.
I was confused & conflicted for about the first hour or so, following my shattering realization that I'm gay, when I first came out to myself.
But then I thought to myself:
1) I'm still a good guy. I woke up this morning the same good guy I've always been. This doesn't change that at all. It just redefines me.
2) This answers all the questions I've had about myself, for all my adult life. Now things finally make sense. I hate uncertainness. I prefer to know the truth, whatever it is. The truth is I'm gay, and that explains things for me, something I've been hiding from myself. That's GOOD. Because ignoring & denying it didn't make it go away, it just delayed it.
And I took it further. I KNOW I'm a good guy. Not perfect, but not evil, either. So that if I'm gay, all these terrible things being preached by others about gays may be wrong. They're certainly wrong about ME. So why not about others? All these awful things I'd been told about gays all my life could be untrue.
Today I'm happy & proud to be living gay. In a largely gay community that's nicer than anything I've ever previously experienced in my life. I believe we're happiest when we live the way we were born. Straight if you're straight, gay if you're gay. The problem comes when we try to live something we're not, as I did.
Like it or not, you are what you are. You're better off learning to like it, than fighting it. Cause it ain't gonna change. And frankly, accepting & liking it will make you happier in the long run, because that's how you were built.