Gay Co-worker

  • justjosh

    Posts: 8

    Nov 05, 2014 4:27 AM GMT
    QUOTE AUTHOR GOES HEREQUOTE GOES HERE


    I've struck up a friendship with a co-worker. I'm pretty sure he's gay (almost positive), but I doubt he knows that I know. He's been keen on meeting me outside of work - we've met for dinner. Is he coming on to me? Is it a good idea to give in and see where this goes? We are equal when it comes to our jobs.
  • Kovyn

    Posts: 117

    Nov 05, 2014 4:40 AM GMT
    Do you realize how little information you just gave us?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 05, 2014 4:48 AM GMT
    Yah, too little info to conclude and assume things.

    Beware of work romance too. If it goes wrong, it can make it really awkward for you. If you love your job, you will need to be really careful.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Nov 05, 2014 4:54 AM GMT
    He knows your gay!

    or

    He knows your gay?
  • muscleboundfe...

    Posts: 392

    Nov 05, 2014 5:07 AM GMT
    i'm firmly against dating people you work with (department wise).
  • Bowyn_Aerrow

    Posts: 357

    Nov 05, 2014 5:13 AM GMT
    justjosh said
    QUOTE AUTHOR GOES HEREQUOTE GOES HERE


    I've struck up a friendship with a co-worker. I'm pretty sure he's gay (almost positive), but I doubt he knows that I know. He's been keen on meeting me outside of work - we've met for dinner. Is he coming on to me? Is it a good idea to give in and see where this goes? We are equal when it comes to our jobs.


    Never assume that a friendly guy is gay or wants in your pants/bed whatever.

    The first thing you need to evaluate is how being outted at work will go over. If this is a no go situation, then you are going to have to seriously get to know this guy's political views on such topics as Apple's New CEO coming out, Or Russia's taking down the Apple Statue, or the impending new gay marriage in X state.

    All of these are semi-neutral topics which shouldn't arose too much suspicion since they are currently in the news.

    Once establishing if he has a tolerant or intolerant view on LGBT issues you can proceed from there. Asking him about his 'ethics' on outing gay people at work helps, if he tells you such is deplorable, unacceptable or something like that then consider yourself safe to come out to him.

    Its still a 'bad idear' to ask a guy if they are gay. The habit of haters is to get a guy to admit they are gay then proceed to bash. So even under the best of circumstances its best to not ask, but to inform of your stance and let them decide when (if) they want to come out.

    I would also suggest to strive for a friendship over a relationship/dating/FWB type thing.

    I have mixed feelings on dating a person from work. my first lover and I met and worked together for over 2 years as friends first, then as live in lovers. mind the circumstance wasn't complicated by job competition nor a need to hide ourselves as we were, often the only two people on the job site the hours we worked.

    So depending on your situation if anything comes out of this it may not have that big of an impact on your job.

    Good luck.
  • justjosh

    Posts: 8

    Nov 05, 2014 6:26 PM GMT
    Thanks for the helpful information. We are in sales and travel frequently, so there's no office that we go to. We are in the same town fairly regularly. But he seems to single me out to meet. He doesnt look or act gay (I know, I know), but his Facebook page clearly shows he's hanging with gay guys. I'll tread lightly. The last thing I want is to get outed, fired, or lose a friend. Thanks again.
  • justjosh

    Posts: 8

    Nov 05, 2014 6:28 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidHe knows your gay!

    or

    He knows your gay?


    I doubt it. I'm not out to any other co-worker; not out at all. So, not sure why he might suspect.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 05, 2014 6:34 PM GMT
    justjosh said
    AMoonHawk saidHe knows your gay!

    or

    He knows your gay?


    I doubt it. I'm not out to any other co-worker; not out at all. So, not sure why he might suspect.

    tumblr_myxoaoDR5s1qbgirco1_250.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 05, 2014 8:51 PM GMT
    Seriously, you're 46 and you need to ask us this?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 06, 2014 4:23 AM GMT
    You're 46 and in American Samoa? Is he Samoan? I'm sure they have a different culture than here on the mainland USA - so if he's Samoan, nothing in our experience in the US would help in determining what his motives were. If you like him, hang out, as he seems to want to do, and see where it goes. He might just be a friendly guy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 06, 2014 4:34 AM GMT
    justjosh said
    AMoonHawk saidHe knows your gay!

    or

    He knows your gay?


    I doubt it. I'm not out to any other co-worker; not out at all. So, not sure why he might suspect.


    You went to dinner with him ... str8 guy coworkers don't do that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 06, 2014 9:03 AM GMT
    S34n05 said
    justjosh said
    AMoonHawk saidHe knows your gay!

    or

    He knows your gay?


    I doubt it. I'm not out to any other co-worker; not out at all. So, not sure why he might suspect.


    You went to dinner with him ... str8 guy coworkers don't do that.


    I've been to dinner with loads of coworkers. They must think I'm such a slut!